Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 Wins!!!
143 vs OG Maestro
CHECK IN 4/24
VERSES BY 4/28 EXTENSION 4/29
VOTES BY 5/2
YOUR TOPIC IS ABOUT YOUR INNER FEAR. THE PIC WILL REPRESENT YOUR FEAR
YOU MUST WRITE A VERSE ABOUT YOUR FEAR WITH HER AS A REPRESENTATION
20 - 60 LINES
MUST VOTE ON ALL OPEN BATTLES OR THE MISSING VOTES WILL COST YOU VOTES. BOTH WITH THE SAME MISSING VOTES BECOMES A DRAW. BOTH DIDN'T VOTE AND BOTH RECEIVE LOSSES.
@143
@OG Maestro
HERE IS YOUR TOPIC
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...psog939ezz.jpg
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
Brand new Beretta.
Can't wait to let it go
Walk up in the label like,
"Where the check doe?"
Yeah, I said it.
Wouldn't dap you with the left, hoe
Shut the fuck up.
Text from a centerfold;
I ain't reply,
Let her know I read it, tho
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
Withering eyes...the dichotomy of having vision-less realities
Precision-less complicity feeding into twisted timeless formalities
Asking me if these buffered edges were sustainable truths
Explaining the cantankerous roof laughing at inspirational proof
Filtrating the ear canals to subside in the hijacking of taste
Pushing along tribes on a quest to maintain through order
So now at best, the Jester moves the ransacking with haste
Programming the 808 kick drum to resonate through a warder
Even though the love for myself becomes a machismo ballet
Where gallantry and elegance is lost in the dismal display
Two left feet never righting the sunlight spawn spots
Evidence that the wonders of yesteryear are vacant lots
But I dance the electric boogie despising weather reports
Knowing the heaviness of my decisions are a tethered consort....
I've blackened Instagrams of receptiveness showing my internal faults
Afraid that my socially born compulsiveness becomes a diurnal shock
AS well as the nutrients needed converse with gossip columnists
Sparks resuscitation of the involvement of confidence's abolishment
Acknowledgement's admonishment is absently solvent
Seen in the regurgitation of messaged accomplishments
Like Augusts installing insolence in diuretic installments
Making drapes clothes compose itself aesthetically lethargic
Winded questions blow by as the porcelain gods give counsel
Invoking the reduction in the percentage of finding someone spousal
Not that arousal could be found in 400lb body frames
But can be oddly sustain in the 23 inch waist and 22 inch hips
Even touch lies when I see my stomach rounded and flat
Tucked in pants that are even with my breast size
WHO is the lie, comprising of these surprises spitting game into my ear
Letting me know my Anorexia is outgrowing being just a fear.....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v4...psog939ezz.jpg
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
oh damnnn, I got you fam. bouta write after I finish a paper
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
Quote:
Originally Posted by
143
Withering eyes...the dichotomy of having vision-less realities
Precision-less complicity feeding into twisted timeless formalities
Asking me if these buffered edges were sustainable truths
Explaining the cantankerous roof laughing at inspirational proof
Filtrating the ear canals to subside in the hijacking of taste
Pushing along tribes on a quest to maintain through order
So now at best, the Jester moves the ransacking with haste
Programming the 808 kick drum to resonate through a warder
Like that word to start us right off. Withering eyes. That sense of decay. Dichotomy. A division between the lie and reality. Fits right in with the pic topic of the week. Buffered edges. I see that as a sense of what she sees in the mirror. Seeing thickness on the body where in fact there is none. Jester, a joker… an uncooperative roof. Seems to me that what she believes is truth in the mirror is becoming less apparent. Facts of anorexia coming on…
Even though the love for myself becomes a machismo ballet
Where gallantry and elegance is lost in the dismal display
Two left feet never righting the sunlight spawn spots
Evidence that the wonders of yesteryear are vacant lots
But I dance the electric boogie despising weather reports
Knowing the heaviness of my decisions are a tethered consort....
That strange aspect of anorexia. They have to know that there is something wrong with what they’re doing, but yet they can’t stop. Fucking crazy how disorders like that can just tear you apart. Despising weather reports, you got some abstract thinking going on in here. Weather reports seems to me a bit ominous, like the report might be of lighting/hurricans yet she still dances and makes bad decisions in the face of consequences.
I've blackened Instagrams of receptiveness showing my internal faults
Afraid that my socially born compulsiveness becomes a diurnal shock
AS well as the nutrients needed converse with gossip columnists
Sparks resuscitation of the involvement of confidence's abolishment
Acknowledgement's admonishment is absently solvent
Seen in the regurgitation of messaged accomplishments
Like Augusts installing insolence in diuretic installments
Making drapes clothes compose itself aesthetically lethargic
Blackened instagrams. Wonder if that means turning them off. Not wanting to show because of what others might say. Social media has a way of us making feel not so great about our lives sometimes. Gossip columnists. God I hate gossip columnists. I get this idea of standards of beauty in media that’s difficult to achieve for either man or woman and it creates this kind of shit. No admonishment because no one acknowledges the problem.
