lonely, again.

You turned me into a cliché. Made me make these sob verses. Maybe, I’m crazy. Nah, worthless. Fuck you. Baby, I’m not perfect, but maybe if you stop worrying we’ll make it, alright? Nothing can change by fighting, but fucking could save us tonight. I love you.

“Okay, good night.”

This shit changes by the second, but lately it’s gotten worse since I started drinking to stop the hurting. Jameson’s not working. One minute you’re all happy. The next you’re angry and depressive, and I can’t help but fucking hate it. This self-destructive behavior...Love is a motherfucker, ain’t it? Enough is enough. Maybe, I’m just fucking in love, but I think you’re fucking this up. BABY. We’re stuck in a rut, waiting, on someone to trust. Angrily, I come home to fuck and make you scream.

“It’s only lust,” you say to me. “I know you must hate me.”

“Please!”

She’s become my crutch. I made her leave because I fucked up and let her see I was nothing but a made-up dream. A bunch of fucking fantasies. All those ones you can’t believe.

Hmm. I wish you'd have continued with this. Multi's were good. A bit...all over the place in terms of content but i think it was meant to be so whatever. It looks like if nothing else it was fun to do. I'm not big on the paragraph steeze but you netcees kats are known for that so whatever you enjoy. Stay up zen the dude

This was interesting. Emotion conveyed well but at the cost of content? Lots of repeating words but it didn't truly add a rhythm to the piece. All in all it seems more a piece to blow off stream than something you would seek to publish.

you're mean, man.

I did particularly like the she's become my crouch bit that was my favorite part.

I have Che Guevara's diary. well, not the ACTUAL diary, but the book he published afterwards. it's purty good. he seems like a swell, fella. seriously.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Truth Iscariot

Translation:This was interesting but only not. The emotion was conveyed well even though it lacked content. I mean emotion can totally be conveyed well in text with no content behind it. Yeah. Lots of repeating words but none of them rhyme. Even though they rhyme there was no rhythm but it did have cadence. lol. It blows off streams. You shouldn't publish this.

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lol

I liked this, good old fashioned get shit off your chest poetry. it might have lacked a polished look but its a red head id dance with.