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PnP: All The Time
All The Time
From: thedailynews@hotmail.com
Date: 19 September 1993 04:12
To: jordy_chandler_@epals.com
Subject: A News Article
Dear Mr. Chandler,
Our tabloids interested in running your story for a four page article in an upcoming issue, basically we'd like a little background information and then your thoughts on the subject, any feedback you could give us would be grately appreciated.
Yours sincerely,
Annette C. Verss
Annette C. Verss
The Daily News Chief Reporter
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From: jordy_chandler_@epals.com
Date: 21 September 1993 19:37
To: thedailynews@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: A News Article
The house was like a fairytale, a sudden Dream Come True,
we'd often Hold Hands together as we went to See The Zoo.
I thought He was Cool. . & back then we'd go play for hours,
on the Acres of grass he owned, or inside that place of ours,
watching the latest Thrillers .. and If i got scared or worried,
he'd Rub my Shoulders and Kiss my forehead to comfort me.
Often He'd invite us over, me an several other male children
and like to see us Bath Together before we'd sleep with him.
He said it was 'Our Little Secret, no one else should find out'
and calmly placed his palm on my thigh with the lights down.
By Now id sensed this was wrong, told him i that felt scared,
he Broke into Tears and said "But I thought we were friends?"
I told him i didnt mean it. Apologised as he knelt on the floor,
and He Hugged me Much Tghter than I had Ever Felt Before.
Warned me not to speak about this, to keep my Mouth Shut,
cause he'd 'be sent to prison if ever they found out About Us'
.
.
After my parents picked me up.. i Breathed a Sigh of Relief,
i used to think that guy was cool, but he was a Giant Creep.
I i Couldnt Sleep that night .. I remember Shutting my Eyes,
& my spine shiverin at the thought of him touching my thigh
i Started Crying .. my parents had started Questioning Now,
Fighting back the tears i revealed what was Never in Doubt,
My parents were sick and disgusted, then a law suit ensued
"The King of Tots?" became common place on Evenin News
.
.
its True, we settled out of court for a sum of several million
but you cant Put a Price on how this'll Effect his Next Victim.
will it take Sex with Children before this monsters stopped?!
The evidence was there before.. but Reluctance From Cops,
means this pervert is still out there, & why prolong it longer,
Neverland's a Peadophile's Paradise, too Attract Youngsters.
His innocence's a Cover. There's kids sleepin in his Room &,
some say he's bein friendly, the police consider it 'Grooming'
Which is true, cause now Im smarter than I was as a Child,
I thought we were friends.
and All The Time he was a Peadophile. .
It makes me sick.
- Jordy Chandler
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ill, all there is too it...
cant say anything against this to give you any constructive criticism...
how'd you get your structure so good?
~AshY~
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Structure? You mean how its set out to even lines like it is? Its pretty simple ..
When your writing your verse on Microsoft Word, change the font to Tahoma ( Western ) and the size to "10" thats the same font type / size the board uses, so if it has even lines on Word, it'll have even lines when you post it here.
Simple. :)
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Tight piece man , your content was nice and your rhyme scheme was fire
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stop replying to your own thread or it's gone, faggamuffin
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This was tight, some nice multis, nothing exceptinal apart from the story telling, but it was obvius thats that all you aimed for, and a damn good job done on it, a really nice read,
*gets up of his cushion, takes his thumb out of his mouth, then smiles* Lol
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This is All the bullshit replies Cam gets? Damn, wtf is wrong with these people... At first I didn't wtf you were tryin to do until I started reading the kids e-mail... this was a dope concept... new, I've never seen anyone do one of these. I see you're talking about M. Jackson, which I won't put my personal stance on this situation... but the story was detailed... never once fell off topic. Fuck the structure... read the content. Much respect... this Should go in Legends...
Up...
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Holy shit....... I don't know how you even came up with that concept but its genius. I"m all agreed with Meta, content was off the chain. Keep this shit up
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Thanks! Its nice to see i get some recognition, and yeah - with all the recent controvery surrounding him, i figured id attempt it.
Cheers Meta. :)
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i think this had all essential elemants plus shows diversity in how you write text all and all a great drop
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This Was Dope.. Like Usual.. Really Good Read
Story Telling Was On Point.. Rhymes Were There
Concept Was Dope.. The Flow Went Well With
The Shceme Of It.. I Really Dont KNow What To
Tell YOu What You Else You Should Do With This
Cept..
Hit Any Or All oF These Up In Return
Forever
Dont Call
Before Your Gone
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Lmao at the shameless plug .. i'll get to them all one by one son ..
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Hmmz
The ...concept was nice
Liked these lines the most:
The house was like a fairytale, a sudden Dream Come True,
we'd often Hold Hands together as we went to See The Zoo.
I thought He was Cool. . & back then we'd go play for hours,
on the Acres of grass he owned, or inside that place of ours,
Maybe cause i can relate a little, ..sometimes the flow was off, and went into a poetic direction in my opinion ..but the message in this piece corrected that , ..vocab fitted right into this, and all by all this was a nice read..
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I doubt you understood it fully. The concept wasnt 'nice' at all
= /
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Fucking hell .. upping for some decent replies ..
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The topic was interesting..a little disturbing but it worked.
The only thing i can really add to what other people have said is...it wasn't just your flow or vocab that was nice.It was the way you worded your lines..that sort of brought the whole thing together, real good storytelling aswel.
ive bin told on other sites my replies are not decent :(
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Flow - Simple flow, but it was straight
Topic - Very good topic, I was really feelin that hommie
Rhyme Scheme - It was straight, but didnt fade your flow
Allusion - Awsome, Very very good job homie
Synonyms - Did good with em.
Multies - Did a nice job with multies
Conept - I was feeling the concept, had me thinking. nice.
Over all - 9 / 10
Where are you at from england hommie? I use to live at lakenheath A.F.B. You live anywhere near there, or live there.
P.M. me aight hommie.
OUT
-High Class a.k.a Confusion
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^ Wolverhampton, Near Birmingham actually ..
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GODDAMN, THIS SHIT WAS FIRE MY NIGGA. VOCAB WAS GREAT, FLOW WAS PERFECT, AND THE CONCEPT WAS GENIUS, TRULY INOVATIVE PIECE, A DEF. 10/10.
PIECE.
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that was tight dawg.....the Vocab was Awesome....the structure was different But allround 10/10 real tight shit Kuz
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I thought this was a great peice...the structure and flow was perfection...the story was pretty well planned and told...nothing to literary about it...but it was still ill...some great lines were:
I i Couldnt Sleep that night .. I remember Shutting my Eyes,
& my spine shiverin at the thought of him touching my thigh
holla
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