Tomborrow

Future President or Union Worker For sale
Fetus and Prostatic fluid already included
Don't worry, we sold the ignorance influence
Just add love and want, a village unveiled
Its your own personal carcass. Just $5 dollars.
5 for the rubber, and the priceless moment where it breaks is free
We even included multiple shouts synonomous to emergency
This deal is once in a life time, buy it now, and we'll include another "Tomborrow"


Rheologist formulas and infantile injections
Times the only antidote to miles of tension
Suprise; its demented, the human peridium
Wrong choices create a delusion of innocence
The sinners gist, a degree-holding chutist kid
Pushing others off edges; knowing ruthlessness
Abusiveness, neolithic practices modernized
They take possession of amethyst that offers lies
Often dies, deliquesced into darker malfeasance
Left staring into reflective shards of the heaven sent
The eminence of an ominous cloud of attrition
Showers of recalcatrince not allowed in the Mission
A broken existence, now walking planes not aspersed
Stoic visions, the second epoch in a disdained universe
Its attained uber hurt, Day 2 traverses the wasteland
Mainly due to a parentage breaking its fate plan
A great man, prehistory wrapped in a noose neckalace
Though Hitchhock methods will reveal acute evidence
Root of death and its, companions; traced to the source
An abating remorse for the cadaverous interim
Generation: family carcass: officially dead from sin
A mystery of abstinence, where are the pious?
Some people feel evil and arent aware of the child
Dispair just runs wild, lost in a graveyard of futures
Are our only options are to favor the clueless?
The labor is ruthless, doctors hears filled with sorrow instead
Face the facts, this fable lasts, it portrays tomorrow is dead

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...61#post4680661

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=298750

Dude I never know what to make of your pieces.. You’re like one of the strangest writers on here. I mean when cat talk about pushing the boundaries between what’s hip-hop and what’s poetry I assume they look at you as an example, I know I do. Your pieces are always expertly constructed, masterfully worded, and perfectly transitioned. Your vocabulary is light years of head of any 13yr olds that I know – and at least a century beyond most of the us that post on in here. However, I never fuckin’ know what your talking about (lol), at least not right off the bat. I’m going to start calling you the Mad hatter or the Riddler or some shit; I’d really like to take an expedition into your imagination and see just what the hell goes on in there, I’d be luck if I didn’t get hit with a word the size of city bus for dangerously snooping around your cranial area. Hmmmm….let me stop though, interesting read as always. I can’t front that spaceship mathematics you call a verse…is well….pretty damn dope. My only advice to you is to get dumber before you little head explodes all over that laboratory table I assume you eat your dinner on.

Thanks, but you do know what I was talking about right? Because this all makes sense to me... but I don't want to be too vague.

Lol @ your replies though, they always have a little life to them..

Damn, I loved this. This piece was great in all aspects. The best part of course being the creativity of both the subject matter and the concept, Abstanti style :) Lol but ya, this was a real cool read. Flow was on point, very structured and organized with the multies and syllable count. Emotion was slightly dry, I think that's only because of the excessive use of higher level vocabulary... But I don't think this piece was supposed to really be a shot to the heart, but more so a showcase for creativity and metaphore. Nice job overall man.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=299956

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Soulstice

Thanks, but you do know what I was talking about right? Because this all makes sense to me... but I don't want to be too vague.

---

^lol, belive it or not I'm a pretty smart guy...I think..I can put the pieces together.

This was a very well written piece. Personally, the language/vocab is what i really enjoyed in this piece the way you multiplied the words sometimes was good also. The first verse had a shaky structure though the rest of the piece had a more solid form. I liked the metaphoric state of this piece as well. Overall, a very well written piece that had a generous dose of creativity, well done.

nice starting bars.sic vocab worded ill n flowed well........
plus the ish does continue w/ ilness inn my opinion.mos def flow got rm hooked on 1.......ish is elevated f'sho..........vocab goes even a lil too sic....damn!.........
wtf?.........concept is flipped yeah......... poetics was sharp delivered......
yeah dope all round piece. .yeah u been blazin that high.....


nice write.

pop mo

pz1

thanks.

uppity duppity

Sorry I haven't been responsive to your pieces lately.

THis piece is amazing. Crazy. Everytime I read this, I read a line and felt that I was wrapped in a warm blanket of entertaining vocabulary, way beyond any piece that I've seen before. I had never seen such sophisticated words used in a piece like this, and it was crazy how you fit everything in, and still had such a relevant and practical piece. Nice job.

Honored to have you in the crew.

