Hard and Harsh

whats wrong with the moment i just took a couple pills//
im aggresive as a fuck,and i got money from the shops tills//
i went for the kill and came with more than what i bargaind for//
a squad of cops runin for me from the back of the shoppin store//
from the core of the earth,from hell this MC's name rings a bell//
Bigg E Z the one whos spent most of his life inside a jail cell//
this tale tells of how i tried so hard but coudnt fail//
this life felt like i was pressured by lil pins and 9 inch nails//
straight out on bail,i dabble P.C.P to help and strengthen me//
a murder happens,the cops arrests before the caller mentions me//
do i attract attention bee,or is it the fact im popularly known//
as the grimey thug whos high on drugs and always out of his zone//
i want to be home,left allone,but dont leave if i got the chrome//
tomorow ya might come and meet me,to ur supprized youd see my head blown//
i dont like to moan bout diffirences but being diffirent is always hard//
i remember at school i was the hood boy who always got treated as the retard//
i used to hit hard and be harsh, i used a pencil to stabb the bullys ass//
he cudnt sit in school at mornings and when we had to praye at teachers mornin mass//
whos laughin last,well it aint me cuz im still hustlin,thuggin late//
all of us know if were all ghetto all our lives is in the hands of fate//
ohhh aint life greate,i sit and wonder,would stevie see the bad hes done//
well i dont think he would cuz stevie has always obided by his gun//

Did Any Of This Happen Or Are You Just Tring To Be "Gangsta"?

As For The joint Itself, Flow Was O.k, Went pretty Smooth For MOst Of It, You have Good Rhyming Capabilities, The Words Seemed To All be IN The Right PLace, You Know?

You Could Do With Expaning The vocab, But You Had Good Imagary, I Really felt This Shit Is Some PLaces! : remember at school i was the hood boy who always got treated as the retard// That Line Was Pretty Tight.

Overall: 7/10, Could Have Been Better, IfThis Really Happened To You Or Somebody You can relate To, Then I'd Give It A 8/10..

Keep Improvin You Wordlpay And Vocab :)

your flow was aiight......up ya vocab a lil bit......overall ya rhyme was good.....i'm feelin dis because it has dat gangsta mentality and it seems like summin my nicca would spit

yeah all that shits tru....day to day thing....i reckon my vocab is aight.....but not in that 1....if ya know what i mean.....i didnt think this drop would get 7/10...it was a rush job...but thanx...both of ya...!! ya got the feeling i was giving....any more ppl....??

yo yo .......any feedback.....ill return tha favour....??

yo....more feed back pleas...!!

up ur vocab & jus keep at it nice 1

yo any more feed back...??

Not bad at all my man, flow was straight, nice vocab, good little story, a little too short to develop into something deeper but good none the less bro, get at mine "Tickling Sloths" lol

Yeah i agree with everyone else up ya vocab and come strong it would make your piece way better and nice liked it anyway though 1..

anymore ppl...??

well, this wasn't at all bad other than the fact that the whole "look at me, I'm gankstuh" shit is played.
If it actually happened, then that's your buisness, but it still doesn't make for very good writing anymore.
It might be nice in audio though. My favourite lines were:

Quote:

---

i dont like to moan bout diffirences but being diffirent is always hard//
i remember at school i was the hood boy who always got treated as the retard//

whos laughin last,well it aint me cuz im still hustlin,thuggin late//
all of us know if were all ghetto all our lives is in the hands of fate//

---

those still shone through. The very last one quote was the best in the piece.
One

thanx...anymore

i think this was a great effort you didnt use full thought for the verse and that is good cause thyis just internet but you used enough and this was a very good read.canmt waite to see more

lol... I doubt ne-of that's true... but ne-way, it doesn't deserve a 7/10, maybe a 5.. the flow was choppy, vocab was minimal, and I wasn't feelin' the fake gangsta topic... lol.. 1

Shiznit's Thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>average...didnt really put much in it but like what u sayin that it was a quick rush that made think that its hard to put in more when its done fast..u used plain words that somehow connects with the whole concept thing but nothing else more to say about that..it would even be better tho if u put more but either way its fine


FLOW

>not bad...u can get on with it as u read from top to bottom..it was edgy but smooth from the middle to end...


WORDPLAY

>can work on it...not enough metas or multis to begin with but some words were really creative that made the piece stood out..


CONTENT

>hmmm...sounds familiar to me cuz of the whole i-did-something-that-made-me-ran-from-the-cops-and-caught-me-in-jail kinda shit....but like what evryone was sayin...if this either based on ur self or whoever...either way it was written aggressively..nicely done

Best Part:

"i want to be home,left allone,but dont leave if i got the chrome//
tomorow ya might come and meet me,to ur supprized youd see my head blown//"

^^^u can actually felt the whole slighty emotional aspect of this piece..props for that!

OVERALL:

(i dont usually rate pieces ..wanna know why?? uhhhh cuz i just dont!)

well...i liked it...not that all great but it has depth on the true to life part and imagery was good...

drop more!