Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
OMG Engivale...you're so amazing
I love this piece sooooo much..that was a sad, happy story...nice imagery and flow was aastounding. I felt really bad for you, knowing this was a personal thing, it's nice to see a guy's emotional sense too sometimes...very cool stuff here though. I love the way you write....it's a little unorthodox, but it's interesting...loved how you wrote that middle section especially...very deep. Cool piece...very much a favorite from you for me.
-Mariah (you owe me feed sometime when I write one)
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
this was i think on eof your most....ho do you say MATURE drops i have seen from you in a while man lately you have dropped great pieces and nice fantasized equivalents but this one really shot out asa very mature piece from you man really a nice job man with your wordings and the vocab that was placed and shit man my congrats out to you and my deep respect for you as a writer and person man nice job... i loved the quote nd storyline that followed man and the title and style itself is self owned by your self so deep congrats to you man nice job thanks for the enjoyable read man.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
hmmm.......wow this was really different, but the thing that really got me was the multis sorry but im really a sucker for them i'll completely read anything that has alot of them in it and this was just reason enough to finish it, oh yeah but props on the emotion shit was crazy and the flow was amazing, i was feel'n the first part more then most kinda made me laugh but nevertheless a deep piece props
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Thanks to everyone. SS maybe has made me a little angry and off my game, so I wanted to OM a little bit and just write to write.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
wow if thats u in a not really writing mode...damn...the multis were good in this peice...and the vere was short and to the point not streached and it wasent to short...the third verse had amazing lines and vocab...
Then wake up to debate it...
Corrupt and sedated,
My outlook's still optimistic-
I'd rather be glad than free;
The system's simplistic-
that right there is great...and i see why u are always a the top of the list...and when i get back in from the noshow kick out i would like to battle to help me improve...
but please RTF on the link in my sig...my sunny day...
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Well this was a very enjoyable read.Multis were excellent and were probonly the strongest point in yur piece they really were fantastic.Your use of language was very clever in places and made the piece run a lot more smootly which is really good o see.I am so sick of people writing good pieces and then just finishing with a half assed closure, but here I was glad to see that you made a very good effort from start to finish.Very nice piece overall.
-Dyl
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
I don’t think it’s my place to front on this, so I won’t.
This was definitely a great drop. Though the content is somewhat….you know…on some its all been said before type ish. BUT……I don’t think I’ve read said quite that impressively. I mean everything about this piece was on point, form the word usage to the wordplay, not to mention the flow - which was obviously the highlight of this piece. It was so fluid that it all but eliminated……the LEGENTH of the read. Which is always a plus, cause it kept my attention and also satisfied my ambition for more. It was easily one of the better pieces I have read in the OM as of late.
Favorite lines:
God amuses me,
His antics, ...tirades...
What's with the semantics?
Hanging like a Preying Mantis sideways!
^Dope - nuff said!
Also:
Plan to just visit your family and loved ones...
While we spend our lives,
like bees in hives,
Working as dumb drones...
^You’re defiantly not lying about that man.
Great piece
pZ
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Haha Tupac tip for real here man..i could actually flow with that pac flow where he strecthes certain words and ish and it sounded proper. Your a genuine songwriter get me. I mean poetic technicalities aside this is what i like to see in OM forum as it rolls with fliudity that is proper this seems much more natural and some of the oold Engivale ish. This kind of flow is what made you in SS na mean and i can't say i'm not impressed by the sheer lack of effort i have to put in to read a whole piece of yours. Pretty breezy and great read. Nothing i can criticize as it contains content that i particulary favour.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
... i felt this piece was more in a poetic state of mind, because it was real deep, very emotion. the flow was a bit okay, also the vocabulary sounded good in the flow. Also this piece had some amazing imagry. really can follow thru. keep droping science fams..
peep the sig...
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
This was good, real good, but I don't quite understand why you don't write from the heart when you're in the SS. Don't get it twisted, you don't have to write stories to win storytelling leagues/contests. In my topical career, I've lost a total of 6 battles out of over 30, and that's excluding tournaments. I rarely write stories. Anyway, I really felt this, the flow was phenomenal and the execution of this content was superb. This was full of imagery and the emotion made it perfect. I felt what you were saying the entire way through. To sum it up: This was really good.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Gotta write the stories or all the dumb kids will say they don't think I was creative enough because they've "heard it all before." It's all about the votes. Gotta conform to the public, it sucks but... whatever. Half the time I write stuff that I think is a really great point, noone even catches it, and then some bullshit someone else writes that says something to the tune of ,
"And the willowing wasps of wilted basil for Heavenly thoughts, diminished plots of my energy makes the clouds rain away in blots..."
and they think that's beautiful. When, in fact, that is terrible, terrible bullshit that barely means a goddamn thing, but what do I know. Anyways, if more people like you were in SS voting I'd write more to the heart because I know other intelligent people would see the effort put into the writing of every line flow and meter style and actually vote for that rather than a mess of garbage that looks cool... but I complain about that all the time. No changing people. I know what I write and I know what they write, it's all interpretation.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
You're a leader or a follower? Don't conform, just redefine.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
Beautiful piece my friend. Only other piece I've read from you was in SS and you stole my vote in that one even though you lost the battle. this piece was dope as hell though. smooth flow from beginning to end, even with the switch of schemes. content in this is clean-cut and real. quite moving actually, im sure we've all had a taste of this. great description of how life feels some times, emotion was raw. i'll be sure to write with my all if i come face to face with you in SS, i do too look forward to that though. thanks for the feed on my piece. 5/10 keep writing! joking...lol.
peACE
ps. don't know if you're in a crew but PB would love to have ya!
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=248
no need to tryout if you accept.
Re: Some Thoughts of Mine.
yeah the emotion was good on this piece.flo was coo... not much to feed on information - wise. so could of been a lot more graphical thus visualy entertaining
was good in many ways tho.and had a hard feel to it. if maybe melancholic.
such is the time of year for this sort of thing....
but all in all was a good ole drop
check out my new piece thats on the board somewhere.
