How does one really define sadness..in a manner so truly sincere..?
By measure of all of one's the recently had-stress..or sobbing and shedding a tear?
One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn..
Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return..
So we've learned.......
A weight on my heart, strategically placed, so it seems to have stopped it from beating..
With my core growing sore, too hurtful to ignore, sometimes its a struggle just breathing.
Such an overwhelming feeling, showing no signs of healing, seemingly an everlasting suffer..
So extremely detrimental, not just to my mental; everyday things increasingly get tougher.
I try to stay sleeping as late as I can, for then i'm unconscious to despair..
unaware, of your absence, still stuck in a dream..at least I can see your face there.
For when Im awake, every scene causes ache, and fore holds some long lost sentiment..
which reminds me of you, and the love i once knew, and erodes my heart like sediment.
But the nights are the worst, for there in the darkness, your missing is made the most evident..
I think of where you are, but more so where you aren't, and it only inclines my impediment.
and tears fall until ive unknowingly drifted to a state of solemn full slumber..
wet tissues in hand, and issues at grand, i awake to a heart even number.
And in the quiet of the eve, i silently grieve; fight to keep my deep cries under wraps..
But alone, and unknown, I dont quiet my hearts tone; unrestrained, I've even collapsed,
dropping everything, falling in the middle of the floor, to bawl like a child in a tantrum..
Letting all that I'm feeling release then and there; the screaming and sobbing, my anthem.
From a place deep inside, a million tears cried, all the heartache that I had concealed,
so abruptly revealed that a soundproof booth, sealed, could no sooner my deafening sobs shield.
Almost wishing you removed of my memory and heart, but i know soon enough i'd regret to..
But I cant help but think how easily i'd forget you, or unmiss you.. if i'd never met you........
One thing clear, it's a cycle, a rotary heart: where emotions switch off and take turn,
Like sun after any rain, joy after any pain is soon to make its return.
But its been raining a while now, and still my Sun isnt near,
Thus i fear, that my happiness will not reapper..and my symptoms are much more severe..
I suffer from something far more intense, which causes, inside me, this burning..
For something so vital has escaped my grasp, and indeed may not be returning..
.
.
.
The loss of a soul mate, a best friend, a lover..
A sadness with a cure i've yet to uncover.
©2003 DaGyrlRemarqabL
All rights reserved.
Ah..easily one of the least favorite pieces I've ever written..maybe because i was so extremely miserable when I wrote it. More for therapy than anything else....Thanks to anyone who took the time....
