Rhythmic Failure

Machines playing the rhythm of my heart
my soul tattered crying for justice
loved ones claiming I'm dead inside
bickering between my life or my death

listening how people really feel
never something I wanted to experience.
my mother's tone, "I always knew he'd end up dead"

Father grabbing my hand squeezing my skin,
never been a praying man until now
"God..can you hear me when I scream?"
my thoughts are caged inside of my skull

How is it that the people who once rejected me
are now the ones in charge of deciding my fate

Pictures fly through my mind,
graduation..wedding..first child
I can hear my wife's voice;
"It should've been me."
no baby it's supposed to me
take care of the baby, and don't forget about me

Baby sisters cries deafen my ears
but their laugh is my favorite song
I just want to reach up and touch their faces
one last time.
They whisper to against my cheek
"we love you big brother"
And that strikes a nerve in my heart

Controlling mother demands for the doctor
God, allow me to show some semblance of life
that's all I ask of you, or atleast

let me hear my baby's cry or laugh,
or feel the love of my life's peck on my cheek.
remembering the proposal and her screaming
"FUCK YES"


If I die tonight
atleast my last thoughts are of her.
I smell her raspberry soaked skin
hovering over my forehead
her lips pressing against my dry
skin.

She's the one who's supposed to save me
and as soon as her lips collide with my calm skin
my heart rate jolts up,
the machine goes wild, doctors rush in

Yelling, crying, her hands stayed on mine
the entire time, making sure I stayed with her
God, her voice is incredible.
"He's meant to be alive!"

Doctors beating down my chest,
injecting the needles into my veins
controlling my seizing body.
Barely alive but I'm hanging on dearly.

My eyelids shoot open, but it's all a blur
I open my mouth but nothing comes out
but I don't even
care.

Because, I'm fucking alive.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...69&postcount=3
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...93&postcount=7

Pictures fly through my mind,
graduation..wedding..first child
I can hear my wife's voice;
"It should've been me."
no baby it's supposed to me
take care of the baby, and don't forget about me

Baby sisters cries deafen my ears
but their laugh is my favorite song
I just want to reach up and touch their faces
one last time.
They whisper to against my cheek
"we love you big brother"
And that strikes a nerve in my heart

I was really feeling these lines alot....Idk why but I liked the part where the baby sister is like hurting and it had me thinking about them missing out on having that older overprotective brother.

There was another piece that I peeped of yours where I couldn't follow the story too well but I got this one. A guy is in the hospital and its like he's having a near-death experience and his spirit is in the room watching his loved ones mourn. Nice, creative story.

Machines playing the rhythm of my heart
my soul tattered crying for justice
loved ones claiming I'm dead inside
bickering between my life or my death

I liked these lines also....they really go well with the title and embody what the piece is about....crafty opener in my opinion.

Thanks for the feed, this is my new account. my [k] one got hacked but, appreciate the feed alot man. Just now getting into this style of writing, dabbling in it a little to see how I like it.