To the Beat of Her Drum [Bruklor and King]

To the Beat of Her Drum
Written by Bruklor and King



Clicking refresh on the contemporary unavailable,
the cursors trail lags, becoming more unbearable.
I stare endlessly at your trees, until a leaf trails down,
freeing the speech of the new king adorning a crown.
Constantly flustered by the lack-luster Uncle Fester,
agony sings inside, waiting for adrenaline of alka seltzer.

I read her story for an inspiration boost.

Lord's given me the gift to lift the barriers within,
the blockade's just a charade for a merrier mission.
Like an apple being picked, pealing the skin as I sit,
next to a woman who vents about burden and shit.
A reincarnation of Allen Poe, I let the talent flow,
and so the flowers bloom; as they laugh and grow.
I get an idea after idea and content after content,
blew away the fog and now God blesses me with logic.

She blew away my fog, and now I can see!

Then your alkali endorphins spark me into Malachi,
like live dolphins swim to the backs of my eyes.
I become set in stone from the grace of your voice,
the whispers turn to kisses that race to your joys.
Until I'm completely stamped with affection,
and I write another letter, in your suspension.
Whenever things took a turn towards the worse,
your words always managed to avoid the curbs.
Joy riding, instead of centering inside the curse,
my majesty can be found inside of tragedy.
You're the imagination that deafens me!

It was like a miracle, when she spoke through God.

I've written about pirate ships and sung about violent kids,
published so many stories that my glory's just a silent hymn.
If I read a poem, my readers get quiet, and then they applaud,
but everything changed when my brain would fade and rot.
It's just like an on/off switch, showing people's true intent,
they love your ability, but you’re not anything to them.
You say my imagination deafens you, well, isn't that the truth?
Because without my word use, you'd just listen to what's cool.

Unplug your ears son,
and breathe in the poetry.
Welcome the ideas.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...095/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...028/index.html

Well, at least we thought it was nice King.

And thats alllll that counts.

Word up, but I like feedback and HOF too. ;)

Sup hoes? it's a damn shame that this is getting slept on, it's a fresh piece. I don't know who wrote which parts, but it doesn't matter really...there was some dope imagery in this piece, like that bit when it talks about the dolhpins swimming to the back of your eyes, that was nice. I was really impressed with the ability to have such a poetic piece, with great imagery and emotion, and still keep the flow going steady, that's a hard thing to do, so props on that. Your rhyming was cool, there weren't really any huge problems with that, it was quite an easy read, and it was entertaining, which is probably the most important thing when reading a piece. There could have been a wider range of vocab in some places, just to freshen it up a bit more, but it was cool, and it's nice to see some people still drop dope pieces, and care about this forum...this shit was a real pleasure to read my dude's...keep writing, and I'll keep reading :)

I'ma nominate this

Dopeness, oh, and I'm the Italic parts. :love:

:2thumb:

A sole person feeds?

what the fuck at people sleepin.......oh wait its new school OM and its riddled with worthless newbs who dont understand anything other than bang bang fake gangsta internet shit....what ever....ANYWAY........dope piece..

bruklor-your verses were the most polished to me..all verses were ill and very well written...but yours seemed more refined..flowed so smoothly.loved the wordplay...your usage of vocab is always ill and brings out your pieces....multis were on point..lots of metaphors...great imagery..i just liked your verses all around.no complaints.

king-your droppin left and write..glad to see some dope heads are tryin to revive OM slowly..these noobs murdered OM for a few months..anyways both of your verses were ill...i liked your last verse more than your first one...but they both were ill..probably just personal preference cause they both came hard...your choice of wording and vocab helped for the second..i thought your verses werent as good as bruklors..but his didnt overshadow yours at all..you both accentuated each others verses well and it made for a very sick collab...i enjoy reading collabs from polished writers..your multis were nice your imagery was great..all in all a great collab..keep droppin dope form both of you..hit up my new OM if you havent..its in my sig.~1~

I learned from the best. ;)


Thanks dude.

Bump.

i saw a lot of this as a plea for inspiration and conceptual sparks from a crumblin wall of writer's block. All the references to natural processes sort of reminded me of the feeling of wanting to write but the words to express just weren't there yet .. had to wait for the right moment in time, until naturally the words and ideas arrived. circumstances, internal and external have to perfectly resonate sometimes. almost like watching a tree, waiting for leaves to fall on their own. these ideas that are "contemporarily unavailable" need to wait in order to break the "barrier within", or "blow the fog away"

which i thought were great ways to word it. hence quoted.

