In this LIfe of the Next.. Ft IllThoughtZ..

1st me
2nd ..IllThoughtZ..

In this LIfe of the Next..

this life....
I'm on a god conquest, in constant question.
Rembrant obessed with Picasso painted perfections.
Flushed the colors to witness the outline stutter.
Doubted the others, trying to reroute the smothered
Towards the oygxen that's sits beneath my pen.
Lists a blissful sin as I trot towards the missions end.
The throne where lonely homies ran for help.
Banned from hell, us bandits managed to vanish
Till the banquet of famous failures was arranged with
RSVP's... Reserved dreams for nonchalant dreamers.
Concerend beings earned burns from lack of self esteamers.
Scars and barcodes for the veto'd votes.
At large on the farside, Days are torn slow.
Then thrown away... Crumbled up paper machete.
Fumbles clutched by the fallen saviors of todays.
Shaved words display hurt without the cover ups.
Rage spurts as the same girl sports her broken cuffs.
Hoped for luck, but the soaked cuts haven't dried yet.
I died a death, and tried a breath, but my complex...
was too, complex.

the next....
Blue collar to the depths of my spine,
Shirt tucked, I lack luck, but always on time.
The guy to count on, calcuate your personal state
Of mind. Evalute my fate through the papers lines.
A smile to greet you with, tax papers to beat you with.
Facts and fictions to spark the frictions.
At heart I'm rich with a darkened image.
One that starts a sentence to a horror story.
Dimish the satin history to experience
More then Glory.
The shore is forming with a crimson tide.
After death arrives, I'm sure I'll miss this life.
Think back to cutting edge, and kiss this kinfe.
Look downwards, from heavens ledge and
Drip My Strife.
Uplift the ripped soul I finally have control over.
The fold sober thoughts while I mold clovers.

I'm god, and my conquest has been blessed..

From another Life

Sweet aromas burn, as the hands of time's judgement turns,
expelling life's yearn, I turn- trying to convey all of Earth's
obscurity which reaks of purity- or does it? Anxiety hast
encompassed my soul, creating a new abode from the old
as I triumphantly hold, the real meaning to life's pose-
Forked roads await yonder where willing souls ponder.
Engulfed in opaque thoughts embraced by optimism's grasp,
cast and passed but all remains virtually somber. A wonder
to behold- one man's life is another man's death, prerendered
by bloody murmurs with tunes of bass clef. So I waste not
a second more within this brethren's war, to choose which
fork I shall soil with my prescence- trailblazing to reach
a settled score, but yet, to the devil's core I withstand
the fiery entise like a metal sword in a kettle forged. I
peek between several doors embarking onto life's unseen.
Souls shall gleam and dream of life's redeem tamed serene.
We remain unclean until death brings us before judgement's
ridicule. Thus is when we are giving this life or the next. Two
paths intertwined to make one fork in the road. Left...Right..
until the story unfolds and renews its hue.


Ill Thoughts link
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315105

My Link
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314975

damn this got slept on. but this was a pretty good piece. both of yall had sum nice imagery and emotion in it. multis were here and there but they were nice also. overall this was a nice piece. good parts here and there, got sum partsu need to work out. good job

uppin for more feed people...will rtf leave link

upinfor feed

up...come on ..shyt

wow....lmao .
bump..

i can't believe this is being slept on this was such a good drop...X you came nice...almost every line flowed and had a good sense of vocab putting the right words in the right place...but i think at times you tried to come to complex but didnt and it threw off the flow...your strutre was meh...i'm not gonna say it was bad but it didnt turn me on to the drop even though strutre doesnt really matter...you came pretty nice and stayed on the topic for your whole verse...Ill thoughts you came real nice i mean i loved that verse...you had real good flow ...and some real nice sense of vocab but came to complex in some areas which is alright but it threw off the flow...but you came nice with the topic and made your verse flow right in with Talents...the only thing i didnt like with yours was also the strutre...it might be your style but i feel the shorter lines...but what ever is good for you i'm just the reader..all together this was a nice drop with very few flaws...good job keep up and hit the siggy.

this was a very good drop... X you did your job covering imagery wording and vocab... which were all great to see from you...The topic was good and the way you worded it made it even better. Your multi usage was extravagent... and really brought out the imagery of the piece. The overall structure of your verse was good... Good shit

Ill: this was some of the best I've read from you if you were thelast verse... Who did the middle or was thatyou in the middle? IDK..If you had the last verse you covered the imagery to the T...Ya vocab always flows good which makes the reader read more..ya structure was good as well. Ya wording played it's part getting stuck at some points. but it still flowed well.

Overall this was a very good read from the both of you.. good shit.. Ill I think ya vocab and wording is ya strongest points...you piece those 2 2gether good... X_ Ur dope that's known..

yea thanks for feeding...i did the last verse...

Damn i was hooked from the first fuckin line "Im on a god conquest in constant question Rembrant obsessed from picassos painted perfections" just a good ass line both verses were tight

that's imma hit the links up when i get home i'm at school not but hell imma go ahead and give ya some feed now

a very good solid drop :) i enjoyed reading this peice and it should of got more feed back :/ but anyway the emotion was good the vocab was good ...

overall a very nice peice from both of you :2thumb:

yea..thanks...bump.

wow this is actually very good OM. u had good imagery and both of you came very good with a clear visual that opened up the storyline. i reallly liked the concept of this piece too, not alot of people can think of this stuff and u guys are pretty talented. good drop

bump...

scars and barcodes for the vetoed votes


nicee


us bandits managed to vanish

f'sho ^


blue collar
shirt tucked

f'sho...

kiss the knife

engulfed in opaque


nicee

souls shall gleam and......

f'sho


nice poetry in this shit f'sho.flow was nice......emotion was There.


good / dope piece.was mos def entertaining AND WROTE IN a tite manner

pz


check this pc

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315291

thankks red..up

Nice solid drop, from the both of you.. you both came hard on, I was feeling It from both of you. Your punches & flow came on top, vocab was good, multies were there, and the concept is tight, overall you both came nice.

Engulfed in opaque thoughts embraced by optimism's grasp,
cast and passed but all remains virtually somber. A wonder
to behold- one man's life is another man's death, prerendered
by bloody murmurs with tunes of bass clef.
^ dope shit right there..

keep doing you, and return the favor.

last up....

the vocab in this piece was nice n i liked the flow ..it gave me a good visual....all im sayin is keep up

uppin for feed

all in all was dope ass imagery and some smooth metaphors to boot......... structure was decent.........

rhymes was illest in the ist verse ya nah mean coz was more complex but not too complex so was coo...... 2nd verse rhymes ran a bit too basic as in the end rhymes.....
and wording of the 2nd verse could of been elevated somewhat////////


3rd verse seem like a big closing statement or something. tho formated nice diddnt seem to have real flow to it so i must admit i diddnt get into it too much as i did the 1st 2 verses..... guess it still had poetic qualities within.but i'm here for the rap still ya nah mean

nice collab tho..keep doing yo thang

1

Background was checked out & found to be a known biter. We are trying to get rid of people who do this.