Kiss The Hand That Stones You

Restricted:

"Good is an expression but true evil breeds from within.."

"Concrete pathways paved gateways to a sealevel hell
This governments the devil and this city's the cell
Patronage is hatred when political funds raise to fail
Stuck in a cival debt under the vision of cynical bail
Mechanics of trust, religions of caults race ridden
Behind this black wall of a heart stays my face hidden
Its..
A soul blessed transversed to an undersieged stress
Hate is love as love hates my currently seized mess
I pray in faith as these words bleed through my veins
Forgivness to be given written in a murderous range
Gave death as death took in the same versatile phase
Raped the life of youth through this druged up maze
I'm..
Disrupted in pain vivid spinal liquid injected in vane
A crazed rage that erased the neurons through thy brain
Memory stains..of sedated hated visions engraved
An addiction of slated depictions sectionly enslaved
In..
Permanetly deprived minds revived times long ago
That rewinds intwined fine finds of this devine rogue
The blind, open and exposed..irrelevant slavesmenship
So how can I love?When those loved enstrange this shit

Constance:
”Shit I lived life from both ends of the pipe”

Ripe crystal rock cooked powder coke placed
in my pipe, it's time for me to kiss under
the mistletoe. I glared at the graffiti'd
wall, mesmerized by contaminating smoke
welcoming came inside my body, to converse
with my soul and spirit. Proposition was
to possess all of my character and moral values
that came close or near it. [I couldn't possibly
pass this up] With hostility I craved a rush
It couldn't be touched nor described and
a vibe beyond normal human comprehension,
not to mention the craving for this drug has
such a euphoric possession. It goes past
boundaries set by the natural laws for living.
I’m living free forever while being in complete
contrast with each other euphoria or possession.
Aggregation of anxiety during the chase With
out pace just to get just a small piece of crack?
Dam that’s whack!, yet it's so insane and so intense.
Followed by immense pain and depression hollowed
so deep, famo even you could kill! still I know
of not one treatment center, pill or method of
help for an addict inflicted with this addiction.
Under constriction I bare a burden so bold and
heavy only the lord can carry. I refuse to be the
new and alternative or out of the ordinary go
against the conventional insurance backed
facilities that depend on failure to overcome
the blues from this blackened substance that
blood run deep like envy, yet In the end G I'm
just another product of the enemy

Lost Souls...

Feedback Welcome.

Will return the favor with honest critique. Don't sleep.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325857
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325772

Since this is finally reopened, uppin this so it gets seen.

Word.

fuck i just typed long ass feed and then hit backspace. well here's it again, short and sweet.

restricted - started off well but it seemed to die down towards the end. the last few lines seemed like they were just "there", not really much substance in them. the flow was pretty good, though. and for the most part the imagery and the content was there. good writing.

constance - this was more poetry than anything in my opinion. it wasn't bat at all, but you get too caught up in vocab. also, the way you wrote it make it seem like a ramble. that turns a lot of people off. i had to really read into it to like it, wasnt a smooth read. but when i got done it was actually pretty good. try to make more fluid though.

rrated this shit was nice on you perspective man i mean the imagery and emotion were your strong points dude with a nice structure to make it perty lol, the imagery was very vivid and gave me a great visual on your take to the topic, contance you came good also with a different formate and more of a freeverse type shit but the emotion wasnt as good as you imagery was but yet it was decent the imagery and wording were your strong points i think, anyways overall you both meshed well together in this topical to make it come out solid, restricted damn dude ive gotten down with you for 3 years almost 4 and damn i miss reading these topicals of yours and your wicked shreddage on kids in text lol welcome back on the scene you grizzly bear,btw the concept wasnt as original but in your own words and story to tell it was good i mean drugs are the number one cause of deaths in america and we all should continue preaching that.....except to me because ima druggie smoke weed everyday yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....nice drop yall
and nobody should sleep on this its a good read

Yup took me a minute to finally read this, overall i found both parts good.

Restriced: Your verse seemed awkard at one point until i picked up a flow, which i did and then it was easier to read, the message ssemed similar to one of Vortex and my old colabs na mean. Overall it was good, the structure could be presented better though as it makesit easier to read without having to break and then read.

Constance- Another good verse here man- seemed intimidating as a whole big chunk so it took me a couple of minutes to read it through na mean. PLus like your other verses i had to read every line to stay up with the rhymescheme and flow get me.

Overall, both of your verses were good, though restricted came off more like political or social at times and constances came off as a character doing the stuff. Good piece, stay up^.

Word appreciate the feedback so far. My flow might be hard for some but I can recite that shit fluently, it's kinda a fast flow but it's straight.

A soul blessed transverse to an under siege stress
Hate is love as love hates my currently seized mess
pray in faith words began to seep & bind with my veins
Forgiveness to be given written in a murderous range

^^^dopeness

Anyways good job to both of you, this is a dope piece. Restricted, I liked your use of vocab but it seemed kind of unnecessary at times. Your flow and structure were good, and I got a political vibe from your verse. Your imagery and emotion seemed personal which is good. Constance, I like the imagery and emotion in your piece, but your structure kinda threw me off and I couldn't follow the flow very well. I liked the theme and mood of your verse, and you also used vocabulary well. Overall this was a good piece

This was a pretty good collab...

Restricted...I loved your flow...but I was thinking where's the multi's they would've really helped the deliverence of your drop...but you basically covered the emotional part of the drop...

Con....I love how you get your imagery out there with your word choicage...that's the dopest part of your writing..I flet that you kinda lacked on the emotion but everything else was up to par...overall this was good though...you kinda lacked on sticking together with the collab but it still came out pretty nicely...you just added your own touch that's it...

RTF....Restricted...

Bump

restricted - Not bad, i liked it alot at the beggining but towards the end it began to make less and less sence to me. It sounds like you were using words you didnt understand halve the time but when it was coherient it was dope.

constance - Didnt rhyme. The writing was extreamly dope but it sounded more like a story told in def poetry style instead of a flowing OM. I think if it had rhymed it would have impressed me more but it didnt. Just remember that this is Open Mic. Not Poetic Scriptures. Like I said, excellent writing though

^Especially since Constance forgot the last line lmao yo Constance make sure to add it in.

"When those loved enstrange this shit"

Appreciate the feedback, but I promise you I know exactly what the words meant haha

this was long as fuck it made my eyes water and hurt..........but overall i liked both verses i could see the emotion and nice wordplay too...................
i felt that both of you actually tried on this peice....overall i give constance.....7/10 and i give restricted....6.5/10

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by HighEngineChief

restricted - Not bad, i liked it alot at the beggining but towards the end it began to make less and less sence to me. It sounds like you were using words you didnt understand halve the time but when it was coherient it was dope.

constance - Didnt rhyme. The writing was extreamly dope but it sounded more like a story told in def poetry style instead of a flowing OM. I think if it had rhymed it would have impressed me more but it didnt. Just remember that this is Open Mic. Not Poetic Scriptures. Like I said, excellent writing though

---

Didn't rhyme? would you care to explain your reasoning?

^I don't think these people know what real topical is, we need to start dropping some REAL hard shit so they know what's good.

i like this its was nice ya structure is wut made it ill when you set up ya lines that way it makes me wanna read it nice piece dude

^True @ restricted and this was a collab dude, I didn't write all of this...

yea i just read it agian to concept it better this gotta go HOF

Bump