16-24 Lines.
House Rules.
Due in 2 Hours.
Topics.
Blind Sight
Darkness
Devils Apprentic
Printable View
16-24 Lines.
House Rules.
Due in 2 Hours.
Topics.
Blind Sight
Darkness
Devils Apprentic
Who the Fuck is you blood
Check.
http://i114.photobucket.com/albums/n...esDarkness.jpg
Her View on Life…
Only fifteen and she’s already starting to hate living
Made some mistakes…her parents weren’t forgiving
She has no support at home, school or even friends
Thinking that if she stayed, life would very soon end
She bends back as far as she can to make things right
Dad is never home, and all mom wants to do is fight
She tries to hide the fright but deep down she scared
Can’t bare with this pain she just wishes life is fair
She starts to write poems, explaining her home
Hopes when she’s grown she can then be alone
The cuts and slits on her wrist are from deep pain
Cant do it to anyone else, hurts her self to keep sane
Gets teased at school because kids know her life
She tries to do is fit in and tries her best to be liked
Sits in her room all day long scared to show her face
Wants to have life erased, her mom thinks she a disgrace
Her dad wants her replaced…there isn’t much she can do
There is not much that she hasn’t already been through
She wants to take the final step…put this bullshit away
This girl who lives in darkness said she hates her mom
And finally she put her life to rest the very next day…
And It Ends...
Darkness…….
………………..A Blinds man Buff
http://home.att.net/~mike_helland/pzl6014-t.jpg
Picture a mother dumping her newborn in a dumpster at night
Then picture the plight that comes with being poor in fright
I live everyday, flute in my hand searching through alleyway
To find the octaves amiss from my bliss I miss that Jazz & Ray
The musical hemisphere is on the other side of the orbit see
Today I’m blind to the sheets and the notes are mocking me
KRS one preaching about the real Roxanne I block my ears
I open them to listen to the fear of Justin & his Darkness peers
Fall forward stumbling blind to this world I fall on an incipient tile
No that’s granite or is it bitumen I see a black velvet style
Staggering along drunk with melodies the cars hoot an orchestra…
BEEP BEEP………BEEP BEEP……”Move out the way old man”
I smile an embryonic smile then understand I’m not really guile
Sophisticated technologies can’t help, the doctors lost hope after a while
Though the resonance of the pebbles clicking my heels is so great
That its timbre shakes my sole was that Beethoven, or a foot’s mistake
I walk along oblivious to the emerging car will its wave’s crash me
Or will I float on cloud 7 spying n music, harmonious paparazzi
Mistake me not I’m not blind or strained by any physical ties
It’s a blind mans bluff, the cloth around my eyes is where it lies
The secrets to my melodies and the composition of clashing strings
Violins constructed from rubber bands, vision my darkness
……………………………and in the darkness is where the music begins
Up #1
This was a ghosted battle check IR.
But Upp.
^I own that account since yesterday..Up
This was kinda of close but then it wasn't at all.... I mean on the story telling with the emotion yea it was close... but then with being creative, word usuage and and the imagery.. it was sonny... man that was nice pretty good... i want a topical battle you man you seem as a good challenge... keep up the good work... an No this isn't my only alias.....so don't underestimate me....
v/sonny....
Your dictionary with the dashes i know..thanks for the HONEST one.
though this was close Sonny edge this one out with better wording and a more extensive vocab than usual..The emotion was felt in both pieces but sonny just captured the story with a more defined piece. King ya shit was good you just didn't have that vocab to push it over the edge.
V = sonny
pretty sick king but sonny owned this battle but i cant vot so fuck it
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Yup #3Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron P. Mortuus
#4.
sonny won this battle he had better flow and some nice as imagery his verse was a lil more descriptive then your's Dj this was really good battle both of youguys brought your A game on this battlei'm glad i took the time to read it
DJ you flow was choppy in some places you lack imagery in a couple places also although u did stay on the topic your imagery really didn't paint a vivid picture for me you were descriptive though i dont think ur vocab matched in some places mann but i like your verse overall just make sure you can pull a better flow on the piece
Vote Sunny
V//Sonny
wtf is up wid sonny actually droppin pretty good drops? is someone Ghostwriting for him???/but king dope drop but sonny just came wid dat dopeness.
RTF hit the link in my sig
LAst up vote and leave linkages
Close it.
I'll just close this.....Dj.. homie you did nothing wrong in this at all so keep ya head up....you only lost because your opponent came more explosive....when you read your verse i thought mm..that was really good....but then when i read his i thought wow....so next time when you battle make it make an impact na mean unlucky homie.
-Thomas.