Word snitz.

I like this peice the wordplay was great.
The structre was normal.
The flow was incredible.
The creativty and imagenray part was wanderfull.
The story was insane.
9-10
Keep it up :)

Quote:

---

Rheologist formulas and infantile injections
Times the only antidote to miles of tension
Suprise; its demented, the human peridium
Wrong choices create a delusion of innocence
The sinners gist, a degree-holding chutist kid
Pushing others off edges; knowing ruthlessness
Abusiveness, neolithic practices modernized
They take possession of amethyst that offers lies

---

Vocabulary was pushed to the limit, but strangely there were no stretched lines. This is the piece I liked from you the most because it had such a unique concept that I havent seen anyone else on RB perform. Of course every writer is unique in their own way, but you pulled this one out fantastically. You portrayed each detail very elaborately, and thats what I loved most about this piece. Good job, keep up the good work faggot. Piece out.

Thanks whore ;)

chodeface^

00000h.

deffinatly the strongest vocabulary i've ever seen on this site. i honestly think your vocabulary is even above bounce. but without saying ..i think that the WAY you use this vocabulary is bad. i don't like how you throw a shit load of words in that most NO ONE hears ever. it's like you're trying to say (along with your story) "bitch get a dictionary!" lol, but the writing is great. like LegendZ said i think ..it's more borderline poetry AND Topical. i love it, because it's original, but i hate it because it's so complex. it's a different thing for me. Maybe it's just that i'm lazy and bad with vocab but that's me if thats the case. i remember doing your second piece with you, Vamp, and Vafinest. that was dope ..but now i look at me and you, and i see we're above that level now. We're passed that noobie level, and ready for another collab ;) ..

sooooo ..hit me up when you're free, and we'll organize a topic. I'd love getting through with your style. let's do it ..

- Nash

Tankz

EDIT - when did i collab with you, vamp, and va??

i dont remember

I like this peace alot, it was great in many ways, the best part was the imagery and the creativity, they were great, really a good kinda way to grasp the reaers attention, it had my full concentration from beginning to end, the flow was on point, wit a great structure, and it contained multies that was nice to help the flow along and flow even better, could've used more emotion to grasp more attention, but it already hit, where most readers like these kinda peices to be, you did a very good job for this choice of topic, and nice way to express it but not say it, very nice metaphors, well anyway can u hit up the O.M. in my sig with ta2, maybe both if possible, thnx

This was cool. I thought the intro was really dope. The rest of the piece: not as much. I think the vocabulary threw the rest of the piece off a bit. You just seemed to have a concentration of words that no one would use in a normal sentence, so as I read it, it just felt weird. Decent, but would have been really ill, if the rest of the piece was like the intro.

Thanks, but i guess my style just contradicts the many tastes of the rb cats.. but word, thanks

uppity

dam kid ...you sure your thirteen...you sound like one of them
spelling bee ma'fuckas...

Quote:

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Rheologist formulas and infantile injections
Times the only antidote to miles of tension

---

that is fucken nice...im feelin you in the first half...
then i dunno where the fuck you go...im thinking this
really happened...and this dudes a real dude...
whatever the fuck...all i know is you use ya vocab skillfully...
your internal rhymes along wit your transitons is nice...
this piece is crazy...skill levels is insain as hell kid stay up...

I love your work. but i dont like you... why you ask? well the answer is 5 words.... YOU MAKE ME LOOK STUPID :D

LoL... dont expect many people to understand wut ur talking about and leave you feed you can work off of, because i dont expect many people 2 understand wut the fuck you're talking about... me, i'm decently smart and have a fair sense of vocabulary, and i was only able to slightly grasp the concept of your piece... for what i did understand, it was amazing that's for sure... the topic was great and imaginative, and your metaphorical and clever way of playing it out was outstanding... The rhymescheme and multis were outstanding, glad to see alot of them in there... and i loved how all your rhymes were so complex and difficult... you truly showed off your talent in that 1... vocabulary i dont even have 2 talk about, it was the most intelligent i've seen yet, though it makes me wonder if it was a bit forced... glad to see that the intensity of your vocab did not effect the flow of your piece, as it remained consistent throughout... the one problem i discovered in this piece was the extreme lack of emotion... it didnt reach out to the reader in my opinion, so i feel that for your next work, you should focus more on that..

but amazing job, im left dumbfounded. completely amazing... wow... uhh yeah i kno u already left feed on my collab with NY but i would b honored if you could check out As The Petals Fall in my sig... thanks alot peace

~1~