Winded questions blow by as the porcelain gods give counsel
Invoking the reduction in the percentage of finding someone spousal
Not that arousal could be found in 400lb body frames
But can be oddly sustain in the 23 inch waist and 22 inch hips
Even touch lies when I see my stomach rounded and flat
Tucked in pants that are even with my breast size WHO is the lie, comprising of these surprises spitting game into my ear
Letting me know my Anorexia is outgrowing being just a fear.....
I love that. Arousal not found in 400lb body frames but is in these incredibly thin figures that are just as unhealthy to upkeep. Seeing the lie, beginning to see it, going beyond fear; becoming/is a reality.
That’s some real shit 143. I’ve seen your flow be better within the scheme of the rhymes. Though there is a lot of dope stuff going on here. Acknowledgment’s admonishment is absently solvent. Loved that line, that was slick as fuck. Overall this doesn’t flow as well as it usually does, your vocabulary is there and noted. But, I enjoyed the unique way you approached this. Very different way of attacking that photo which I kind of expect nothing less from you!
Interested to see what OG got if he doesn't no show. I'll leave this as feed for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
OG Maestro
Life's a roller coaster, and I'm lost for the ride
Everyday my faith waves like it's tossed at the tide
Welcome to the belly of the beast; a monster inside
Haven't ate for days, no food for the thoughts on my mind
Malnourished, and weak. I can't flourish and speak
Tunnel vision an obelisk, where it blurs at the peak
Can't see the end or the beginning of my condition
Nutrition never gets better, I still crash; suffer and my mother is wishing,
Personally I think the roller coaster concept is a bit cliched and done at this point. However, you don't lose points on flow cus' you definitely have it! Digging the word-smithing/play there on the second line. Powerful concept, every day her faith is wavering. Losing strength. The ocean imagery is a nice touch, and the image of a monster that doesn't eat except for eating itself I suppose. Anorexia is self destructive after all.
That I become a Christian, while handing me a slice of bread--
This is the last supper.
I attempt to sleep with a twisted cinematic version of Wallace & Gromit
Counting sheep, but the numbers on the scale begin the solace of vomit
Simple and sleek, nimble and meek -- I look out the window, and heap...
My true fear lies deep...just a gut feeling, a secret that I no longer keep
Follow me.
Christian imagery with the last supper, I like that. Solace of vomit, jesus that's pretty strong right there. Restless, can't sleep... That disorder, this sense of self hatred for the body and a number on a scale. Last supper is an interesting choice to. It's the last day before death pretty much, so you got me intrigued there OG.
My eyes: Skull & Bones; my life: a movie so tragic: a.k, a Cult Classic
But with lies too drastic, my Seven Deadly Sins are Seven Blind Mice
Looking in a mirror made of plastic I attempt to define sight's,
Illusion: there's an elephant in the room that I try to find; vice,
of a Model-
Skull & Bones. That death visual, that's something you'd see o na medical able. And then you snap me in with that line right there at the end... "Illusion: there's an elephant in the room" What a cool way to flip that saying around to fit the concept and the picture topic. Elephant in the room, elephant in the mirror but that elephant isn't there. It's an illusion. Could twist that around too, the real elephant is the truth of her condition.
Molded by the keen eye of the public reflected upon the television:
Beauty's definition: Photoshop demolition, 'sharecropped' recognition
And I want no piece of this hellish prison, yet here I am popping pills
Please don't stop the thrills. 90210 greed, I want to rock the hills
Rocking heels, that make my feet bleed but...
But all cross Twitter's pages, they gon' love this
Every Instagram model agent, they gon' love this.
I'm everybody's muhfuckin' Favorite, they gon' love this.
I'm every body's favorite but my body? I hate it. I don't love this.
Popular culture and social media. I like bringing Beverly Hills into this as the stereotypical image of a glorious life of beauty and dresses and heels and parties. But it's not all that it seems, is it? No, definitely not. Everybody's favorite, except herself. Except her own body that despises all of it.
So please Pay Attention,
Cause my poor nutrition can't afford it. I need a piece of your wealth.
This serves as my pension,
My soul food. And every night I go without, I eat at myself.
Wonder who is meant to pay attention. Herself? Someone else? She calling out for help... I like the ambiguity of that in its own right. Eating at her own self.
Well shit... These are two pretty strong verses with the same topic but twisted into different styles. I think OG had a stronger ending which makes me nearly vote for him, but 143's combination of vocab and strong flow in the middle was really powerful. OG had better flow, 143's felt a bit more original in content.
It's close. Vote ends up going to... 143
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro
Life's a roller coaster, and I'm lost for the ride
Everyday my faith waves like it's tossed at the tide
Welcome to the belly of the beast; a monster inside
Haven't ate for days, no food for the thoughts on my mind
Malnourished, and weak. I can't flourish and speak
Tunnel vision an obelisk, where it blurs at the peak
Can't see the end or the beginning of my condition
Nutrition never gets better, I still crash; suffer and my mother is wishing,
That I become a Christian, while handing me a slice of bread--
This is the last supper.
