Laureate 2-2 Vs T-Square 0-0

Laureate 2-2 Vs T-Square 0-0

Checkins Due Thursday March 30th 11:59 PM Western
Verses Due Saturday April 1st 11:59 PM Western

Topic:The God that Failed

Leave Four Voting Links In Checkin

Fuck I dont got the links from last week, but I voted on three or four,
And I'll be voting this week, The god that failed, Who wrote that originally?
It sounds familiar, ::scratches head::

Checkin in, Like the topic, good shit, good luck Laureate,
The real Laureate was a great poet...

Best of luck man, don't know the real Laureate :( i'll have to look into it. I got my name from the Canibus song.


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=282007

Alright, I'm puttin it down right now, I'ma pure freestyle emcee, I dont write, but the shit has been workin in my head for a week, so here ya go.

I'll hit this up def..... laureate, is that not one of the greatest songs ever made, not tryin to freepost or mess you guys up, just had to give props were they are due, best of luck to both

The God That Failed

On day one through six everything was complete and created,
Day seven he felt the need to be descreet and sedated/
But On day six he made man and gave us all free will,
From then his creation has become a battle uphill/
Wanting to correct things wanting to ban the serpents,
Wishing he could believe that he was his creations, perfect/
But someone once said that theres only god can judge me,
And God himself wanted his creations to be only lovely/
But the rules he made left he himself contradicted,
Cause He set rules to leave Adam and Eve Evicted/
See to me the whole concept seems almost retarted,
Cause God had to fail the very day that he started/
:Chorus:
Forget what you know about the readings in the bible,
Disregard what you think is true and justifyable,
Look in your heart and sence all the hatin,
The Day that God Failed, He Created Satin/

Now in this day and time the near future and the present,
We all battle daily with two enourmus opposite presence/
The one of good and the one of evil constantly bickering,
When one takes over the other flame starts flickering/
But never goes out or does it ever extinguish,
Holier than thou is now jus considered coloprial english/
God didn't jus fail letting us play Kanye's Jesus Walks
He Failed back in the B.C.'s When he let his son talk/
When the words spoken were known to fall on deaf ears,
Jesus himself seemed to waste thirty some odd years/
And nowadays the money saves you via an evangalist,
Those who dont send the church there money are smokin canibus/
Oh yes they try to tell us that drugs and money are all evil,
But it was the failed god that gave that power to us people/
:Chorus:

They tell us not to seperate religions truths or fictions,
But its the very fiber thats givin us a reason for livin/
We the people all must hold glory to a historic crusifiction
As deseases leave us dead, dyin, or with our dicks itchin/
If you dont have faith in God they say we have nothing,
But Does he have faith in us or are the preachers bluffing/
Its a question we could never answer untill were deceased,
And If its all a lie I suppose we would never know at least/
Cause when it all goes black and they tell your lifes tale,
They will never mention a day in your lifetime When God Failed/


:::
Side note, I'm not very religous, I'm not very knowledged on the subject, But I do belive in god, and these are mostly questions I find myself askin, Hope yall feel it, HOLLA

The God that Failed

He looked down from heaven, took a deep breath in and
Sighed, cried, where did he go wrong and
Why, as he tried, to think way back when his son
Died, for what? Where was the path lost…

The world, failed once, so God wiped it out
The Flood, the Ark, purifying all doubt
To restart, Life, A second chance at hope
Succeed? Or fail, who sinks and who floats

And as he sat high, losing all pride while he
Thought, pondered, when did life go under the
Bar, he set, how easy it was to forget the
Laws, The Guide, that strayed from inside

War torn, bombs drop, desecration elimination
For those born, life stops, raze life and vegetation
So much hate, same fate, wage war black maps
Self interest, business, has replaced our path

He looked down from heaven, took a deep breath in to
Clear, His mind, was it his fault that so very few
Rise, to Him, now most new lives begin with
Fire, hail, where did he fail?

alright, ummm, personally good drop on both sides,
Lets jus see where the votes take us, shall we???

Word

*sniffs, sniffs*, Dope.

Quote:

---

They tell us not to seperate religions truths or fictions,
But its the very fiber thats givin us a reason for livin/
We the people all must hold glory to a historic crusifiction
As deseases leave us dead, dyin, or with our dicks itchin/
If you dont have faith in God they say we have nothing,
But Does he have faith in us or are the preachers bluffing/
Its a question we could never answer untill were deceased,
And If its all a lie I suppose we would never know at least/
Cause when it all goes black and they tell your lifes tale,
They will never mention a day in your lifetime When God Failed/

---

T-Square: I know you joined back in 2002, and back then the style of topical was completely different from what it is now. It's now the younger brother of poetry, adding a little bit of flow and shit. But you, you took a little bit of style from back in the old RB days, to the modern RB style. You mixed it up and I enjoyed that. I like the whole God perspective to the topic, very original, very uptempo. Um, usually in topicals there shouldnt be a chorus, but I see that you took that initiative to use a little bit of your 02 style and bring it here. Even though you did that, I still loved the way you put it together, I enjoyed every stanza to the fullest except for the 2nd one. All in all, you did great.

Quote:

---

War torn, bombs drop, desecration elimination
For those born, life stops, raze life and vegetation
So much hate, same fate, wage war black maps
Self interest, business, has replaced our path

---

Lyric: Hm, you did OK here. Definitly not your best. I wanted to see you come at this topic with strive and determination, but it looks as if you didnt put much effort into it. Yes, I liked the way you came at the topic, which was also a very unique spice to the match up. You were kind of speaking the truth, and you wanted to get it out. I enjoyed that part of the approach. BUT, I felt as if you didnt try as much as you usually do. Sorry man, you disappointed me. Oh, and if you post after you see this post, dont complain, because other people have a habit to do so.