Quote:

---

Then your alkali endorphins spark me into Malachi,

---

that was dope.

when the inspiration for an art form appears, its like salvation. the same kind of feeling a beautiful woman can give a lonely man.

Quote:

---

I've written about pirate ships and sung about violent kids,
published so many stories that my glory's just a silent hymn.
If I read a poem, my readers get quiet, and then they applaud,
but everything changed when my brain would fade and rot.
It's just like an on/off switch, showing people's true intent,
they love your ability, but you’re not anything to them.

---

feel you on this. hundred percent. after years of dropping writtens, poems, stories, etc .. you come to expect what kind of feedback and praise you'll receive for your work. it becomes dust in the wind, so to say .. it loses it's effect altogether. and when the flow of work stops, there's no one to praise you except yourself. that's when motivation gets harder to grasp.

real interesting piece guys. i duno if anything i just said was what yall were tryin to do writin this .. but it just had me thinkin about all that shit. definitely a solid drop. not too complex, but it wasn't necesary - had some tight lines individually and the flow never fell off ..

keep doin it

1

Thanks, and that's basically what we were trying to do. :)

That's for the replies. Appreciate it. And I'm glad how much everyone enjoyed this. Blacketh, that was definitely the sentiment we were going for, so thank you for saying what you did... Glad that it conveyed in that manner.

Thanks Ya'll!

i found this to be an amazing piece, im not sure if i'm at the level where i can give a feed that does justice to it lol. i liked the rhymes, and thought that they kept the flow great and smoothly polished. the vocab was nicely varied - nothing extremely amazing, but a good enough variation to keep it from sounding plain. liked the slew of similes, kept it poetic (while you also managed to maintain a smooth flow at the same time, that was cool).

"Whenever things took a turn towards the worse,
your words always managed to avoid the curbs."
this couplet stood out to me, not sure why - maybe a combination of the rhymes and simple emotion expressed here.

"I've written about pirate ships and sung about violent kids,
published so many stories that my glory's just a silent hymn.
If I read a poem, my readers get quiet, and then they applaud,
but everything changed when my brain would fade and rot.
It's just like an on/off switch, showing people's true intent,
they love your ability, but you’re not anything to them."
i loved this part, thought it was the 'truest' part of the song, seemed to come straight from the heart.

anyways, i love reading stuff like this, and it can only have a positive impact on my own fledgling writing lol. keep it up :)

thanks. up

amazing drop very extensive use of vocabulary most impressive display i might add at that vivid and blantant emotion through word choice from both individuals with no lackluster for imagry as filler highly entertained well written on a compositional level well worthy of its nomination this is proof that the om movement is evolving and progressing youve come along way bell and burk glad to have afresh old face around still wordperfect bound props

This is some dope shit right here, very original.

Quote:

---

I've written about pirate ships and sung about violent kids,
published so many stories that my glory's just a silent hymn.
If I read a poem, my readers get quiet, and then they applaud,
but everything changed when my brain would fade and rot.
It's just like an on/off switch, showing people's true intent,
they love your ability, but you’re not anything to them.
You say my imagination deafens you, well, isn't that the truth?
Because without my word use, you'd just listen to what's cool.

---

This is tight man. The flow is great, real deep shit also, felt every word. Fantatstic use of your vocabulary skills, every line rolls of the tongue and sounds perfect.

I'm new to this board and this is one of the first few pieces I've read so far... if they all like this, I'll be sticking around a little longer.

Peace guys, keep it up ye, gimmie a shout if you put this to audio won't you?

thanks gents.

Fuck, bump one last time before the month's over!

wow guys.. this was dope as fuck. dunno. my favorite piece out of the 4 I've given feedback on so far haha.. the 2nd stanza was my favorite, not sure who wrote what but that one just rolled off my fuckin tounge.. and that beginning to the third was just dope as hell, had some deep meaning/words all in this piece... good topic to say the least. I kind've have the feeling that the italics were dagel? if so then god damn, start writing like this more often because this is dope.. that last stanza has such an impact on the piece which really suprised me, because usually (if I'm right and the italics are in fact dagel) you can't really end pieces THIS WELL half the time.. and this ended perfectly in my eyes... as I said, good message, great writing... definitely gonna push for this one to get HoF... good work again, ladies.

Thanks, and yeah...the italics are me. :)