Planet X – The last days of Gomorrah
Quote:
Fanatical cannibals,
with biomechanical mandibles;
Zion... overrun by tyrannical animals.
lol...man i couldn't read that stanza without hearing canibus verse on this song..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXTCLp1XY3U
the rhyme pattern is definitely noticeable here. In a topical sense the word choices are a bit easy. However the imagery certainly stayed true to the ambiguous commentary i've come to admire about your work.
Quote:
Profit over philosophical logic,
replacing prophets with narcotics,
chocolate and nonsensical gossip.
the profit/prophet homophone is a bit trite (especially for someone of your poetic range). this stanza seemed to attack the waning value of society.
Quote:
A nonculture of vultures,
infrastructure ruptures -
breaking out into ulcers.
"a nonculture of vultures" ha, interesting turn of phrase there.
Quote:
A cataclysm to wisdom;
naturalism sold out to
visions of nuclear fission
environmental awareness.
Quote:
The revolution WILL be computerized.
another dope turn. i actually like this line a lot. strangely balancing the obvious with the oblivious. well placed humor also.
Quote:
Hackers and trackers,
expose politicians and actors;
way to kill two birds with one stone.
Quote:
comatose hippies and slackers…
sit in war-room’ bedrooms,
ready to cripple digital factions.
were u alluding to the video game culture here?
Quote:
Ports open, sores and e-wart corrosion...
soaking
into our mainframe; broken.
A virus in our system,
we talk, never listen;
oh love the over arching tech theme and the slick transition into physiological/psychological merit, using the word "virus".
Quote:
we live in our prisons,
of thought without question.
interesting conclusion. i somewhat disagree as society has become quite cynical. Perhaps you're referring to our evolving habits and pattern? If so, then i totally agree. Not necessarily an original topic, but i really appreciate your take on it. the creative flair implemented was a welcoming change of pace.
P.S. Post more, mofo!