.. In Memory

.. In Memory
By: Nash
.
This, is directed toward that fun woman which we do miss
.. on forwards to that one relative you wish you could kiss
you list all the hate, you debate with Jesus, you scream ..
.. such a perfect woman it seemed, doing only good things
.
God hurts me, he lurks acrossed me ..he doublecrossed me
.. sometimes i feel like converting and that you've lost me
i use to lick the frosting, off the spoon after her cooking ..
i'm searching, for your reasoning ..i'm looking but i've cried
desperatley searching for reasoning behind this dead life ..
GOD WHY! ..such a perfect person, when i've sinned more
.. what's this life for, if you strip us furthermore then gone
it's seems so wrong, but then you punishing me for so long
starts to make me redeem myself and think more about ..
how my optimistic self moralitys are changing without doubt
my world vomits outwards on my face, spewing hatred fast
feel like kicking my own ass, parents are divorced, at last ..
.
i see SOME sign of evaporation of her death in the opperation
i begin to free the happieness and greet back her salutation
but the explanations begin to fly inside my mind, so i pray
CANCER? oh God please, say there's gott'a be another way
i cry throughout the day, i'm doubting any signal with rations
my face is a wreck i imagine. i'm pacing in a horrible fashion
my racing mind is retorical, it aint lastin'. lifes crashin down
every single sound, hits the ground in manners profound ..
brown turns to a beautiful color. black and white seem great
while as fate makes sparkling neon colors show up too late
the debate with breathing finally out lasted her hearts beating
and i just start screaming for someone to stop the bleeding
doctors still relaxing impatiently, "Oh son, that's normal there."
"Man, i could give less of a care." all around are formal stares
mines the least flamboyant of anyones there, i'm prepared ..
i run scared to the other room. where i stashed the 'fun' ..
put it to my 13 year old head, & pulled the trigger on the gun
.
it was a dead on shot. but strange how i rot, never made it
in a world more under rated than before, i felt so sedated ..
i felt belated to heaven, i was no where near. but where i fear
lay right here beside the side of my body where i lie dear ..
.
Satan, the devil, the juggornaut of the underworld. unfirled
his wrath and mighty world upon my body ever so curled ..
relentless hurling and whirling agression of forein objects ..
without discretion, parental advisory, adolecent projects ..
what's next?
an iron fist, just about to hit but missed. i felt a touch ..
.. such a touch that i felt a strand of luck, i felt SO much
Grandma, such glow, her beauty was there. she had her hair
i felt so ashamed and unprepared when i saw her stand there
.
A battle of all battles, broke loose. Grandma so dearly refused
to lose a grandson again, even with a Satanic look so amused
he grinned and fused his energy together, so obtuse i fell ..
hell wanted me still, to be there with him in the firey pitted well
then she'd stopped to TELL this demon what seemed to be ..
.. she offered her body, her soul ..her heaven, to replace me.
.
So again i say, this is In Memory, of a loved one. i was just a kid
oh, and when my grandma died. . .everyone in the family did.

Links ..
My Friend? - 40Grams
Never Let You Down - David Lama

8 views and a shit load of lazieness ..
..read it ass holes. upps

This was beautiful man, alot of emotion in this, infact the whole piece was on emotion... that really set and made the piece what it was... as you already know my nan died aswell, and i can tell you loved your grandma so much, and i think it's great how you put all your feelings to paper... I find it hard myself as there is so much emotion that is running in your head, but you really made this word beautifully, she was obviously a great woman and i know you miss her alot, but i think if she could read this, she'd be proud of you man.

To the actual piece:
As i said the emotion was great, the imagery was also well placed and put into words that only added to the emotion... the wording of the piece was very good, the vocabulary was just right for this kind of piece, if you had gone over the top on vocab you wouldhave killed the emotion, but you didn't you kept it simple yet complex in it's own respects... structually, the piece was also very good, it rhymed well and flowed of the tongue pretty smooth, But as i said, to me the raw emotion is what made this piece, you really got it down to a T... i really did feel this piece from the heart, by far my favrite work that i've seen from you, Damn i must thank you for the read, as it touched me and has almost made me cry at the topic choice and your wording.

Well done man... I'm very impressed with this piece. damn good job.

^thanks, appreciate it.

upping this for cry, c'mon this piece is worth the read people.

Shit was mad crazy. The structre was great and the flow was hott. The wordplay was decenty and the Plot was insane. 8-10 peice bro. Keep it up Aaron.

Hit up "Realism Or Fantasy".

uppin. don't sleep, i see you whores lookin' ..

bump .

nice stuff, i can also relate. to sum things you cee. can you look out for mine?
thanx

FIRST OFF...could you please make it bigger, thats why ive been putting it off......my eyes are shit.....but i still read it.


Excellent man, just a brilliant read to be honest. I related to this piece in many ways because I have lost someone that I hold dearly as well. The emotion behind your words was very powerful in a sence that after I read it I wish there was 100 more lines because of the emotion drawing you in deeper and deeper. Vocabulary you used was top notch as well. The imagery was dope as well from the stares from people and the way you described everything was just amazing. You know I havent been writing or reading OMs that long but this was just "IT".....I have however read some of your other writings and I feel this one reigns above them all. Great Job.

grams, ho...

good job lol.

nice man real nice, i like the feel, good imaging in creativity...

^mm hmm, thanks.

Ye this was classic shit right here and was very powerful.You really put a lot of emotion into this which really did it for me.Creativity and imagery were excellent too.I could of read this piece all day.I just sat here reading it over and over again to myself and I could relate to what you were saying.You have really improved from what I saw from you last and I really do think this is HoF worthey.Really captured me and was a great read

thanks.

not bad. seemed more poetic to me than anything else. had some clever lines, some good emotions and shit from here to there. no complaint really. cept you forced a couple of multis here and there. and I hate that font and size. that shit really hurt my eyes man. other than that keep dropping.

^alright, peace.

Alright..you gradually get doper and doper with every aspect of ur writing...you really impress me with most pieces you drop.....you have a great way with words in this piece, you use vocab when needed, but at the same time you make it easily understandable, the imagery and emotion were just amazing which you usually master in ur pieces so i was in aww..yet not suprised. the thing that really seem to stick out to me ...is how you made the piece seem very real yet at the same time you mixed relgious type a shit in there..which made the piece a lil more unpredicable..and exciting. i thought you did a nice job with this piece..and twisting the topic to make it creative/original


overall nice drop


KEEP UPS


RTF..on my piece Why I WRite (E.A.P Views)

thanks. will do.

upp

I dunno. some times it seems like you werent too sure about the wording, cause there was some awkwardly worded lines in there man. but others were good. it seemed more poetic than anything. it was cool and shit. I enjoyed it as a whole. only problem I had was that at times it may have been simple, and theres nothing wrong with that, but at times you tried not to be simple and it backfired cause a couple of words were used in a way they shouldnt have been used. also the size 1 you used to post this really hurt my eyes,, the font hurt me even more lol.. dont do that again man. but yeaa it was cool.

Damn Nash, this is probobly the best shit ive seen from u homie. Deep, deep shit right here. Kept me interested, very creative throughout. Nice vocab too. I liked the little twist at the end, nice. I will say the flow wasn't how i would like it, but the creativity in this makes up for it. Also, make ya font bigger dog, lol.

Great read homie.

sorry size one looked big on my comp. rofls, peace. fixed it. thanks for comments.

last upps. my next piece is going to be A LOT better than this was, so be on a look out.

up for a bit more feed?

old shit.