Constance -v- The Witness.

20 - 40 lines
Due Friday at 11:59
Topics - w/e just drop


If Constance lose he lose his accout to wittness same for Wittness.

check

fuck friday, due today

I'll show.

Voters just in case you're cofused this is a poetry battle not topical ..Ima drop In 15 min

Wtf @ 20-40 Line Poetry Battle?

Bluebop Dream
of bebop jazz
http://www.poolpaintings.com/images/...o_Blues_lg.jpg

Yield to the heat on a humid,
Summer's day. A shady-bluesy
Grey for those soaked-shirt worries.
Jazzy-cats search for a
Mellow spot, but find their collective
Cool, too hot. So scatter, off-beat
Fiends to the dark corners of jazz
Clubs and saxophone smoke. Where
Mixed eclectic beats gather and dissipate,
Through an atmospheric haze of,
Musical nonesuch and rhythmical
Nonsense.Frolic in contemplative lines,
Of melodied fractions and noted equations.
Refrained chess with brass and wooden pieces,
For open ears.
Stringed quartets for revelrous dusks,
And trumpeters for dawns, who lay these
Railroad rhythms and rolling boxcar tones on
Traveler's ears and dog-gone dogs.
Frequent the abstract and find yourself one,
And the same. Amid the lurid and,
Brilliant schemes of a wavy summer
Afternoon, silver puddles reflect
The mid-day musings of molecular
Yammer. Escape the heat on a
Breezy rooftop, and you still get stuck
In the baking tar.From up here,
The city looks like one wavy
Sketchy-blur; Impressionistic and,
Spanning. Sullen hues of unfocused
Grandeur, where the skycraped forest
Yearns for the cool of late night
Baritones. With worn ivory keys,
Thelonious told me

"Well you needn't play the jazz,
To know the blues . . ."

sorry, shit came up, important shit

I will be dropping though, tomorrow.

please don't do a bitch move and get me dq'd

http://www.christcenteredmall.com/st...jesus-wept.jpg

Bye-Bye Baby Jesus

Hearts tick, amidst on-going war
blood cells fight HIV and flu
skin cancer smothers life in it's grasp
Death knocks at the door,
a guest in this house

Life skips through the evergreen glades
hand in hand with material posessions
death is left out
push aside, forgotten
Eternity is a bonus, heaven: a pot house
earth slow dances, on a rod of uranium
aliens, heard but not seen, fear is obscene
Belief is not to believe, but pretend to
Middle east: war, poverty and our resources
broken countries, keeps US alive, oil strives

The Bible left to mould, crys an inward wail of despair
as the candle flickers, no longer needed
filament bulbs, attack our eyes with rays of despise
war films swing on our heartstrings,dampen our eyes
But the real thing is overlooked, arrogance is bliss
ignorance: a day to day routine: we call this life?

God's acidic tears, fall on a pool of judgement
The earth spins on a broken axis
When Satan waves his magic wand
Any hope left for this world
is gone.

votes would be nice

dopeness

This was a very very hard decision for me and i hate to do it as i still beleive that pink slips are useless and i reckon both of you should forget about em.

Constance: A very very good piece, i really liked each description and the vocabulary was enhancing the atmoshpere...however, i noticed 1 or 2 typos/mistakes..idk like the word bluesy is realted to Jazz/blues, so that's all good but it was used to describe the colour...hmmm that irked me a bit, less like imagery and more like mistake..idk...anyhow, the mistakes didn't have the biggest impact on me personally as i still liked the description and fluidity.

Wit: The atmoshpere wasn't as stron as constances poem..if it were on atmoshpere constance would get it which is surprising however, i do have to take in other factors before a decision. I liked the topic, as you know i'm always on a religious tip with society ties in there as i like topics like that, not the most original but points as i like them types of topics. It was fluid and i never had much problem with flow. Once again i notcied 1 mistake in your piece, instead of slowly you put slow which irked me a little. overall, it was a very good piece though.

