Satan's So Seductive Ft. Pakaveli

Satan's So Seductive.

Verse 1- Ta2_Tears
Verse 2- Pakaveli

The sweet sound of sires softly sing soothing symphonies
As we slowly drift to our slumber, quilted by the night
The red pajamas dance in my dreams, poking me, hinting me
Provoking me, choking me, as he lures me from the light
Obscurity as I write, as I think, even as I breathe
As I live, I am attracted to the evil in the shadows
I am magnetized towards the hate, sin is what I need
To succeed, to gloat and float as the rest drown in the shallow
The wicked dwells in my soul, expressed through my actions
In my thoughts and my words, the image of him is displayed
He influences me with his spite and detestful reactions
Forcing the light to fade as the globe is cast in shade
As he grasps his pencil I am drawn towards his despise
And the evil captures me when I experience sexual sensations
And the thrill of the kill, he puts his fire in my eyes
The evil is so attractive, the Oh So Seductive Satan

The man with the capote hat & a cane in place
In haste he tastes a sample of a soul displaced
He dips my quill in blood and gives me blood money
Isn’t it funny that the devil plays my symphony?
Newton’s laws still apply so I keep falling to shame
Trying to exit the game created by him who’s vain
I open my heart’s doors after hearing the knocking
Times stopping at my house today the devils docking
Octaves rise like clouds from the greenery I breathe
I knead the clay dough who’s he gonna slay though
A voodoo doll in process for its first test I unsheathe
Needles & insert them into the doll I spasm in sorrow
Pain affliction because of the D mans infliction
So seductive are the dark tendrils gripping in friction
That I allow full consummation of a Baron soul
So seductive Satan ...with evil his productive goal

Links:
Link #1: EMOtions by Ab0ve
Link #2: Poetry Is Named After... by Exact

Dope lol

nice alleteration o that first line, nice multis, vocab was good in both verses,cool topic
both had good imagery and structure, i liked the way both of you said the title in your verse, cheer=z one or two of your lines seemed forced but still good piece from both of you

if you coul djust hit up sometihng in the link

I've already left comments on all them links lol...

i meant cheez

This piece was well put together i like how you both covered each other's asses in this one pak had a lot of imagery and cheez had some nice play on words he kinda surprised me by the take onthe topic you guys were both very descriptive and i like the rhyme scheme that were choosen in this piece it was really nice to read a piece like this also the vocab set the flow perfect didnt' through it off like some kats to i like dat about this piece

Favorite part from cheez

Obscurity as I write, as I think, even as I breathe
As I live, I am attracted to the evil in the shadows
I am magnetized towards the hate, sin is what I need
To succeed, to gloat and float as the rest drown in the shallow
The wicked dwells in my soul, expressed through my actions
In my thoughts and my words, the image of him is displayed

Well put mann i like the concept you used through this small part


Pak

He dips my quill in blood and gives me blood money
Isn’t it funny that the devil plays my symphony?
Newton’s laws still apply so I keep falling to shame
Trying to exit the game created by him who’s vain
I open my heart’s doors after hearing the knocking
Times stopping at my house today the devils docking
Octaves rise like clouds from the greenery I breathe
I knead the clay dough who’s he gonna slay though
A voodoo doll in process for its first test I unsheathe
Needles & insert them into the doll I spasm in sorrow


the imagery showed very well in this piece and this time without a picture attached

Nicely put together overall a good piece to read and was very constructive

Good Drop

both level this out nice.....for emotion and deep description paka grabbed that section...ta2 broke it down with alliteration an dmulties...metaphors from both faired well and bnoth were on topic. assorted it fairly and didnt cramp one idea in one sectio nyou slowly develoed the story line well...nothing out of proportion and both did a nice job with wordings...almost flawless. diction was nice and on point..nothing too drastic or out of line ya feel me?!....

fav bars from ta2

The sweet sound of sires softly sing soothing symphonies
As we slowly drift to our slumber, quilted by the night
The red pajamas dance in my dreams, poking me, hinting me
Provoking me, choking me, as he lures me from the light
Obscurity as I write, as I think, even as I breathe
As I live, I am attracted to the evil in the shadows
I am magnetized towards the hate, sin is what I need
To succeed, to gloat and float as the rest drown in the shallow

fav. bars from paka..


