Yours with all my heart

To, Her

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/2678/69417410dl5.jpg
Strumming upon a plaintive mood to match the tune
carving crescent moons-paper cuts scratch the boon
which throbs- fragile tunnels filled with rushing oceans
of sweet life, join in a central reservoir pumping motions
to regulate an army in cells, red & white, muscle gels
to bone beginning tussles grown out of inner hells
which I release in melodious compositions streaming
aloud teeming with the beaming light, vision gleaming
at the height to which I see, at the depth to which I be
at the intricacy of his creativity & tunes of her misery…
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/637/26346982nf4.jpg
I blindly follow paths
baths of sadness blast
to pasts of mourning
last memories adjourning
to free me to breathe
a breath which seethed
with intoxicative remedies
which in turn made my
….melodies
tunes of compassion
sung with a flawed passion
it was all an act, a drama
ironic the time for karma
to play it’s hand & unleash
it’s grand plan made a beast
which served as a minion
to my mental dominions
so now I strum elastic bands
racked with painful glands
constantly under pressure
to submit to a lesser
pleasure……..
But what do I say
…except
Just let me sing this day
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/9825/39037280pf7.jpg
Here lies dormant wishes formant in their speech
yet hollow they speak, shallow after deaths reach
which streaked my hands bloody red, in dread
to be caught red handed- I fled not thinking instead
of running I should stop, mind over matter works
but the ecstasy of peaking terror has it’s perks
a heightened bass drum, with taps from the dancers
breathing hard, mutely making a dance of necromancers
It’s to her, not to any other I had given this heart
How disloyal- my heart had its own ideas for a start
it bided it’s time, making me think all is great
then attacked me, leaving me still- mouth agape
http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/1359/72995271na7.jpg

Yours with all my heart,
though my heart attacks
….Me

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...18#post5520118
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326955

Yup.

Bumpy Knuckles.

Excellence....I loved yo flow in this one...especially the middle verse...flow seemed to really pick up there...while you always provide some of the best imagery...this piece had an edgy feel to it..edgy in a good way....I loved it and thought this was a very good read..overall dopeness....and just keep at it Baron...4-sho..

fav lines..

Quote:

---

I blindly follow paths
baths of sadness blast
to pasts of mourning
last memories adjourning
to free me to breathe
a breath which seethed
with intoxicative remedies
which in turn made my
….melodies

---

Thanks.

the rest had some good poetic imagery within the lines......flow seemed stable



but this whole section seemed outstanding to Me-


I blindly follow paths
baths of sadness blast
to pasts of mourning
last memories adjourning
to free me to breathe
a breath which seethed
with intoxicative remedies
which in turn made my
….melodies
tunes of compassion
sung with a flawed passion
it was all an act, a drama
ironic the time for karma
to play it’s hand & unleash
it’s grand plan made a beast
which served as a minion
to my mental dominions
so now I strum elastic bands
racked with painful glands
constantly under pressure
to submit to a lesser
pleasure……..


i mean this section had plenty of emotion,plenty of high vocab usage without going over the top.........flow went wild .rhymes just seemed to flow in and out.........

one thing I would of edited was=
it’s grand plan made a beast

to

it’s grand plan man-made a beast


but yeah this piece had much deepness and an entertaining flow and vocab was coo

so the piece all in all was top - shotter


check out my piece on the page if you get time

likkle bit more

thanks..i'll check your up tommorow aight.

i wish i could put down what my favorite bar was..but i enjoyed the whole piece together..it didnt lack or fall off anywhere,as usual,went perfect with tha beat,fuck you lucy by atmosphere..tha song happened to be playing on my comp as i read your piece.....i loved tha emotion...tha imagery was amazing.....loved tha vocab and wordplay..tha multis..rhyme scheme..all incorporated alot of complexity.....keep droppin tha hottness...would you critique my piece...~1~

Yup thanks, i'll get yours later on man

this was incredible, yo. exspecially this.....


I blindly follow paths
baths of sadness blast
to pasts of mourning
last memories adjourning
to free me to breathe
a breath which seethed
with intoxicative remedies
which in turn made my
….melodies
tunes of compassion
sung with a flawed passion
it was all an act, a drama
ironic the time for karma
to play it’s hand & unleash
it’s grand plan made a beast
which served as a minion
to my mental dominions
so now I strum elastic bands
racked with painful glands
constantly under pressure
to submit to a lesser
pleasure……..
But what do I say
…except
Just let me sing this day


and its emotional. the vocab was on point. along with the wordplay. im amazed, actually. i enjoyed the whole piece. but keep dropping this type of shit, seriously. its powerful.

bumpy knuckles.^

anymore for anymore

Love how you made your own images..I think you did it..looks like you did. The story and wordplay was Fantastic. Didnt think it was HoF like the peice I just read by Poeta but it was really good still. Keep it up man, you getting pretty damn good at this shit. Hit up Good Meets Evil Feat J6F in return please.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327589

Baron Raising it another bar with this top notch piece creative with the splitting of the picture transfering from stanza to stanza good flow good rhyme sheme it transitioned well from line to line so easy to read complex in away but the message has clear good piece man props

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327008


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327008

Yup thanks.

overall this was ILL.. your flow stayed consistant. as i was reading i didnt see any errors or lacking. it was a nice and smooth read. and it was very entertaining. you definitely have potential.. well ill just say it like this.. this is the ILLest shit i ended up reading on this board so far.

Quote:

---

I blindly follow paths
baths of sadness blast
to pasts of mourning
last memories adjourning
to free me to breathe
a breath which seethed
with intoxicative remedies
which in turn made my
….melodies
tunes of compassion
sung with a flawed passion
it was all an act, a drama
ironic the time for karma
to play it’s hand & unleash
it’s grand plan made a beast
which served as a minion
to my mental dominions
so now I strum elastic bands
racked with painful glands
constantly under pressure
to submit to a lesser
pleasure……..
But what do I say
…except
Just let me sing this day

---

and this was the part I was feeling the most. it was all ILL, either way. but you know what I mean.. keep the good work up. i hope you drop another one soon. i enjoyed this one..