special guy

He's sweet & a very handsome guy,
To some lucky girl I'm sure she'll get to be with him.
& Treat him like he her World,
He's special...no perfect in his own way.
He grab everyones attention from far away,
He's that special guy.
To me he's my World,
Now he can see how I feel
you should let me be the one
Our love will be so real,
I will love you from the bottom of my heart.
I can tell he different compare to other guys,
So it won't fall apart.
He's the apple in my eye,
He's my angel in sky.
Nothing can change the face that I love him,
I hope he feels the same way too

Okay The Goodness. This is...not great. its all fluff and nothing substantial sure its all cute and all but nothing really poetic about it. You need to use more poetic devices such at metaphors and what not. If you keep learning and keep writing you are bound to get better and better.

Poetry is a way of intellectualising our emotional attachments. But (good) poetry is rarely purely emotional. It is far more intellectual. It is not like writing a song where you can get away with simple statements of emotion. So, to improve your poetry, make it more intellectual. To do this, make sure your vocabulary, grammar, diction, punctuation etc is linguistically accurate. In this piece you've missed words in some lines, and typed 'face' where you meant to type 'fact'; errors like this matter moreso in poetry than any other form of writing. Make sure you lay your piece out properly. And, like illuminate said, use poetic devices. Metaphors, similes, and imagery are your basic foundations of poetry.

Listen to the above critics & transform this cute poem into something cute & technically extraordinary. You have the ability, it's just utilizing the tools around you. Once you do that you'll be a mechanic with the pen. Frost out.

Eh... intellectualizing poetry is a thing. Not a bad thing. But we mustn't ferget the emotional expression of what poetry is. Y'know... expressing our emotions.

I think that's what I like about this peace because you are expressing your emotions, you're expressing a very real one. Longing. A desire to be with someone you're not with. Knowing it would be well if things fall into place. It hurts. It's a special kind of hurt. It's also rather sweet, as well. It's the sorta thing we only get to feel when we're young. Get old and rusty like me, you start to miss the ability to feel emotions. And here, you express it in rather raw form.

It is raw though. Like uncooked meat, which isn't bad. We're here to elevate and get better. You got the meat, that's what you need before anything else. No amount of seasoning and stir fry is gonna make a decent stake without something raw. So you got that. I think in regards to the technical aspect, what will help you most is proofreading. Which is to say, making sure you spell everything right, got all the right punctuation, and everything is saying what you want it to say. After that, maybe see about experimenting with similes and metaphors?

Mo-mentai.

^Yeah but in poetry you really have to intellectualize your portrayal of emotion. Just stating exactly what you're thinking is not poetry.

I want to be with him
NOT poetry

He shoots through my veins
Like a bullet train
And penetrates my heart
Poetry
@zombicidal @$The Goodness$

thans for the feedback guys!

I think this poem shows true love. When I read this, it felt surreal. We can always look at ways of trying to make it better. But we got the emotion. And no letters, can give you that.