A Million Miles

fgee, Mp..., and...the 13th ap....

Your My Best Friend..I Love You Eternally
How Do I Comprehend..The Emotion Properly
Your Miles Away..But I Dream About You
I Want You rach-ay..What Am I Suppose To do

Verse 1
From the first moment - First chat on the phone
My heart you owned it - Cured my broken home
Evaperated disbeliefs - Garded my obscene pride
Graduated my beliefs - Still I have feelings inside
You yet to igknowlage - I feel love to a lost power
Help my loves knowlage - My feelings always coward
This rain it storms - Frustrating the distance between
Love in all forms - Humilatian how my love is obscene
How do i tell you my priorties - your just a friend
Helping you is my life majority- but I yeild and pretend
My uncrowned Queen rach - The beauty of a bride
Deep down I feel Rapped - Can I tell you why?
Your smile Your laugh - Your everything I crave
My secret love stash - I'll lvoe you until the grave
This is my diseased secret - Why do I even pretend
Your miles away but hear it - I wonna be more then friends
you have one arm - But your still worthy of me
My lucky charm - The reason i'm so wild and free
Eternal Cancer of love - never to be have a cure
Do you wonna thug? - wit a love naturally pure
Amune to apt to the miles - for you i'd try to conquore
Still hidden love under smiles -
I'm a criminal for wanting her to say..."i do' your awner


a different apraoch....critiques wud be apreciated thanks pz

nice shit man i was really feelin dat 8/10

yo can u hit up my battle honestly its in my sig

That was dope man i was feelin tha flow overall 7/10

Yeah this was pretty good i thought, it was a good read....the structure to this was nice, nothing really bad about it...your vocab was nice in this piece i thought.....the flow of it was good, it stayed on point i thought mostly got off at a few spots but nothing really big....overall i thought this was pretty good.

pretty good flow you had here... you could have worded some
lines a lil' differently, but all is good here... your vocab was good
for this peice and your structure was good... overall, this was a
nice read... you should prolly make it a lil longer next time... but
this was good...
~AshY~

Good flow nice structure, good vocab and nice immagery very nice read my man = ) ..

thanks every1, an ye A.T i'll try that...pz

my boy never misses a step

vocab was good
I really liked dis piece
8.5/10

thanks uppen...

This shit was pretty good. Give about an 8/10.......I wasn't feeling your flow as much as others did though, the vocabulary was used well and you painted a sick little picture in my head. Nice drop


Hit me up ...my piece is title Jackass or some shit like that

apreciate the feeb...keep it comen

That was hot. i was feelin' that flow. 8/10. keep droppin.

that was deep as hell
real dope man
8/10

thanks apreciated

That was really good there was a couple of lines that I didn't think flow as well as I would have preffered but it had alot of heart. Can I ask you a personal question you said that the girl had one arm is that a metaphor or truth. any ways that was deep Good one can you check out my Forever My Homie

yup thats for real man..she only got one half of her arm..and one full one...but she still a hotty..uppen this pz

that was a Tight Piece.....i could feel ya in that.......u could of doen a lot betta Jokez LoL.......ill give ya 8/10

aiight Peace Out Kuz

fuck you....that one arm thing wasnt a joke....pz

pretty good kid
structure and flow was nice...liked thta
although some of the follow on internal rhymes seemed a bit forced at times and the word choice was a bit meh
however i liked the content was well written on the whole
some nice imagery
piece

i agree this was pretty tight, some nice vocab......good structure....nice rhyming......some did seem a little forced but on the whole i liked it....good drop.......Pz

thanks fgee and devo thats apreciated