Verdict: Well to be honest i liked them both for different reasons...this is how i see it..Constance got flow and atmosphere hands down...however, Witness got metas, personification and interest. so for me witness got this on 3 points against C's 2..unfortunanatly i have to vote, very good pieces and Constance i'm sure you'll be a driving force in poetry soon.

\/ Witness.

Up.

Word to the voters: wittness is i SS ad there for this Pinkslip or Bann match can't take place uppin

Word these pieces were dope i liked the imagery in both of them and yall both had great flow and everything, it seems like a little bit more could have been done, use some more vocab maybe, but other than that this was a pretty even matched battle, if i had to vote though i would give it to constance for being a tad bt more consistant with hit wording and his style. No Hate to witness ya piece was dope too, it was on of the more interesting battles ive read lately.
Pz
HIT LINKS PLZ>

Up.

bump

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Hard to judge this battle for me since you wrote on two completely different topics. So for me it basically comes down to the better poetic style which makes it close.
Constance...i felt you wrote very nicely, although your line breaks made the read choppy because of the way you capitalize every line. If the sentence is a continuation, use lowercase. I liked your story and the way you presented it. imagery was well brought out and i was interested in the read
Witness....felt you didn't bring anything new to the table, a new poem on an common topic with nothing BLAM that made it stand out from the others, your poetic style was very nicely done, and i thought you did a good job of trying to incorporate metas in there.

Vote- Constance for overall more enjoyment

Damn this was a very good battle...

Con....you had a more entertaining drop...with a lot of high points for imagery and wording...you stayed consistant with what you were trying to get across...and I loved how you really played off the pic..as well

Wit....wow....This piece really made me think...as I could agree with what you were stating...You edged into a more realistic piece as Con's was more entertainment...but that wasn't the only thing...you really made me want to see what was in the next line and that's what this is all about...the interest of the reader and the deliverence of the writer...and I felt that you had the better deliverence...

tis was a very hard decision but I'ma have to go with Wit on this one based on the above statements...though I really enjoyed both pieces...

v- Wit...

Well i have to say a very good battle here guys good job, so...this was a hard decision to come to cause both verses were very nice, constance i liked your piece it had a nice rhythm to it and and vocabulary and emotion were very good, i liked the description you was giving aswell in your piece it stood out nicely and overall good drop. - Witness your verse was solid and it read so nice the vocabulary and emotion in this piece matched and just peaked constance's piece and brought a better more powerful piece to the table if you get me, overall i'm going to have to say that the witness will get my vote in this because his drop just left me with a sense of wow that was nice after i had read it aiight constance but you shouldnt feel bad cause your drop was top notch.

Wordage I'm just glad I got to battle someone as good as wittness, getiing one vote was good enough for me, now i got 2 that's a blessing lol, but thanks for the votes fam win or lose i'll respect wittness the same and the voters thats real.

although both of these poems were nice Im gonna have to give constance my vote, both your schemes were on point and u stuck on topic. constance had better imagery and overall poem. vote-constance

This was close and i thought you both came real good and i liked the poetic vibe i got from this... i think constance had a nice jazz type feeling to it that worked out well, but i felt like the rhymescheme could have been way better even tho the vocab was nice... it just seemed more of a poetic piece than a topical piece and it's just not as appealing as the style witness went for. Witness had a more rap feel to it while keeping it poetic and deep... i think the way witness approached this was better, but constance came more original with the idea... still witness's was just more entertaining to me... so yeah..

v/witness

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...al-339563.html

Thanks for the vote.. .

I'm not really a fan of poetry battles, but i have to say this was a dope battle man..

It was a very very very close battle..Both of you came with vocab, and flow..Constance had some nice vocab, and i really liked the pic to go with you piece, it worked out pretty good..And your imagery was good, but not great...Witness your imagery was great, and your vocab was cool, and i enjoyed your piece, as much as Constances'. So i have to give this to Witness, for enjoying it a little bit more..

V/The Witness.