Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins but booted for not voting]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/SOTW/SOT...W22-1-2(3).png

Punches due by THURSDAY NOV 30th @ 11:59PM
Voting closes SUNDAY DEC 3rd, 11:59PM

Check Ins
If you can't check in then there's something wrong w/ you
I won't be penalizing for not checking in though. Just make sure you drop a bar

No Shows
1 no show gets you taken out of the "in" roster. You will have to sign back in the next week
2 no shows gets you taken out of the "in" roster for 2 weeks
3 no shows gets you booted from the league for the rest of the season

Voting
Everyone is required to vote on 5 BATTLES MINIMUM. CONTENDERS AND CHAMP BEING MANDATORY
1 vote deduction for every battle link missed
Failure to vote at all will result in a boot from the league for 1 week
If your opponent no shows, you must vote on the required minimum to get the win

Battle Rules
In the event of a 3-way, each battler must drop 2 bars; 1 for each opponent
Battler must drop a bar to get a win, even if their opponent no shows/doesn't check
NO EXTENSIONS. It's only 1 bar
NO editing punches after opponent drops
Biting will result in a league/site ban
Recycling will result in DQ 1st time and League Ban 2nd time

@Witty
@Basic M

Let's take a look at those 2 losses, first, Smog starved you of breath
You picked yourself up, dusted yourself down...then Bomb Barred you to death

This prolly wouldn't have gotten you the dub tbh. nice rhymes per usual, great concept building. but the execution, from the wording to the actual closing of the punch, is severely lacking. you basically paid homage to 2 other writers instead of using their feats to further your own personal superiority over your opponent. it's like a rapper shouting out another rapper on a featured verse. you need to create your own tenacious presence and combine it with some wordplay, like the one you used here, and a harsh punch. you've got the rest of the elements necessary to win.

Witty wins Open for Feed. I'll drop some feed in a little bit

bomb barred had a lot of potential but the way you worded it didn't have much effect. Needed some other key wowrds in there to go with bombard like shell, explosion, mortar (could used mortar as a wp like "mortar your lack of skill than meets the eyes, s'why bomb barred you to death"). As is it didn't really hit but i can appreciate the wordplay attempt. You have the wordplay down just have to learn how to execute it.

Liked the bar as a whole but way to simplistic to be called a punch. Basic woulda ate this shit up

I like the personal tie but bomb barred you to death was way too simple it wasnt effective as far as sting factor went. I agree with Fresh you couldve used adjective to express the bomb barred reference to stand out more.

Let's take a look at those 2 losses, first, Smog starved you of breath
You picked yourself up, dusted yourself down...then Bomb Barred you to death

fuck what they talkin bout, i liked this bar
though u couldve made a punch out of Barred, and 'pick yourself up,dusted self off' didnt transition into a punch
overall it isnt a scheme/punch.
its still a decent bar to me, nameplay
multies dope too

I personally liked the punch, set did a little too much explaining rather than really hammering home the punch. Think this could’ve been a fairly even battle. Good drop none the less.

Nothing harsh about this punch at all. Ending was lackluster and I didn't feel the convention l concept much here either.