10 lines
due tonight
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10 lines
due tonight
due in hlf hr?
check jus post it as soon as you can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...523/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...300/index.html
Look hoe, your style has BEEN POOPY...i rly mean FECES. Im Hurlin and it Sucks!!
But Spoonz has entered the Buildin!!! all we need now is your Girlfriend and a Cup.
You ain't a Thorn in my Side but Whore you can Try. Your Pussy Smells the Grossest.
And I heard this Site SMASHED Flowers so many times her Hammock looks like a Bed of Roses
For Five Dollars, you can see this Bitch SCREAM like your Favorite Operas.
Nickels and Pennies Too, she'll Take ur Copper.
Youre So Ugly I wish U and Britney Murphy Traded Doctors.
This is a Rap Forum and your a chick. I hope you can Dance or can Sing!
Good thing Youre from Jupiter...cuz thats your only Chance for a Ring.
You'll never Wed, be a Wife, or Win. Youre Alphabet should start Erasing the "W".
and New Years is approaching fast. My resolution is to forget Waking up Next to You
this kid stays in a mouth an i dont think this Fight fare
an Charlie gets brought in to handlin beef but As the silverware!
I fight dirty kid an at the end of this its yo body as the closer
only Spin on good clean fun he knows of..
..is cycles through the diswasher!
Im sick kid an its time that this newb learn (s)
an as many L's you bout to take....
Every Move he make would be a left turn!
im un-shook by the timing of this fake crook
easy to say that this battle got Ugly...
But well jus be decribin how ya Structure looks!
you too average bitch an ya flows to slow for this race
he got the insight of a clean punch...
.........at point Blank Fist to the face!
10
up1
up2
*Sigh* Here We Go Again With Another She-Man Woman Hater L0L
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BREAKDOWN
Look hoe, your style has BEEN POOPY...i rly mean FECES. Im Hurlin and it Sucks!!
But Spoonz has entered the Buildin!!! all we need now is your Girlfriend and a Cup.
Set-Up Line Is Horrible, Punchline, Honestly? Was Pretty Funny. Thought It Was Aiight In A Sense Of Humor But Yet Weak In Another Sense
You ain't a Thorn in my Side but Whore you can Try. Your Pussy Smells the Grossest.
And I heard this Site SMASHED Flowers so many times her Hammock looks like a Bed of Roses
Not Too Bad, Execution Sucked Here As Well. Got The Concept, Coulda Worked Better With The Right Wording
For Five Dollars, you can see this Bitch SCREAM like your Favorite Operas.
Nickels and Pennies Too, she'll Take ur Copper.
Youre So Ugly I wish U and Britney Murphy Traded Doctors.
No Way Man...Makes No Sense At All, She's Ugly So You Wish She Traded Doctors With Alyse? How Does That Register In Your Head?
This is a Rap Forum and your a chick. I hope you can Dance or can Sing!
Good thing Youre from Jupiter...cuz thats your only Chance for a Ring.
I'm Sure Saturn Was The Planet With Rings, So Regardless, False Facts Brought The Punch Down..
You'll never Wed, be a Wife, or Win. Youre Alphabet should start Erasing the "W".
and New Years is approaching fast. My resolution is to forget Waking up Next
to You
Negative..Also Didnt Make Sense And Didnt Really Have A Type Of Alliteration To It To Make It Considered A Punch Or Any Type Of Hit
vs
this kid stays in a mouth an i dont think this Fight fare
an Charlie gets brought in to handlin beef but As the silverware!
Ok First Line Coulda Been Worded Better, But Overall, Meh Punch...Saw That One Coming Though
I fight dirty kid an at the end of this its yo body as the closer
only Spin on good clean fun he knows of..
..is cycles through the diswasher!
L0L Nice Play Here..Creative
Im sick kid an its time that this newb learn (s)
an as many L's you bout to take....
Every Move he make would be a left turn!
Meh-ish, Not Too Bad Though, I Get The Idea Here...However Execution Lacked
im un-shook by the timing of this fake crook
easy to say that this battle got Ugly...
But well jus be decribin how ya Structure looks!
Ok At Best
you too average bitch an ya flows to slow for this race
he got the insight of a clean punch...
.........at point Blank Fist to the face!
Ok..Actually Thought You Were Going At His Name Again With The "CLEAN" Punch Thing...But Aiight
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Alyse Is The Clear Winner. Her Execution And Set-Ups Were More Clear And Direct Than Spoonz. He Had That 2 Girls 1 Cup Line Which Wasnt All Great, However That Was His Only Good Bar. Neither Were As Witty But Alyse's Misses Werent All Too Bad And Were At Least Put Together Far Better Than Her Opponents. Good Shit Girl.
v/ Alyse
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RTF On This Battle
This battle didn't really make sense on both of your verses, seems like you wrote bars with out trying to make then connect like a story,
Anyway.. here goes
Alyse- Your verses were very well written, you use vocabulary very well like a poet. I think you tried to do a little to much word play and metaphorical kind of things, and forgot to set up your punches right, and because of this your flow was a bit choppy in my opinion you have good multies though
I can't reallly quote anything i see worth quoting
Spoonz- you got good flow you need to take more time and word it better and get more complex more creative, mix that with punches, don't just send wild punches you'll never land them.
all in all like i said i think both of you tried too much without going nowhere really, like a big money movie with no plot
but if i could vote alyse would have to get mine! Only because she executed her lines a bit better
No hate spoonz
wtf jupiter has a lotta rings
lol...next site
nothing
vs
Im sick kid an its time that this newb learn (s)
an as many L's you bout to take....
