The Hero that lead to Evil.

The hero that lead to evil...

Nested in blood, his organs were vital, from good to bad
A catastrophe he is, no thoughts but a writing pad...
Hidden beneath people’s eyes, courageous he was
People heard of him, and still liked him with no type of cause
Internal thoughts had risen, visions of marry go 'rounds
Drowned people in nouns, elected mayor with no expounds
Delusional hate characteristics and faith, with no remorse
As if his soul was in divorce, manners were non coarse...
Looked up to him as a believer but he was all notorious
His personality made me curious, flipping coins, he's spurious
Saved people's life for a living, his devious ways...he’s never giving
Never stayed out late & always went in to apt. 207...
Murder on the news, TV blacked out, I could tell this was strange
Where was the hero to be found? Shocked I was, he made a big change
Change of the multiples in his essence, worlds not in his presence
Killing & Rape is what he's sentenced, his moves was hesitant
People looked up to him, embarked his every move, he's no legend...
Just another man made fiction, with bad ways and distractions...
Some say he went bad, drinking liquor, mind stuck in manual
Gas on the palm of his hands, spreads beneath him, looks live olive cloves
Crooked ways to attempt his problems, like a mind with no fluid
Destructible in all type of ways and parts, no way to "cool it"
He's in jail...makes no attempt to think, doesn't care he's speechless
Says his "duty was success", never will he get out, nor be blessed

3 years later..

My mind is broken, shades torn apart, I'm losing it
Worn apart bit by bit, stressed and hit by a stone pit
Clever...I wasn't.... Judged....yes, hero....nah
Hesitated in every cause, I was a hero gone bad...not a star
These jail cells bind my mind together, stuck in 2 separate joints
One side hate and one side good, but look at it like what’s the point?
Guards lay low; I'm on death row... Trial set to be executed soon...
Shall I see you on the other side? Or see a new phase of the moon
The chair... yeah it was there, just to soon body shakes and shivers
Getting shattered into pieces, stabbed in every part of my liver
What have I done wrong, I was a hero, helped and touched souls
But you see now we behold, somebody’s heart brought out cold...
Murder...Rape...Assault, what was I thinking, I’m over and done with
I sit in the chair..... I’m SHOCKED. Time to start my OWN.....myth

Moral of the story

Lives are giving; spring is chirping heroes are always there...
One fault and you'r gone, with no last prayer..............

Links:

Link #1
Link #2

Bump.

Not bad yo, getting better. I'll edit this post in with respectable feed, just gimme some time foo.

Good to see that im getting better! w00t.

I couldn't really get this piece da first time so I read it over twice and still didn't really get it. Unfortunately, I found it quite simple vocab-wise and imagery-wise and found your descriptions to be too abstract which made the piece difficult to identify with. Overall I would say that this could have been better.

Check out mine and tell me what you think:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=278657

Then read it over again slut, lol jp.

Bump.

this piece was good....well writtin also. i liked the whole way you set the concept up fams. the flow was okay, but not the best. you had an amazing structure also, the vocab was okay, but the imagry was well visionary. real clear to understand....keep writing fams.... chekc the om in the sig fams

Thanks for the feed man.

Bump, Bump, Bump.

this was dope shit nice creativity flow was ok structure was good and i like the emaginary you also done well with the wordplay keep it up peace~kc

nice drop man, had some tight imagry in it, structure was so so, flow was off in some parts, try using multies also

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Bump.

this piece was good....well writtin also. i liked the whole way you set the concept up fams. the flow was okay, but not the best. you had an amazing structure also, the vocab was okay, but the imagry was well visionary. real clear to understand....keep writing fams....

Thanks for the feed.

Nicely done my man. Im glad to see stuff like this in my first week being on RapBattles. First off, your topic here was nice, it was not a played topic, nor did you use it improperly. You did a very well job on approaching it. Your rhyme shceme was ok. It could have been slightly better, adding more multies in the mix, but you did do a good job. The flow became choppy in some parts, but nothing serious. The structure was fine, easy to follow along with. Overall, nice job Silas. Im looking forward to seeing more from you in future reference. You have the potential of becoming a great writer someday. But as of now, your above average.

Please return the favor on my own work:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=279120

Thanks for the feed, last bump.