tsunami

rumble rumble rumble the earth starts to shake
nobody really expected such a horrible quake
people wondering how many lives would it take
people see that the ocean is running away
but nobody says to anyone if they should go or stay
because they followed that tide there lives were to pay...

the tide returned with devastating effects
washed away everything from all angles all aspects
homes in ruin, relationships in tatters
nobody cares how big or small everything matters
we live in a world that is now ruled by nature
people worry no matter what religion or culture...

those people all went to an early grave
we were unable to do anything not one person we could save
they live in a watery grave and onli bones remain it would seem
the survivors remember that fatal day it lives in their dreams
they say the worlds axis moved 3mm during that time
slowly they piece their lives back together building - come rain or shine...

you cannot describe those scenes i mean what is there to say?
200,000+ thats to many lives to lose in one single day
we still remember those people who were lost we sit silent and pray

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296597
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285358
..

uppin......

Peep Mine, Its Directly Below This One, Than I'll Return The Favour. Jus Its The Only Way Guy's Leave Feed Nah Mean, EveryOne Sleeps On Om's

fuck it
this shouldn't be slept on this.It was a very good peice but these bastards round here tend to sleep on anything lol. this was tight. i loved it..it was nice to follow due to the excellent flow continusely throughout this peice....good rhymes and multies throughout......nice strucutre..emotion was dope for real...nice vocab and complexity...and overall this was a very good peice..keep it up...

thanx for the feed homie 13mins it took me to right it i appriciate the feedback!!!

uppin........

13 min's, damn mine took me 2 days, and yours is the same length..lol..

lol well i got experiance homie but trust me i see real potential in you!!!

yea thx for the props bruv..wanna go a lil one on one in the punch cypher, thas where my real skill lies..im off there n e way, feel free to join me

waddup mc. i aint seen u in a minute. but i think this was a very good piece. it had sum nice imagery in it and the lines that u used werent wasted. every line had a meanin behind and u also u sed sum very good vocab in this piece. u could have had sum more complexity behind ur rhymes but all and all this was a very good piece keep it up

thanx reggie appriciate the feedback!!!.......uppin........

uppin........again please leave feed

uppin......

it had good flow throughout and good structure also good imagery but it lacked multies and they're important for a great piece homie

ok thanx........uppin more feed please........

topic was interesting to me. i liked it.
i felt this peice. it had nice consistant flow.
rhymes were good all the way through.
and overall i liked it..

my fav. lines were

rumble rumble rumble the earth starts to shake
nobody really expected such a horrible quake
people wondering how many lives would it take
people see that the ocean is running away
but nobody says to anyone if they should go or stay
because they followed that tide there lives were to pay...

^that was dope fa sho..good job

keep it up.

aiight fanx man i appriciate it good comments i lyked them ......uppin.......

uppin........

uppin........

uppin........

uppin.......please leave feed.......

i really liked this. i actually saw what you were talking about as i read it. nice imagry. your wordplay was nice, your flow was decent, your structure was good. great job mc, stay up. and btw you need links or Brixton will close this. peace.

thanks for the info hun.......more feed please.....................

uppin........

uppin......

uppin.......

uppin..........please leave feed..........please.............

yo this was a dope peice topic was good nice to see some originality imagery was off da chain sick with that every line seemed like a ill line almost like a whole song made of punchlines flow was tight when along with the story complexity was good as well nice to see some of that structure was good fuck it everything was good stay up
leave feed on my om what life is

finally.......thanks man appriciate it.............more feed.............

.................i thought it was a good piece.................

it was a gd piece but sum thing was missin, the passion and shit if u wud have experienced it ur self then it wud be more to heart but cz u dant it didnt have that something,i liked your ryme scheme and ur rymes the structure was ight aswell this isnt ur best work but keep rytin

and leave feed on ma hate om please

......yeh i could have experianced it.......but thanx...........more feed plz.........

leave feed on mine and i no u aint

^ Rational., I read that. It sucked balls. sounded like my 3rd grade teacher talking or some shit.

Micbig...

I see potential...I think you relied to much on us getting a mental picture in our head of the situation, I think you lacked in imagery here...Also, there were some misspellings...The rhyme scheme has been used, but it's not been used that much...nice to see something a bit different...The story line was decent, seen better, seen worse...Try working on your vocabulary, it'll make the read more complex...I see room for improvment, just go to Sacred Scriptures and read some of the writings in there and you'll see what I mean..

lmfao

leave feed then so i can improve

.......uppin.......

uppin......

mc can u checc out mah OM the link is in mah sig

ok i will........uppin........

uppin.......

topic was interesting to me. i liked it. i felt this peice. it had nice consistant flow. rhymes were good all the way through. and overall i liked it..my fav. lines were


homes in ruin, relationships in tatters
nobody cares how big or small everything matters
we live in a world that is now ruled by nature
people worry no matter what religion or culture...



good job