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Verses Due: Friday
Votes Due: Sunday
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Your topic: How I died
checkinn
How many lines?
16>?
16? sure.. when do you want to post by Mic? tonight?
fate never showed me favoritism beforehand but happyness still dangled
But now dasterdly masachists with manacle mechanisms damage and mangle
up, down, obtuse & right angles, it seems every direction heeds new labels
i lack the legs to walk to success, thats why its so difficult to turn the tables
tales of peace are fables, even in cease-fire times these snakes'll flank you
took ages to realize, but now i see the world is 2-faced, through & through
even when you win you lose, to the victors go the spoils..yeah, thats true
i wasnt told that the sweet taste of victory cake, is now merely spoiled food
so out falls the sweet tooth.. im left with nothing but bitterness to chew on
seems im trying to see my dreams through a blind eye..with an eyepatch on
two rights make a wrong, this is an assholes world..nice guys finish last
nothing but problems on top of problems, new and old conflicts overlap
at my shortcomings i try to laugh, but the sound never seems to escape
so im left holding it all inside.. jaw open..dumbfounded look upon my face
i once loved humans, but this is no longer the case...
and you wonder, will the Son ever rise?..
no..im turning my back on you all, this is your fate...
for this is the suicide note of Jesus.. you all wrote it with your own actions..
killing me more and more inside...
the title of this abomination?
How I Died
match w/e i posted..
i dont wanna count those lines ill do 22 i think u did that many
checkin
verse due this friday..em i rite???
so igot three dayz stil...
if not let me no ill do it now..if not then ill wait for the pressure
you said that you wrre done on AIM and that you were gopnna post when you were unbanned...
you told me youd post later on the same night that i did hoe...wheres your verse?
7:23 am.
wake up to the sounds of bullets shatterin my window..
whos shootin at me this time as i grab my mac from under my pillow..
an fire back at these nugs hopin my wife dont turn out a widow..
im quick to release my clip,wuteva it take to stress my fact..
that its to eaRLY for me to go so i grab titly to my strap..
let no man contest me or even try to attempt me..
ill thro on the vest an leave him dead in envy..
since elementry theres been bullys an nerds..
but now rb has its own class full of herbs..
so how can one of these kids kill me.better prepare to die.
cuz i aint gunna leave u out my site an let my nine put up the fite..
u no wuts comin to u .it really is that time.
for u to leave an me to rise.but i fuked up The cops sentence me
to life in hte pen cuz i had no choice but to kill my enimies..
so i say to that thug state of mind to let go..
cuz all it brought to me was death row..
a quick glimpse of cash an hoes cuz of my spits..
but fuk, i didnt no i wud end of paying for it.
i have things to accomplish lifes too far..
away from me cuz im starin at steel bars..
droppin raw takin out jaws, in suspensity soon to be dead..
now i got a million bolts of electicity in my head..
the only way for me to succeed an rise to the fullest.
is if i dont die in the mits of drive bys an loose bullets
Blah..i have no time....an you are compalining..wuteva...i didnt edit..or nathen..jsut think of it how u want
strong battle..........
I think Dezyr won this, but not by much.....Dezzy'z wordplay was sick and diffeerent angle was taken, explainin the situation first and then Explainin how he's demise came about.........
Narc.......came strong but it was all wham bam bam...action, action action....didn't explain surroundings in that much depth etc
VOTE: DEZ
good battle from both spitters, two diffrent styles two diffrent ways to put out the topic
dez- wordplay - dope
narc- structure - dope
but i felt dez's more
vote - Dezyir
waiting for more battles to get done...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=92336
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=92318
I didnt feel Mics too much .. he came decent .. just not enough for the win .. he needed more character build up and plot line or a fresh twist to rteally flip the edge in this .. as it was he didnt .. Dezyir came ok .. long bars .. but content was decent, liked his take on the topic .. the ammount of bars was gay and really took away from this, you should set bar limits on your pieces cause you rush to finish them and cant get in all you like .. but ehhh .. as it is, V- Dezyir .. he took this one pretty comfortably.
VOTING RING CREW, HOLLA!
This was clearly Dez's win.
Great imagery, great story, great twist there at the end.
The only thing I'd bitch about was ya flow...
Just felt it wasn;t there at times, had ta backtrack and re-read in a few spots...
But, the vocab, the wordplay, the metas ("eyepatch", "tables", and "food" lines were tight) belonged to Dez.
Narc, sorry...
Just didn't feel ya verse from the beginning.
Too gang banger, too thug, too selfish of a story.
I mean, bullets are flying through ya window...
And you're not concerned about ya wife getting hit, ya concerned about YOU getting hit and leaving her a widow.
WTF?
Very simple, vocab was elementary, flow was ok, but the content and the story could have been so much better.
Dez
everything left to do is done, not a fucking thing left out not one..
Dez Ripped It... I Was Feelin All Of It. You Came In Depth Unlike Mic King.. And The Whole Tupac Theme Of His Verse Didn't Catch My Attention. Dez Had A Nice Rhyme Scheme And Everything Was Seemingly On Point.
Vote Dez.
Dezyir wins
dezyir(2-0)
mic king (1-1)