Printable View
Umm... yeah... This shit is fucking dope... I guess I'm on my own dick right now, but this shit is fucking ill...
Basically derived from an overdose of depressive joe budden songs. Oh.. and my own Fubar'd life.
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=4660743
www.myspace.com/timissplit
I will return the favor... make this legendary or something.. (that might be the perc's talkin)
damn man...I'm only like a minute into it...this shit is dope as fuck
:D
this is written very well. it is way off beat though. sounds like you wrote it and then liked it so much you wanted to make it an audio. dope story line, but it is better written then rapped. or a better piece of writing then rap song. i like the story line. im sure if you took time to measure this up to a beat it would be dope. nice piece of writing
sounds like stryk9 .. :\
chea wut he said. dope lyrics just work on timingQuote:
Originally Posted by djb
^sounds like stryk?
flows off? nobody's said that, yet..
I like this shit a lot man .. i dont even know you, but im proud of you.. you killed it
it flowwed really good together.. the way you changed paces was niiice too
good job man, keep that shit up
nice testimony...cant loose with gospel, very poetic.
8/10
word, thanks kwest and ed,
to the dudes that had problems with the flow, I can see a few points where it's off, but for the most part it sounds good to me.. maybe it's just perspective.
The flow is sorta skitzo..I like ur lyrics,but its the flow that I dont find that appealing.it seems like ur off beat..but still the lyrics are deep.try an capture the emotion of the song..like it seems ur forcing the words an the feeling..an the sped up style seems a lil iffy to me..I like ur lyrics.
the beat is depressing,fah'sho...I can see this song being more if you stay'd on beat alil more..but still...lol..good song.very thoughtfull..u mustve been stress'd.
prefer it in written form like I said ebcause it sounds forced or too long in some areas and I think that takes away from the quality...but it's still well written.
sounds like stryk?...hmph..
to those who feel this is off beat, expand your horizons and learn more about rhyme scheme and original line structure....depending how its presented, off beat is Sooooooo ON beat...
most of you are being lied to by the simple type 1-2 ish you hear on MTV....
Split....this shit is dope period....i could quote a paragraph...but i'm not going to...
lets collab....lets battle....lets
Man Im feeling the originality on your flow on this. Content is on point as well. Aside from that I cant really comment cause its just not my type so I mean I aint bumpin my head to it. Keep doing ur thing more originality in hip hop thats what we need.
lmao at this i dunno why but its weird, i like it tho, defo class story, well written and shit, just seems like you werent always on beat..a different beat could make this even better. Flow is wicked in parts..good shit lad
THANK YOU, haha, I've been waiting for someone to come in here and lay it out right for 'em. word, we definately do need to collab. I tried to PM you the other day, but your shits full.... fix that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kleetus Kleaver
thanks jonezy and monster.
fixed
rtf
okay some quick advice fam when you write make sure you write to the beat because I can tell you def didnt write to this beat...once you've progressed as far as rhyming is concerned you need to work on a more easy delivery. I find it better to keep lyrics simple then work on delivery...once you have a good delivery mastered you can write and flow things alot better...aside from that quality is okay nothing that made me say damn dats sharp lol but yeah ur beat was okay overall your strongest aspect is your lyrics which is something alot of cats can't say they have
stay up n keep elevating
^nah, I wrote to the beat, I lost my headphones though, so I had to lay it down with my speakers on super low.. i could barely hear the beat over my own voice.. If I get bored I'll probably rerecord it in a more proper fashion.. Thanks dude