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house rules....due sat dec 30th. 11:59 pm pst
no exceptions and no extensions...i don't care if you die
topiks-
walk a lonely path
the cold goes too deep
a strange new place
exsistence
memories of the unknown
war is inevitable
prince of darkness
wretched friends make excellent enemies
Check
In.
PRINCE OF DARKNESS
http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs9/300W...etic_pills.jpg
September,6,1999
2:34am
“Sleep Comes With A Cost”
Awaiting the sift of darkness within eye lids to drift me off to places undescribable
within oneself power of mind excused for just moments from reality but unreliable
as the saying goes, “sleep is the cousin of death” but why so magical
words are deep but death not a punishment but a gift and life, an obstacle
tossing and turning Why Oh Why! why not grant me the key to this passage way
leading me closer to you if this the case I must find a faster way
rising from this bed, off to the bathroom in hope of finding something to let me become of sleep
so opening the emergency cabinet taking large amounts, destination almost reached
proceed........... taking things for which I had no need
passed out, hit my head now my destination was complete
Date: Unknown
Time: Unknown
“Things Unknown”
Awoken by a distinct but aggressive voice now vanishing slowly
confused, lost, scared......were am I, know lonely
cold, real cold, dark, surroundings not noticeable but presence were felt
is this a dream for which I’ve been pursuing...................?
if so help me and undo my doings
struggling to awake but just accomplished weakening myself
walking not knowing were but none the less proceeding byself
A PAIN!! SUDDENLY HIT!! NOISES UN BEARABLE!!! FACES UNDESCRIBABLE!!!!
PAIN UNMENTIONABLE!!!! HHHEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!
suddenly silence broke no sound was made, thought in head of undescribable horror
Noticing bloods on the walls, and writings closing my eye tight as I sit in a corner.
July,7,2001
2:34pm
“A Second Chance”
Eyes awoken to fearced sights waiting to be encounter
hesitation to open, eye lids not obeying but forced to counter
amazed by sights I’ve now been envisioning
hospital surroundings giving supplements to one’s in need of provisioning
heads turning in states of shock, words not said gave all the explanations needed
my mine's feeded, with information sent now completed
awoken from a coma, lasting two years but in reality then were was I?
couldn’t be....death was the case, caused by overdose....suicide
....now it’s know heaven isnt the destination when taking your own life
“A Strange New Place”
Welcoming:
“Stranger, come close, this will only cost a small fee
Can you see the tree? Down the path of your eternity,
It welcomes you with open arms, hurry go quickly”
……………………………………………………….
Could this possibly be a mockery of my philosophy?
Deceit grown, trust something I have never known?
Who planted the seed of which this tree had sprouted?
When it happened were all deeds known and accounted?
I have no faith in such trivial pursuits for these roots,
Seems as if it bares camouflage, like city men in suits
A Brief Overview:
We find this man struggling within his own grasp of sanity,
Truth we handed thee, and you laughed, what a calamity.
This is a sanctuary of silence, a place unbeknown by violence,
Nearly unheard of, in this world that’s surrounded by tyrants
Sir you’ve something that weighs your soul immensely,
Listen intensely, for this is not something we can invent see.
It’s made by thee creator, whom which we bow our heads,
We choose you for pureness, we see hearts with infrareds
The masses wouldn’t understand they can’t see the truth,
It looks like our choice was wrong, you declined the proof.
The Ending:
My issues belong in sealed black container,
For a formable retainer, I’m not an entertainer,
But I can make you laugh with enthusiasm
trust none that can’t completely fill the chasm
of my deepest fear. Is this sanctuary is false
I knew these familiar traitors were wrong……
……………….when I lost my pulse.
bump
[1]
up.1
up.2
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[2]
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[3]
Wtf up.3
Lunatick- your drop really had a affect on me as a reader...your wording was good and it flowed well as I read it..you seemed to have a lot more emotion that CrosT did..and also had more imagery and descripitive wording which brings the drop to life....your piece contained everything it needed to get you this vote.
CrosT- not nearly the best I've seen for you..though your's had the better flow overall..it just lacked in areas like imagery and emotion...I could feel you and what it was you were trying to display but not as much as I did...Lunatick's piece...it seemed like I caught the concept you were trying to cover but had to think to hard to do it...you didn't really make it clear to the reader...
v-Lunatick
dat's me....couldn't poll with that name so here it goes..but that's my explanation above...so don't Dq this vote..aiight..
up.4 LINKS WILL BE HIT
Bump
[4]
Up.5 someone anyone...
Bump Lets Get Some Votes
Bumpin Again For Votes
Meh battle
the topic is really played.............but besides that luna I think your structure was on point the wording was alright you weren't that creative the image was meh and I don't think you ended ur verse in the right way........next time juss get a lil creative..
cross ur verse wasn't that good ur structure was decent but besides that nothing else you could've worded things better you weren't really creative neither and you didn't really have image.......no hate but luna takes this one
pl hit this up
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326168
lets see some votes..............................
Bump........once Again This Old Battle Needs Closed
Bumpin....................
....................for Votes
Luna-I liked ur piece...I was able to follow the concept of it to a certain degree..however, the topic choice didn't really grasp me..I do have to admit that your word usage was very nice..structure kind of made the read a bit drawn out...
CrosT-I liked ur piece as well..I think Luna had a slight bit of better word usage than you, but ur wording was to the point and made ur piece more easy to follow...I was able to have more imagery from ur piece than Luna's, so thats why my vote lies w/ u...
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i will have to say lunatik got this, both came good but i was feelin the imagry more, he painted a better picture and was more direct with his approach and linguistics.. he came across more vivd and told the better story.
luna
hit up my battles.
Real hard to call but I got to give it to Crost his drop was just more complex,=, his word usage and imagery was just beter then Luna's, Luna's was straight just thats what it was straight nuthing special Crost just had a better drop NO hate
V//Crost
Decent battle
Lunatick I liked ur pieace alout it had good emotion good wordplay structure was decent you were on point everything was good but I think you could've ended this pieace in a better way overall 8.5/10
Crost-ur pieace was good too it had better wordplay than luna the structure was good I didn't really feel the emotions until towards the ending but you were creative also it wasn't boring to read the whole ending was good I like the wordplay and the whole way you ended it if your whole verse was like that you would've had it overall 8.4/10
luna slightly gets it no hate
hit up sig plz
Bumpin For Votes............................bring Them.............................................. ...........................
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This was a decent battle, I couldn't really choose anything between your verses they were both on the same level i thought, the same amount of precision, they both had good rhymescheme's and rhythm, like i said i could only find one thing that seperated them i thought and that was that CrosT Over's was more complex then his opponents and that made it that little bit better.
Vote/CrosT.
this wer a close battle both verses wer good and flowed quit well but i thought that crost over's verse rhymed a little betta so i gotta vote for ///crost over
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...vs-331856.html
^^^hit up my battle^^^