The Hillsborough Disaster.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/116000...borough150.jpg

Overcrowded Space.

1989, Hillsborough.
England.

1989.. a football game took place & in the face of a day so fine,
96 souls died. A life from every race was doomed crossing THAT line.
That line which intertwines between a pitch, and death by design.
Instead of a crowd that hollers and sits, they ignored the signs..
of a capacity crowd - beyond the times. Almost double the allowed
attendance, and innocent people were dependant on police,
not fit to preach from their presence that begged beyond belief.
A bunch of hypocritical white sheets, shit their pants at the gate,
so they kept it closed & chose to wait - sealing an opposing fate.
Yet the crowd never shifted hate..
..they only wanted an escape, far away from that twisted taste.
.
.
17 years on, and the families of those killed, still fight - strong.
& continue a constant battle of what police say is right, is wrong.
Many artists pent up, took a pen and book to right a song,
for the pride of the people who've had to fight for so long.
Straight from the Mothers tongue, a million accents and dialect
were united in grief - upon sombre they'd meet in respect
of the dead. For what's left is an unofficial truth..
with unofficial proof, that 96 people COULD have been let loose
to breath, rather than receed into their lungs which are set acute
at an angle, that they're body can't handle - so they wrangle in pain.
Making a Metropolitan Police's mantle lame -
for the light they're now percieved will never be the same.
.
A total fucking horrible day.


-Brix.

This is a good OM with plenty of intense emotion. I'm sure you have posted this before somewhere as i've read it. I liked the vocabulary it excellently fitted into the context of this verse and assisted in making it more interesting and informative. The situation would have been delicqate for people who have actually had family that is scarred from that incident and i believe the way your verse described the incident will most likely co-incide with many peoples views on that time and situation.

Overall, a very good OM and a very informative piece.
When you hhave time i'll appreciate you leaving some comment son this OM, thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290086

this is a nice piece, with a good topic... good rhyme scheme, and i like how the inners were consistent the entire piece, unlike mine, which make the flow really nice, flow was good for the most part, except a bar or two seemed a tad stretched, good grasp on vocabulary, and the length was good, not taking the piece overboard or too short, good little read Brixton, hit p my piiece "This Old Tounge" thanx and good job

I read this in the league, the piece was dope as fuck.
Like I said there, I think it impacts the British harder because we actually know all about this, and by writing about it - you opened old wounds in a sense, touching on a subject none of us really wanted to be reminded of - Kinda like United 93 has done with 9/11. This really hit me hard bro, madd props on this one.

Peace!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by D.H.Brixton

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/116000...borough150.jpg

Overcrowded Space.

1989, Hillsborough.
England.

1989.. a football game took place & in the face of a day so fine,
96 souls died. A life from every race was doomed crossing THAT line.
That line which intertwines between a pitch, and death by design.
Instead of a crowd that hollers and sits, they ignored the signs..
of a capacity crowd - beyond the times. Almost double the allowed
attendance, and innocent people were dependant on police,
not fit to preach from their presence that begged beyond belief.
A bunch of hypocritical white sheets, shit their pants at the gate,
so they kept it closed & chose to wait - sealing an opposing fate.
Yet the crowd never shifted hate..
..they only wanted an escape, far away from that twisted taste.
.
.
17 years on, and the families of those killed, still fight - strong.
& continue a constant battle of what police say is right, is wrong.
Many artists pent up, took a pen and book to right a song,
for the pride of the people who've had to fight for so long.
Straight from the Mothers tongue, a million accents and dialect
were united in grief - upon sombre they'd meet in respect
of the dead. For what's left is an unofficial truth..
with unofficial proof, that 96 people COULD have been let loose
to breath, rather than receed into their lungs which are set acute
at an angle, that they're body can't handle - so they wrangle in pain.
Making a Metropolitan Police's mantle lame -
for the light they're now percieved will never be the same.
.
A total fucking horrible day.


-Brix.

---

sad day......will always be remembered

I will edit this when I have time to write extensive feed.

Thanks. Appreciate the feed'.

Damn.. i didnt hear about this shit. That is a horrible thing man.. your piece however was pretty good. Conveyed alot of emotion without dragging it on.

