walk tall

Edit

uhm??

flow seemed ok. was very hard to read though coz you connected whole bunches of words for some reason
some lines seemed too stretched, like they shudda 2 lines instead of one

you diddnt get much of a point accross either, so u should of maybe added some more emotion or topical thoughts
wording goes off in a few places and becomes jumbles
so work on wording your pieces nicely, then shit be cooll

check out my 1--
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...at-371632.html

Sorry bro but i wasn't really feeling this too much. this kind of stuff is played and gets boring to read after the 4,000th time. flow was iight. the strucuture threw it off. rhymes were ehh it was hard to distinguish where the rhymes were the way you presented ur peice. improvement and elevation is something you should think about. read other peices to get some ideas if u have trouble. keep writing bro.

Edited

Flow was a bit off point, which made it hard to read. Also the way you wrote it made it a bit hard to but keep writing man, youll get better. Leave feedback on "My letter to heaven featuring kilaplaya" when you get time man.
Peace