A Letter to "God" - Cry & Jonathon

A Letter to "God"

By: Cry [1st & Last]
Jonathon [2nd]






Okay, so...

Today, my Zune plays while I'm crossing the street,
and I'm thinking about what's ungodly to me..
because I want to believe, but He repels my offer,
I was baptized and it just felt like water..
then I try to sell my author; make Him something to need
but I don't believe what's under the cover to read!
and I discovered it means: "the sacred writings of any religion"
so man can turn paper to "bible" with any pen he dips in it?
and with so many men definite; like Buddah, Allah, Zeus -
which one's supreme? it's just too much for all of you,
too much to follow through and give all the spark in me,
I almost believe they all exist.. but as men like Martin King,
again, that part; it screams
in my heart it's nothing to me, but
Gahndi did the same things and he wasn't Jesus!
and I need this, need to know there's something better,
God, my mind's cold, so throw it a fucking sweater..
now my face is blushing; redder, at fault because of my slander,
but I will not apologize, I'll just crawl under a lantern -
and that's all it is after; laughter, light jokes with no marks,
like the unreligious praying to find hope with no heart,
if you exist, why's it so hard to just prove that it's true?
stop believing in us and we'll do that to you.

Dear god: from now on, we won't capitalize your name,
we'll bastardize your fame and irrationalize your ways..
blacken the sky to grey and go walkin' through your spot,
'cause my living's the same whether I talk to you or not.

What god? Is he really there to talk to you?
& if he's just ignoring me here's what I aught to do.
Spread the word of my beliefs, for you I have no grief
Where was your comfort when I tried coping with sleep?
Did you watch over me? No, you're ghost.
Here's questions that are obvious to many
because of his actions, most have yet to notice any.
And this thing with 'holy spirit', I'd just drink it up
Get me drunk, 'cause the everyday pains make me think enough.
Yet, you aren't sold in a liquor store -
nor do you make my bed or fix my matrice floor boards.
Once I prayed for weeks & continued to be ignored.
Patience? If someone had that much they'd safely be adored,
I know people praying for riches and still laying poor...

Dear god: from now on, we won't capitalize your name
we'll bastardize your fame and irrationalize your ways..
blacken the sky to grey and go walkin' through your spot,
'cause my living's the same whether I talk to you or not.

My Mom's dead, my Grandpa and Grandma's gone..
and I could go on screamin' for HALF those lost!
I had no pops.. where were you to convince him
to stay with his kid, to put him to bed and then kiss him?
to get him part of his wish list for Christmas..
dress up like St. Nick and wake him up as a witness?
with you there's no winnin'.. you're only a bird to the shellfish,
while I'm cursed; lonely and hurt to the helpless,
worth what a burn up in hell is, so it's time to break off; adieu!
I'm through, got no time for forever and a day long fueds,
or to wait on you to abandon habbits you build,
Jesus Christ.. capitalized - another man that you killed.

Dear god: from now on, we won't capitalize your name
we'll bastardize your fame and irrationalize your ways..
blacken the sky to grey and go walkin' through your spot,
'cause my living's the same whether I talk to you or not.


"I use to pray to him lots.. but now I pray FOR a god."

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-399383.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...we-399467.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...en-399391.html

this was a very emotional piece, i like how you portray you reason as to why there is doubt in your belief, i can imagine a lot of people catching feelings about this piece, thats when you got to remind them that OMs are ment to free for story telling and opinionating. this was deffinetly another good one on your lisy of OMs. hook flowed nice and i actually read it out loud to myself to get the feel. 2nd verse was a bit more direct and to the point but was a good addition to the setup that the 1st verse put out. i give this piece a 7.5 out of 9.

Cry, dope first verse overall. You threw in some well written philosophical type stuff, although i thought you lost it a little when you started going on the sweater tangent, you pulled it back though with solid vocab and imagery throughout. Chorus was harsh and multi-ridden, i liked it. Jonathon, you continued with the theme smoothly, your narrator came off a little more selfish but his arguments were still relatable, same as cry you brought good imagery and vocab here. Last verse was a killer, you got deep with it Cry and it stood out the most in this piece, great ending too.

Good work guys.

thanks dudes.. leave links everyone.

fucking deep gotta hand it to you yo very nice piece

I read this maybe four or five times in a row, and wasn't sure how to go about giving feed. Its great. Amazing really. You guys explain every aspect of your view with perfect flow, flawless lines, and amazing vocab. I have little experience in writing, but your work shines to me. Keep to writing guys, i fucking love this piece.

Yup.

pretty cool... my mom was totally insane when i was growing up, and she used to curse god all the time... sometimes for three or four days and nights in a row...i used to ask her "mom, why do you curse god like that? arent you afraid youll go to hell?" and my mom used to tell me that god understands us when we are angry with him, and he is sympathetic with us, because he loves us... then she went on to tell me that the moody blues were god talking to her, and shed go on about the lyrics, most of which she recited incorrectly, and they had meaning only to her...in my opinion she shoulda never fucked with the ouija board, but she did have a similar insight into the nature of god... nice work

....

what?

preciated the feed, but chill on life stories

jk duke

thanks

The first verse was mostly very good. The sweater line made me embarassed for you tho.

To break it down i liked the multi's to me they seemed different to what you usually see maybe its your accent i dunno what people from toledo sound like. But they flowed in a way i thought was very original and well .. good.

The seccond verse looked very weak when compared to the first as the content was very general and didnt seem to say much and the rhymes were weak.


To me the last verse didnt live up to the expectations set by the first the rhymes were much simpler and the message failed to go anywhere for me. Last line was the only one with real impact.

The hook was brilliant. It really matched the topic and overall feel of the peice. Absolutley spot on. With a good delivery on audio it would have made this a good track.

Overall i think this could have been better with a bit of re-writing. Infact i think it could have been an excellent peice. But to me if your message is god is an asshole. Then say that dont tippy toe around it. Its a message thats gonna get in a lot of peoples faces so might as well throw it at them.

Just my 2 cents not tryna hate.

peace

yea dis shit was nice....cry did a number on the first and last verse...he opened it up well with -
"Today, my Zune plays while I'm crossing the street,
and I'm thinking about what's ungodly to me..
because I want to believe, but He repels my offer,
I was baptized and it just felt like water..


also.....great way to start off the last verse
My Mom's dead, my Grandpa and Grandma's gone..
and I could go on screamin' for HALF those lost!
I had no pops.. where were you to convince him
to stay with his kid, to put him to bed and then kiss him?
to get him part of his wish list for Christmas..
dress up like St. Nick and wake him up as a witness?
with you there's no winnin'.. you're only a bird to the shellfish,
while I'm cursed; lonely and hurt to the helpless,

the flow was consisten the whole way through...

and to jonathan

What god? Is he really there to talk to you?
& if he's just ignoring me here's what I aught to do.
Spread the word of my beliefs, for you I have no grief
Where was your comfort when I tried coping with sleep?
Did you watch over me? No, you're ghost.
Here's questions that are obvious to many
because of his actions, most have yet to notice any.


hot shit, im pretty sure alot of people think like this

dope.. keep feeding peeps. glad ya'll like it.

One of the best things I've read in OM
Deep piece, I really felt it

"because I want to believe, but He repels my offer,
I was baptized and it just felt like water..
then I try to sell my author; make Him something to need
but I don't believe what's under the cover to read!
and I discovered it means: "the sacred writings of any religion"
so man can turn paper to "bible" with any pen he dips in it?"

Read that part again and again, aha

thanks..