Sometimes Death is Necessary.

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March 18th, 2006, 11:05 AM
topher

Sometimes Death is Necessary.

Sometimes Death is Necessary

The Killer.

Sweat drops to my face,while I point the laser of the gun i held.
My mind out of place,whether the fact I shall bring this man hell.
For my life is on line,and i tremble with the pressure of this man.
Is this right?Or is it wrong?But my life in air,or my life about to land,
Into a firey guilty conscience,where Satan will not hault to no mercy.
My mind...This man haunts it,Hurt this man?Or let the other one hurt me?
A mind of fury,and confusion."What have I done to deserve this pain?"
The man who says I have commited sin,Says im about to gain my fame.
I thought and think...Is this all i wanted in life,gold rings,and publicity.
All wants and not needs,things i should've known would've ridiculed me.
Now I still have the chance.Should I run,risk my life just for this other...
Or should I kill him,and save me...I thought,and put my finger to the trigger.

Real Killer?

I snicker at this fool,does he not now atleast know the game.
Pain comes once pain is given,yet he ponders to what choices to make.
As he still makes decisions,Im here persuading him into stupidity.
He has made sin,and shall find out the hard way to get rid of me.
I tell him patiently,and slowly,you will die unless that bullet hits.
He reply's vastly Im a man with no life,and being a piece of shit.
I laugh at his remarks,and said "Don't you get it?Your the best..
Because from the rest who have played,they have pain lying on their chest.
I pity you at times,for you are in danger...danger of holding life...
Holding it right in your hands,and you are oblivious to know what's right.
This could be a winning fight,yet your mind can't comprehend the facts?
Think,think,think...Is all you need at times,yet you always seemed to lack.
I put you in your place,to realize that you are wrong,and here to make right."
He answers back to my face "Killing a man?That's what you seem is right?"
"He has commited sin as well,and you are both fighting for your lives.
You both also are going to suffer hell,because time is what you strive.
And as sweat,tears,and pain has gone through their minds and thoughts.
The main target still fears,what he's waiting for,standing where he shall rot."

The Killer.

As I still peer into the to this man,am I about to kill with my own hands.
His or mine will land,into the ground,and i have the choice because I can.
I take a last look,and i again once put my finger towards the trigger again.
Hands shook,I take a count down,to this man's death,one to ten....
Ten,Nine,Eight,Seven,Six,Five,four,Three,Two,One.. All I hear is a silent click.
The man I have now shot,lies on the floor to die,as i shiver quick.
I hear people yelling and scared,and as I see the hood over his face reveals,
My own loving father,I bared to look,that I am responsible,im the one who killed...

Once down from the Building,I drop to my knees,the puddle of my own blood
Remove more of the cover,and sit down over my father's black hood.
I sit in astonishment,tears falling towards my chest I got up and walk.
I see the man who had control over me,and comes up to me and talks...
"You didn't win the game"...and as he takes off his cloak,my eyes open wide,
An Nypd badge,with everything and his name,I stand weary and surprised.
In this sick and twisted mind game,he pulls his gun up and cocks it...
"Why...Please why?" He laughs,and in a a few seconds,all i hear is 'Click'.

Sometimes...To find the truth and deceny in people many.
Putting them in a position to find it out...Death is Necessary.

SS verse.

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...06#post4142706
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=279976
March 18th, 2006, 11:52 AM
topher

Up.
March 18th, 2006, 12:33 PM
Topical

yo man this was a very nice peice.
You had tha plot down.
Nice strucre and flow.
work on vocab aiight?
Thanks for makin something worth reading.
Peace.
March 18th, 2006, 12:38 PM
Seneka

Yeah this is a good song, the flow is nice and the rhyming is alright. The storyline is consistant and stays on track which isn't easy. They say use better vocabulary but Mark Twain never did and he was known as a great author so it really isn't that important. Maybe we can collab one of these days or whatnot.
March 18th, 2006, 02:11 PM
Antonio Banderas

Quote:

Originally Posted by Topical

yo man this was a very nice peice.
You had tha plot down.
Nice strucre and flow.
work on vocab aiight?
Thanks for makin something worth reading.
Peace.

I agree, I really liked the creativity that you have incorporated in your drop. You did a good job with the deliverance of this drop and it seemed pretty original. This was a very deep and compassionate writing.
March 18th, 2006, 03:57 PM
topher

Up and thank you.Leave links,will return the favor.
March 18th, 2006, 04:02 PM
Saint Jerzey

WoW my nigga, this was crazy,
everything was good, only thing messing was maybe a chorus
but it was REAL GOOD, hall of Fame Statuz my dude,
u really kno how to use all ur words, u from queens right?
i kno its hard livin in the Rotten Apple, im from the bronx
We Getz no Break, so u using those big words in a good way is saying alot
Hood Nigga's Can Be Great, if they gave us a Chance
Real Good Job my nigga
March 18th, 2006, 04:04 PM
Saint Jerzey

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280171

^return the Favor? thnx my nigga
March 19th, 2006, 02:41 PM
topher

Up.
March 19th, 2006, 05:25 PM
topher

God damn people.....
March 19th, 2006, 05:29 PM
terep

this was a gd strong drop, the only thing i will say, is there was to many i, me, us etc, try to use different wordings for it, i know it is hard sometimez, but ther are places that it could be done, but on the whole a very nice drop blud. keep it up. 1
March 19th, 2006, 05:32 PM
terep

return the favour

http://rapbattles.com/forum/member.php?u=49933

peace blud. i b lookin out for more of your stuff
March 19th, 2006, 06:38 PM
Plain-Thug

I liked the layout of this peice....strucutre and flow were excellent, even and smooth
nice complex rhyme scheme..imagery was good and it was helped by excellent vocab
topic was interesting and pretty creative...this was a good read overall and it was enjoyable....keep it up man..peace
March 19th, 2006, 11:45 PM
TopP1aya

yo man really felt this.
Strcutre anmd flow was great.
Wordplay was masterfull.
Didnt really feel tha plot but you got it down.
9-10
Keep it up homie.
March 20th, 2006, 01:02 AM
chitown_mex11

yup the story is str8, i just think you need 2 mix up the rhyme scheme a little from the typical a-a b-b style, but overall itz good
March 21st, 2006, 03:52 PM
topher

People.....Leave........Feed.............
March 21st, 2006, 04:16 PM
B.I.Detained.

Ok, I'm stuck between a rock and hard place with this. Whereas, you have shit loads of potential, and are starting to write quite fluently, and then there is the flaws with this piece itself. The concept is something that has been trodden across a thousand times on Rb; Son kills Father, Father kills son, the guilt etc. Your biggest trait needs to be, staying away from concepts like this. Although you did give your own, nice perspective to it.. it just sounded like a broken record. Also, I know I sound like a whiner, but work on your grammar - a lot. Honestly, man, I can't tell you how annoying it is to read a piece, that has so many tenses in. Past, present and future tenses all get muddled up here. E.g. Think - when it should have really been Thought. Work on aspects that you think you can improve, just by re-reading your piece before posting it. Although I've gone on a little bit, this was a decent piece Ref'.. I'll definately be keeping an eye.

-Brix.