the straw that broke the camel's back

pressure on my cranium, this life keeps getting to me,
insanity loves me, but it can't accept me, it cant see/
jabbed it's eyes out with a fountain pen, 4 senses left,
or maybe right, or wrong, all I can know is this stress/
throbbing aches, my heartbeat, it won't leave me alone,
pulsing, ever pulsing. seeds of my demise being sown/
strong wits, and fake fits, embrace myself, I take hits,
mind slow, my mind goes, hate myself, my weak flows/
pile another one on, the weight I bear doesn't phase me,
fresh baked loaves of verbs, I never cease to amaze thee/

pressure digging deep, agony filling my cerebral capacity,
trying to make it all stop, scrambled with feeble audacity/
I need to mentally excrete, to swirl my skull with a flush,
sentencing myself to eternal paralysis, why must I rush?/
striving for relief, you keep piling stresses onto my plate,
capturing the thief, I break my back with colossal weight/
marked words, never been heard, fuck you, I create verbs,
fight back, I cannot sidetrack, too much, keep talking wack/
add straw after straw, they’re numerous, they make me falter,
I struggle with the bit in my mouth, cannot loosen this halter/

breaking loose from you hold, you attempted to betray me,
talking to angels, their divinity’s chaos confesses I must be/
trading epic tales for black feathers in my crown of thorns,
was thirty silver pieces the price for your ability to mourn?/
the straws grow into a mountain, with my soul at the peak,
bearing the weight on my back, we all grow old and weak/
another one is added to my burden, not a fraction of a pound,
my mind collapses and my soul burns, in hell it will resound/
Beelzebub can laugh at me, Jesus spouts curses at my anger,
stranger sights, they have been seen, gnashing teeth, I fang her/
please my Lord, take me back, to my former needy nonchalance,
the straw that broke the camel’s back, foggy about what she wants/

as you can see, I'm back to the abstract shit....this was about stress for those who couldn't tell. I need to start having a message about stuff.
Peace

ooooooooooo This piece was Ill..........Content was on fire........wordplay was Blazing...................I liked this piece............Ill

uppin for feedback

Agreed..........This shit right here is colosal.........very very nice drop!

Thanks for the feedback on my piece............you did yourself proud on this one right here and you're right bout being real........I hate when some of these heads just start babbling and spitting some bullshit...............most of which they took from someone else's drop and flipped it a lil bit to make it sound original! I'll keep an eye on your drops from now on........Peace

eyo....that was hott...go check out my shit...."Make them Listen..."

I'd really like to know what people think of this, because I'm a slave to your comments. I am a conformist whore. reply before I strangle you all with your own intestines.

...this concludes another edition of empty threads and bullshit. I'm Briant Gumble

I think that your shit is real ill....thats it....your flow and content and wordplay and everything is on....its hott....Keep it up....

shit I'm tired of gettin slept on...I need some replys here

Yo, understatement..................i already hit you up with some replies...........just curious if you wanna battle...............just some competition.............new to this shit so you'd have to set it up and let me know where to drop! Peace

yeah, sure dude
just pm me with your rules and I'll set it up
uppin for NEW replies on this

I need to mentally excrete, to swirl my skull with a flush,
sentencing myself to eternal paralysis, why must I rush?/

Thats an ill line dawg...quotable shit..

i was feeling this...great wordplay..

I agree great wordplay...ill topics....I'd like to see more of your stuff...uppin

was an excellent peice...very nicely written,nice flow,good bar length,topic,was all ill....i felt you on this alot,the pressure onthe cranium,should i got left,right or wrong,that was an ill use of th ewords....whats a beezlebub?...liked how you mentioned the straws keep on mounting on you,capture the theif

bismillah

thanks for the feedback atetrack, havn't seen anything from you in a while.
Beelzebub is one of the devil's many names, I just happen to like this one and Scaramus(i think thats what it is) more than lucy and satan.
Peace

that was an ill rhyme bro.
wicked flow wicked vocab
seriously deep topic.
really well done
keep it up

thanks B-red
I'd just like to hear about stuff I can improve, not what I did well lol.
Uppin

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