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the war begins
the first phase : the warning
i have been sent here to end you all and take your souls
kills will be forever rising on the rapbattles death tolls
the devil is my father and his wish is my command
his army is ready and his evil plan is finally at hand
we will rule all whether you like it or not so here we stand
we eat sleep and breath fire so watch your feeble planet wither and die
pethetic people of gods creation meet your new leaders the devil and i
you children to are children you cannot be compared
all you humans who just role over and surrender your lives maybe spared
the next phase will be along soon enough!!!
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Hey, not be an ass hole or hating or anything but the rules say 16 line minimum...but anyways this was pretty good homie....i was feelin topic.....even though its pretty popular this was still good...flowed well....nice structure....good rhymes...nice vocab usage even though it was scarcely throughout...you could elevate a lil bit but this right here was good..keep at it man...you got potential..
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thankyou child lol
uppin.................
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...uppin...please leave feed...
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hey it was short ans sweet i liked your skill just wisj you fed it more to let what you do truly flourish i will look for previous work to see more skill stay up
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This was aight, i see you've done it in relation with your name 666-devil, devils advocate and all. Overall, this was an aight verse but next time do try and make it longer and also if you can't quantitise it then add more quality and work on the technical parts of poetry/rhyme/rap....imagery-discription, personification metaphores etc.
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thanx...more feed plz...
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so, you're pretty much gay.
BTW, it's stretched and terrible. .
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There a few stretched areas and the rhyme scheme is basic. The idea has been played before...yet it was done better that time. Maybe your continuance will be up to par but this needs more in depth work. There is no imagination in it and your slacking in the detail area.
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...o and by the way i was doing it in parts thats y it aint long but it dnt matter now cause some people are noobs so i cba doin it...i have talent dnt forget it...
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well nice i guess really some stretched lines can fuck up your drop so work on that and get more intuned with your emotion and make us feel it....CATCH US homes....but nice lil stroy man reall good keep elevating
RTF on the links in my SIG PLEASE!
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it was str8 overall the feelin put into was good
ur structure was also pretty good
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uppin.....more feed but plz don't put my lines were stretched because i already now...thanx
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this was an alright peice,you still have some elevating to do though...your structure wasn't very good in my eyes,you didn't have enough multi strings and it was far too short.but you have most of the basics down and I think that you will be a good writer if you keep elevating and reading drops from more experienced people than yourself.nice drop though for someone whom I think may be relatively new to writing OMs.keep dropping and elevating dude. read the tutorials.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296067
^leave feed on that please
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the son of the devil..is on a rapboard.
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wtf? your not at the whitehouse, declaring your supremacy and your reign of terror. Not devouring souls, not ripping apart hoes, bums, pedophiles, sex offenders, gays..
no demons, no earthquakes, no sign of anything evil? your jsut on a rapsite posting a verse? Is that your masterplan!!!! guaranteed to rule the world..one rapbaord at a time.??? wtf? gaaaaaaaaaay.
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ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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um....as far as sheer subject matter... i kinda take offensive to it. But as far as skill, i say it rather decent. It has a steady flow. And i would say it's 2 short...but thats already been established
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are my posts freakin visible now? dammit