Well done. I think that at times the scheme may have suffered a bit from the story itself, but when you start getting very real about your subject and concentrating on telling that story, sometimes your flow takes a small expense. Just a little editing could make this very, very good, but it already is very good. I also was unaware that this event had even taken place, so it also is a history reminder/teacher, which is a very cool thing in rap. I liked this a lot more than most of the stuff I read on here. Again, good job. Favorite part -

A bunch of hypocritical white sheets, shit their pants at the gate,
so they kept it closed & chose to wait - sealing an opposing fate.
Yet the crowd never shifted hate..
..they only wanted an escape, far away from that twisted taste.

Thanks..

meh, i must be one of few people who didn't like it but... rather than argue against the majority - i'l leave u guys to it... lol

wat u mean re-open wounds... thats stupid thing to say- people die every day. i mean if you knew one of them i'd understand but otherwise i'd probably say- stop being sensative

im gonna stop b4 i make enemies,

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Boris Funk

meh, i must be one of few people who didn't like it but... rather than argue against the majority - i'l leave u guys to it... lol

wat u mean re-open wounds... thats stupid thing to say- people die every day. i mean if you knew one of them i'd understand but otherwise i'd probably say- stop being sensative

im gonna stop b4 i make enemies,

---

lmao, you are just thick. Back up.

this is a very emotional peice,and it is written very well,you had everything in this peice,structure,imagery,vocab but what stood out the most was obviously the emotion....you did very well with this,you told the story of the hillsborough disaster very well,despair ,anger and sorrow are the emotions that stood out most.you have done a very good job writingthis and I think that this is one of the best peices I have seen here for a while,I really liked it.

return the favour
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294961

Hmm with this I thought it was gonna be great in the beggining and then when I read on I realized that its more ordinary then great. Honestly it was just ok. You couldv'e been more complex with the rhyming since the subject matter isn't exactly the most upbeat and exciting thing. I think you could make this better with a few more bars explaining the scene to make some imagery. Overall 7/10.

What I liked about this piece was its ability to relay actual historical without sounding like a lecture or making me feel like I'm in 5th period History class again. The flow in this piece original I didn't like, but when I just read it this time I actually really liked it and everything just rolled off the tongue very fluently. I liked the tone of this piece alot aswell. Kind of a synical, "i hate everyone" kind of outside view on what happend, and the way you ended it very laxidasically by just simply summing it up in "what a horrible fucking day" lol, I loved it. I loved the casaul approach, because I think if you really got all preachy with this it would have sucked and drastically alterted the overall feel of the piece. Overall, I really liked this, short sweet and to the point. Nice job man.

It'd be dope if you could return the favor on my new Om,
In the Shadows of the Livingroom
Thanks alot, I really apreciate it.

Quote:

---

boris funk


meh, i must be one of few people who didn't like it but... rather than argue against the majority - i'l leave u guys to it... lol

wat u mean re-open wounds... thats stupid thing to say- people die every day. i mean if you knew one of them i'd understand but otherwise i'd probably say- stop being sensative

im gonna stop b4 i make enemies,

---

^wtf its a topical piece dumbass stfu

Nice piece. Conveyed the story well without being too long, as people have said it wasnt like a lecture, more of a creative reminder of the events that tragically happend. its flowed well and the emotion was there to read yet it wasnt too over the top. overall i liked this piece for the emotion that was portrayed.. nice job.

You really need to close this piece.
Talking no real skills listen Bucky you need to quick for real.
You not tight you not nice you got vocab you can write.
But you lack that crack that something that seperate you from whack.
You missed me with this one no hate this piece just made decent.

damn.. this was surprisingly moving for a piece that lacked the elegant flow I'm used to seeing in top notch work.. you somehow pulled off the same impact without the multi style I see so often..

well done bro. liked this alot.

Fucking dope brix.

I feel everything, although that day could never be put in to words. Nothing could ever do it justice. Such a sad day. You portrayed it really well though and set it out simply what happened, i cant believe i didnt see this earlier. Its a dope piece, there's not much to say. Good imagery and Vocabulary but most important you made people aware that people are still hurting over this event.

Peace.