He dips my quill in blood and gives me blood money
Isn’t it funny that the devil plays my symphony?
Newton’s laws still apply so I keep falling to shame
Trying to exit the game created by him who’s vain
I open my heart’s doors after hearing the knocking
Times stopping at my house today the devils docking
Octaves rise like clouds from the greenery I breathe
I knead the clay dough who’s he gonna slay though
A voodoo doll in process for its first test I unsheathe
Needles & insert them into the doll I spasm in sorrowhe man with the capote hat & a cane in place
In haste he tastes a sample of a soul displaced

weel t sure did give the good old aliterations a sound bashing.ha

yeah this whole joint was gekked tite f'shho.......nice imagery and vocab usages by both patrons of the page........ baron followed up with some interesting adjectives.......
piece had sort of a dark tone to it yet a lively spirit... so thus was entertaining therewith....... i liked alot of the rhymes all throughtout the piece and concepts was food for thought


pz1


check this 11 if u get time

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313509

Hmm;

Different. Nice job too both.

Pakivali: Nice wordplay and floaw. Keep working on you're emotion. The Imagenary was better then you're last and you had a nice rhymeskeme. Write more like you did in that championship battle against Xplicit. You lost the light you basterd. :mad: Find it once more young Padawan.

Ta2: Nice wordplay. Smooth flow. The Emotion was nice and deep with some nice Imagenary. Rhymeskeme was great aswell. You were the better writer on this collab. But you both did good jobs. Keep it up yo.

RTF.

~Blind.

i had trouble finding my "groove" with this one. Ta's verse was cool, but to do the alternating rhyme scheme like that your A line has to have some repitition through your B leading up to the different scheme - because the way you had it i just never really could hang onto any sense of true flow. contectually a cool piece, i liked it - average ... but the issues in regards to fluency became a real anoyance. as for Pak, it was nice, but the diction was sloppy. for you it seemed like a very very quickly thrown together piece - i know you're more honed than that. i loved the content of your piece, and alot of it really made me think, and just hit me with that "damn, i should have thought of that" type afterthought. great job on that, again though ... it just looked hastely put together. this was a decnet collab overall, just alittle sloppy - seemed like neither of you put a 100% into it.

if you would, Abstanti Collectives newest collab ...
"Anathema"

Thanks 2 every1 who left feed and i promise to hit up EACH AND EVERY ONE of you when i get back from hockey, and if not, then most definately tommorow

atti thanks for the good feed, it's my first in a month and a half so i just told pak we should do a quickie to get me back into the groove a little.

rize

*goes to return feed*

This piece was well put together. The alliteration was nice to see. the imagery was some of the best I've seen so far. And both drops were structured well and contained enough great wording to have an AW! effect edging the reader in their seat as they read along. The topic was DOPE and supported well with dopeness throughout. I didn't feel either had an edge on another in this one it was pretty even which makes a beter collab. Overall this was a good read. PAk you always drop nice and I've now been awaken to another good writer Ta2_Tears . GREAT JOB @ both.

thanks^^ i think i did all the rtfs.. if i missed someone pm me.. BUMP.

both verses were solid...creativity was dope, and flow was fire... all i got to say is you guys stayed on point all throughout this peice... illy drop famos

Damn.....The flow was exceptional!! Both of the verses were completely easy to read and the imagery was great. The vocabulary used wasn't too complex which made it easier to understand.

Best lines of first verse:

"As I live, I am attracted to the evil in the shadows
I am magnetized towards the hate, sin is what I need
To succeed, to gloat and float as the rest drown in the shallow
The wicked dwells in my soul, expressed through my actions
In my thoughts and my words, the image of him is displayed
He influences me with his spite and detestful reactions
Forcing the light to fade as the globe is cast in shade"

Just well thought out....It all makes complete sense....

Best lines in 2nd verse.

"Newton’s laws still apply so I keep falling to shame
Trying to exit the game created by him who’s vain"

and

"Needles & insert them into the doll I spasm in sorrow
Pain affliction because of the D mans infliction
So seductive are the dark tendrils gripping in friction"

Great collab; Looking forward to more.