I attempt to sleep with a twisted cinematic version of Wallace & Gromit
Counting sheep, but the numbers on the scale begin the solace of vomit
Simple and sleek, nimble and meek -- I look out the window, and heap...
My true fear lies deep...just a gut feeling, a secret that I no longer keep
Follow me.
My eyes: Skull & Bones; my life: a movie so tragic: a.k, a Cult Classic
But with lies too drastic, my Seven Deadly Sins are Seven Blind Mice
Looking in a mirror made of plastic I attempt to define sight's,
Illusion: there's an elephant in the room that I try to find; vice,
of a Model-
Molded by the keen eye of the public reflected upon the television:
Beauty's definition: Photoshop demolition, 'sharecropped' recognition
And I want no piece of this hellish prison, yet here I am popping pills
Please don't stop the thrills. 90210 greed, I want to rock the hills
Rocking heels, that make my feet bleed but...
But all cross Twitter's pages, they gon' love this
Every Instagram model agent, they gon' love this.
I'm everybody's muhfuckin' Favorite, they gon' love this.
I'm every body's favorite but my body? I hate it. I don't love this.
So please Pay Attention,
Cause my poor nutrition can't afford it. I need a piece of your wealth.
This serves as my pension,
My soul food. And every night I go without, I eat at myself.
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro ---OPEN 4 VOTES---
143,
At times your vocabulary is overbearing. But this is one of those times where that barrage of vocabulary just works for you. The image is hard to take any other way then the obvious. . anorexia . . but the detail and the way you just assault the reader with that vocabulary is quite impressive when coupled with your multis and well composed line counts. It takes a very keen eye to get this great of balance in diction vs letting the story get across in such a technical manner. In the middle of the very last section, the end rhymes kind of threw me off. . but thats minor in its entirety. This was an excellent read
OG,
Hey man. .i have to admit, when i read this intro. .
Quote:
Life's a roller coaster, and I'm lost for the ride
Everyday my faith waves like it's tossed at the tide
Welcome to the belly of the beast; a monster inside
Haven't ate for days, no food for the thoughts on my mind
Malnourished, and weak. I can't flourish and speak
Tunnel vision an obelisk, where it blurs at the peak
Can't see the end or the beginning of my condition
I was sold man. After the first two lines i was already preparing myself to hand you my vote . .
but as i read on . . . it just sort of fell apart on you. The story itself was great. You are gifted with the ability to tell a great story in multi faceted layers. That is just the obvious. . and technically you are such a sound writer, but in this work here that flow just lacked the consistency. It started out tight and composed then just sort of turned into a mushy soup by the end. Was it rushed?
For me personally, you just sort of lost me with the flow. Its like the writing started out graceful then by the midway point you lost interest and was just banging out words and lines to get a verse in. Dont get me wrong, even where i was having trouble with the pace and flow, there was some conceptually dope ideas in there. . but with the technical drawbacks, this one was sort of a mixed bag of nuts for me ya know?
My vote = 143
Re: Sacred Scriptures Season 15: Championship Series: Week 6: 143 vs OG Maestro ---OPEN 4 VOTES---
143: as always your superior vocab was on display and once again I left feeling kinda dumb. Not sure if u realize how much you can alienate the reader sometimes. Once I deciphered what I could u was able to kick back and admire pure brilliance. You guys probably had the most self explanatory pic of the week which put all the pressure on approach and execution. I love how u didn't spend time dancing around an obvious topic yet weren't too blatant either.
But I dance the electric boogie despising weather reports
Knowing the heaviness of my decisions are a tethered consort....
Some of that brilliance as only u can deliver it. From metaphors to vocab to pure emotion, those lines hold so much.
I'm also big on ur closing line. It wrapped the piece around full circle right back to the topic so great drop.
OG-first I loved ur approach for the exact opposite reason. You were straight to the point with your topic and feelings and to me that made it a little more emotionally involved. Ya flow was a little all over the place but I loved it. Like listening to some old canibus.
But with lies too drastic, my Seven Deadly Sins are Seven Blind Mice
Looking in a mirror made of plastic I attempt to define sight's,
There were amazing lines like this throughout that creatively captured the tone of the speaker
Rocking heels, that make my feet bleed but...
But all cross Twitter's pages, they gon' love this
Every Instagram model agent, they gon' love this.
I'm everybody's muhfuckin' Favorite, they gon' love this.
I'm every body's favorite but my body? I hate it. I don't love this.
That's pure passion right there. All the vocab and wordplay in the world couldn't match that emotion in my opinion.
My vote goin to OG. While his piece failed to match up in any form when it comes to overall polish, the rawness of his tone combined with great lines spoke volumes to me