Every Move he make would be a left turn!
meh pretty weak battle charlie fix ya structure dont have those big spaces in between ya lines like that looks herbish..anyway get more creative i didnt really see anything witty from u....get more agressive and personal..the onlyone line that had potential even though I've been hearin the concept all dam week was that brittany murhpy onethat was the only line that had potentila no hate but elavate..alyse i've seen a lot better one of your weaker verse but more than enough to take the win...good to see you battling everyday fo real good shit.....u didnt really have nothin outstanding u to couldve gotten more creative that silverware line couldve been a lot better u be havin the concepts but u jus needa word on how to deliver them into where they'll have a good sting..anyway v/flowers no hate
ya hit up my battle vs clairvoyant honestly plz
I Re-Read My Breakdown And Excuse My Part, My Mistake But In Reference To That Again, I Meant False Facts Of The Last Bar. I Read Up As I Was Going Down. I Meant As Far As What Did The Doctor Had Anything To Do With Alyse Being Ugly Or Even Brittany Murphy For That Matter Of Mentioning Her? That Was An Unnecessary Fact However. Now For The RING Bar, I Didnt Quite Quote That Properly, I Was In A Hurry, So Here You Go:Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Spoonz
Your Execution Didnt Present That Punch Properly, I Got The Concept However You Didnt Deliver It With The Right Wording To Make The Bar Hurt As Hard As You Wanted It To. It Had Potential.
Me Saying All This Doesnt Change My Vote. But There You Go So You Have A Clear Understanding That I Made A Mistake.
up3
up 4
up5
nothing
vs
im un-shook by the timing of this fake crook
easy to say that this battle got Ugly...
But well jus be decribin how ya Structure looks!
you too average bitch an ya flows to slow for this race
he got the insight of a clean punch...
.........at point Blank Fist to the face!
bar for bar 2-0 AF
spoonz you had some ok stuff but avg at best and your structure hurt your flow
you had ok concepts but your punch didnt hit as hard AF did
elevate and work on your structure and you got it man
no hate
my vote=AF
up 6
Im sick kid an its time that this newb learn (s)
an as many L's you bout to take....
Every Move he make would be a left turn!
vs
This is a Rap Forum and your a chick. I hope you can Dance or can Sing!
Good thing Youre from Jupiter...cuz thats your only Chance for a Ring.
i think alyse barely edged this with better punch attempts
[b]vote: alyse{/b]
Charlie, u had some funny shit going on in your verse & i think u wuda taken this battle if Alyse Flowers had come any weaker but her verse was pretty tuff bro!
dat 2 girls 1 cup shit was delivered badly & coulda been a lot betta & jus so u no, Saturn IS da 1 wit da rings bro, BUT jupiters surface looks like it's covered in rings so i guess ur punch still stands ... i google imaged it lol
Alyse, ur openin bars were killer
& 4 me they smashed the best bars dat charlie bought out (imo the new years an the jupiter bars)Quote:
this kid stays in a mouth an i dont think this Fight fare
an Charlie gets brought in to handlin beef but As the silverware!
I fight dirty kid an at the end of this its yo body as the closer
only Spin on good clean fun he knows of..
..is cycles through the diswasher!
charlie bro u got a gd sense of humor, can see dat from da bars u used but u gotta work on ur structure bro
my vote don't count yet, i'd go AF if it did but there's my feed
GL2 u both!
last up7 need to close
yo, i can poll my votes now so dis is CLOSED!
check da links in my sig PLZZ, waitin on votes an feed like 4eva! lol
LOL! u need 100, shit
sorry 4 free postin but i take wat i jus said back
dis battle is OPEN! lol
First off.... charlie you were funny(barely) at times but you weren't really bringing any fire to the field whatsoever. I wanna point out some bars and punches that were delivered badly, but then I'd have to post your whole verse. Maybe it's me(I'm sure you think so) but you didn't really bring anything into this match. That whole jupiter ring thing is the worst rhymes you could of worded, even if you worded it differently it wouldn't really make a strong hit you should've tossed that out for something better.
Alyse, you came harder then charlie, but I was definitely un-impressed by your verse. It's nowhere near your best at all. Your opener though was the best out of it and the second bar was an ok follow up but then it just fell on a low streak. The left turn part though it (to me at least) wasn't as strong as it could of been worded differently, but it still stood out.
Charlie work on your consistency, wordplay and nameplay. You got more of an idea then I do so you definitely on the right track to winning a match sometime soon.
Alyse your consistency was lacking in this verse, you won, but not by much since charlie was ill prepared to battle you. Can't tell you anymore that you don't already both know. Except...
V/ Alyse