V/ T Square

here's my vote.

t-Square- lengthy but reasonable. you fluttered your verse with a bunch of detail and story. You maintained fact. Reasoning with something that is more fact than fictional, but with your perspective, to me is unique and much more difficult than making a story up. Nice job on that. Your flow was sketchy at times but nothing overboard. good verse.

Laureate- You took the same type of approach as far as fact goes. Except you did it with the ark. Another excellent thought of perspective. The only problem though, that I think is a big problem, is your lack of complexity and your installment of a basic scheme. this is all that brought you down. good verse with good wisdom, but less mechanics.

vote/T-Square...better flow/complexity

good battle guys.

peACE

I was a bit disapointed in the verses. I expected a bit more from dope heads like ya selves.

T-
You had a lot of good stops with imagery was that was pretty good. What i felt a lack of was complexity. It was all very simple: from the rhyme scheme, structure, and multis. I'm a multi fan and because you had a lack, i felt that some of your lines were stretched.

laureatte:
You came more poetic and I think your imagery was better. You came better with multis for sure. I liked how you touched on Jesus, that was the first thing that came to my mind when I looked at the topic. I feel that you half assed this though.

v/Laureatte
less storym but more complex and better imagery

T-square:
This was not a demonstration of your ability to me, this to me seemed rushed and rather simple, i mean you kept on track with topic and rhyme scheme, which was good, but i still couldn't help but find it boring because of the simplicity, some people can make simple topicals sound really good, but to be honest i think you should stay complex, because i didn't realy enjoy this read to much... but hey just my opinion.

Lyric:
I loved the poetic feel to this, you know i'm a poet, so i find this style alot more creative and interesting to read, although in saying that your first stazas didn't really stand out to me, it once again seemed rushed and little effort put into that stazas, but the other stanzas i was really impressed with your imagery and the way in which you approached this topic, your rhyme scheme was very well placed ith the multis, it seemed like you rushe d alittle bit, but in my view it didn't really have a bad effect on your peice, i really liked this... well done.

V// Lyric.

vote-tsquare
though i diddnt like those/
at the end of each line/

perhaps if this was poetry contest i woulda gone for laureate.. for thine poetry cup overfloweth... but tsquare covered the whole subject more fulfillingly as far as i'm concerned..if laureate had put more into the overall verse and perhaps gone deeper..and extended the verse somewhat then it would be closer...both displayed goog rhymiing skills..but i felt tsq had the edge on rhyme skills also.....having good multies to give his joint rap flavour and flow....t put way more blatant expression into his work


vote-T-Square

t-square- nice drop i felt you structured this very well, and illustrated your points thoroughly, I also enjoyed the angle you took on this piece seemed weel thought out, however when you meet the end it seemed as if you were just looking to end this piece i felt as if i needed more closure on the subject, overall good piece.

Laueate- I like your style you used here very poetic, It came off as somewhat simple in the begining but i felt throughout it you had very valuable points and the helped increase the strength of the message, Structure was on point as well, I think that with maybe some vokab enhancements it could have been severly ill, good drop

for the reasons above im gonna have to go with laureate

however god never failed everything ever done was meant to be, so in essence nothing in or about god could fail, just had to say what i felt, good battle

overview---after reading both i found both to be simple in there own way, t square i just thought your overall thought was pretty basic, and not all that creativy or complex. laureate i know you could have been a little more wordy and complex with some lines etc.

T-square---you brought a little different style to the league which is always fine in my book, however i thought you seemd conservative, didnt really attack this piece wiht your full emotion, or writing abilities...i thoguht there was room for more enganging lines, and much more room for imagery etc...however it was a pretty nice drop, you had some good things that kept me reading aswell

Laureate---at first it seemd basic to me, more poetic which is not so much my strong point...however i re-read urs and came to find some creativity with ur rhymescheme, and saw a more indepth topic underlying what i saw as basic, and end'd up liking ur imagery/emotion and overall though process put into a relativly basic looking piece


VOTE---Laureate

Well, both came kind of off here, atleast I know lyric did not dropto his potential. He still out did t-square as far as rhyme scheme goes, it was rather decent from that perspective. A bit dry in the narative, but I think he was just dropping enough to take a win here.

T-square, um I think you need to re-think the topical scene here, this drop was good but it's just not top notch as far as topicals go today. You didn't have anything standout, and the rhyme scheme was that of an 80 rap song. That just does not cut it in this league, works good in audio, but in SS it will not get you to a tittle match. I know this from experience, try some new techniques out, incorperate some complex rhyme schemes and work out the other components of a solid topical verse. Prose can be what you make it, but in SS it has elevated to something greater than blah blah blah rhyme, blah blah blah rhyme. This is not Front lines, this is not LLL, this is not OM, this is Sacrid scriptures and there was nothing exemplfying that in your verse.

Both could have came better, but heck I dropped a shit garbage verse myself this week, let's just pick it up next week.

vote = lyric

wow I'm not quite sure if I miscounted, but its extremely close, is it 4-4 on votes, fuckin A good drop on both sides then Laureate, why the fuck does everyone keep callin you Lyric tho???

because his name used to be lyric and most of the older heads know him as lyric...

5-3

Laureate wins 3-2
T-Square loses 0-1