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Walks Of Life.
Meta. Convicts first collab.
Thomas and Westbank.
Birth and Childhood
Awaking in a crib, lights and people surround
Making unusual connotations when I start on the ground
As I grow a lil older, memory of being a baby becomes distant
It used to be crawling; now Elementary school is my persistent
Meeting new friends and running home off the big yellow bus
I’m now in 3rd grade and my life is rolling in a continuous rush
“Tomorrow's middle school”, I cringe at my mothers’ words of true
Then just sitting in a quiet class with ppl but in a realm of alone to subdue
At every school year, I always hate the beginning, but then get attached
Now its high school... Drama, Girls, and looking fresh not to mismatch
My life is spiraling quickly; I’m almost out of school and left no clue
What to do when I leave resides my mind in a congested construe
Senior year…It’s good to be almost done, now its time for the real domain
But I graduate with no clue, leaving my dreams at a paused disdain
Adulthood
Business is just money, and in return their both the same
Staying financially well and having a family just to maintain
Being young was thrilling, but the world is steadily knocking
From getting kids ready for school, to the New York stocking
I never thought about getting old, it used to always be so far off
But reality hits home when you feel excruciating pain with every cough
“I’m half way thru my life”…My mind releases scary visions
Ever looming health catastrophes causing painful knife incisions
With ever growing age comes more responsibility tasks to behold
My parents used to plan and over watch, but tis my life left to unfold
Wife and kids look up to me, I just have to be the perfect model to role
With each New Year brings happiness, but raises my deaths toll
Being a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up, now I can only look in the past
Now being an adult, I wish to be young again and for it to ever last
Old Age and Death.
Knees weak with arthritis whilst I paint green veins
Arteries strike a purple & nausea holds the reigns
Dusty old chapters chatter to fill my empty time
And dusty old chaps fill empty glasses with wine
I dine in an old chapel whilst shredding old flesh
Meshed bones loosen up & muscles fail the test
It’s in my own interest to prayer with lead beads
The priest reads prayers the man heeds stares
Then convulses whilst in conversation of his sins
Sins from past days & sins that last days in grey films
He chokes blood & stutters spittle yet save the shame
Priest listens, not a kin he only plays the religious game
Dying form old age released from a soiled cage, he stops
Finally, time ends & his personal clocks end its tick-tocks
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Dope when this get put up lol..nice one West
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Well;
The wording was nice from both. Nice Flow; smooth. The Creativty was nice from both with a better emotion from Pak. The Collab together was nice. Could have had more imagenation. But oh well. Keep writing.
~Blind.
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This was a good Collab and I like how descriptive each drop was in position with it 's theme. First verse Very nice rhyme scheme worked well. structure was good. imagery was cool. multi's would've did this part justice. Second verse The first two lines made me want to read it more it conatined good imagery and irony. Third verse PAK at it again this one had the best imagery and wording, I see that you did the best job at the end which added to the building of the collab>good shit. Overall this was a good collab as a whole but the first two verse just need more multi's and better wording aside from that this was a good Drop. RTF PLZ..........
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.............sorry for the free post but could you............... RTF Plz
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good use of lyrical text. it was kinda original but in a good way. betta come up stronger against me though. you got this post on lock.
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I honestly liked it. I think in the collab there was some vivid imagery for the reader to see. It was a basic style, but it flowed very smooth and was easy to read and understand. As for the concept I think it coulda went more in depth, but not a bad read!
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my honest o=.a lot of the rhymes seemed like uhm obviously coming and not that much intersesting to me as such.......... had a fair slice of violent imagery between ya'll............flow was consistant enough in text sense...........
nothing amzing hit me concept wise ....... or rhyme - wise. but still the piece was closely nitted and worth the effort still coz the ish was decent but not knock out or anything
bless
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This piece was okay...or should i say the first two verses were okay...the last one is what did it for me...idk it seems like the first two followed the same rhyme scheme and it got kind of repetitive i guess you could say...
but this was a good piece to read i have to say...nice concept but i think it is overly played out..but u mixed it up enough to make it valid..but overall i give it a 7/10...it was alright for me..wasnt terrible..
if u would rtf on my OM "The American Dream" it would be much appreciated.
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cool. you used some words in the wrong context though. i could see and tell what you were thinking when you typed up the piece, but your ideas werent executed as well as you would've hoped... the opening line to the entire bit was pretty strong, and it was basically all consistant from there on. vocabulary was strong, but remember, DONT sacrifice vocab for flow... i could tell you wanted to that... if its your style, like pakaveli's.. then you guys should try and make it mesh better. good jobn anyway
hit up "The Future Presents: Puppet Show!"
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Re: Walks Of Life.
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Re: Walks Of Life.
this was a good piece. great imagery, especially the 1st and last scenarios because those were very structured and detailed well. loved the whole concept of "Birth and Childhood" because i believe thats how all kids feel when growing up, especially back then, it was very real i could relate to it. "Adulthood" was very good in detail as well, just thought it could be better presented, the flow stayed on point for the most part but that section didnt grab me the way the 1st one did, probably cause i'm in that stage now. "Old Age & Death" was very beautiful, and true. thats how it will most likely end, i like the word choice and depiction those words gave me. overall this piece was well written/put together foreally
oh, hit this up my dudez
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=318800 :)
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Re: Walks Of Life.
.....please leave some more feed
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Re: Walks Of Life.
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Re: Walks Of Life.
another collab? lol but this was better you did exactly what I wanted you to do the first time around you both held down your parts and west lol man you love using them big words, but if your going to use them make sure they flow well with the story and your useing them in the right meaning, thats all apart of being organised once you get that down you'll be a dope writter, other than that this peace was nice the story line flowed well I surprisingly didn't studder over any parst besides on west grammacial errors, but that understandable you guys in my book get a 8/10.
