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Psycho Analyis
Warning:Read Intro before reading verse.I must warn anyone that is religious to not read this verse iight.
PSYCHO ANALYSIS
[Intro]
Frustration, it’s like mental constipation,
I’m stuck and separated from the world – segregation,
Adulation idolization glorification and exaltation,
These are things I lack to my complete consternation,
I’m running out of patience, I’ve been persuaded to stay and,
Can’t remember the last time I experienced elation,
Masturbation, ejaculation by myself in the dark basement,
Tasting my seed to the dismay of mental concentration,
Relapsing in a wave of crazes, defecation in my face for ages,
I try to reestablish gratification amongst my fellow Caucasians,
But I seem to fit in better with Africans and Asians,
No adulation, only humiliation,
Heart racin’, I get up and start pacing, I’m deranged and,
Parables from ancient sages scribbled on the pavement,
The 12 phases of terrorization making,
Memorization of the scene of the murder of my brother Jason,
Lacing the rope around my neck, my blood runs cold like glaciation,
And no longer is it possible to perform inhalation.
[Interlude]
*Sounds of someone choking, rope squeaking*
Dyl
Hello?
Dyl!
Uh…
Dyl
What!
*laughs*
[Verse – Dyl / (conscience)]
(Tell me, Dyl, what is your worst fear?)
Yo,
My worst fear is the first tear that bursts here, caused by mirth and jeers,
The earths queer, since its birth year but I prefer the fear,
To the pain that fear brings, the result of taunting,
Flaunting, pointing its gnarled fingers straight in my direction,
Fear is a crazed ghost and I seem to be its obsession,
In its possession, in a position where I cant find no escape,
People laughing as I trip and fall and land flat down on my face,
For fuck’s sake, I’m in a luckless state,
Stuck in a whirlpool of fear that leads to pain,
The pain leads to my anger, and anger infects my brain,
Corrupts the membrane, the nerves and impulses,
I become a walking killing machine, human version of the vultures,
Repulsive, innards spilling out from the stomach,
Pummeling it, the organs in my hands – I’m juggling it,
Blood running about, streaming around on the ground,
Frowned and killed myself in a second without a sound.
(Yo, D, what do you think is up with all this violent shit?)
You listen to me, to be free means to counter it,
Like pirates, I’m always willing to take what doesn’t belong to me,
I just keep silent, steal the shit and even though the contrary,
Belief is that the Dyl is a murderer,
A mindless motherfucker that can’t get any further and,
The truth is I am the essence of the purest evil,
The Ten Commandments don’t mean sh!t to me like letters written in Hebrew,
God has forsaken me, taken me as nothing more than a joke,
But I can see through his bullsh!t, fake @ss fucker, what it connotes,
To your mental images when someone speaks of; ‘religion is,
The key to free the sinners and please flee if you can’t believe it then,
Cos truthfully speaking, THAT’S where all the violence comes from,
I just take it; twist it, so it keeps the god fearing silent until,
They just think about it, get p!ssed off and drink about it,
Go home, fuck their kids and beat their wives till they pink and cowards,
Then the kids grow up with the exact same problems,
Until the entire world is infected with this nonsense,
So that’s why I wanna be so evil and so vicious,
I hope it’ll end one day and fulfilled will be my wishes.
(So you’re telling me you don’t believe in a higher being?)
To tell you the truth, all I believe is something I can see and,
If it’s invisible and there’s no proof of anything,
Then what the fuck’s the problem with a girl having a bellying?
(But really then, where do you think you are now?)
I don’t now, but I’ll bet it’s nowhere near heaven or hell,
I’m guessing that you’re my very own conscience,
The one that decides what’s right and wrong, a neuron concoction,
Options for myself to figure on which to choose,
Which will make me into a winner, or which will make me lose,
But I refuse to accept that you’re anything more than that,
According to my rules, there is no god for me; I’ll mourn in fact,
If I find out otherwise, I think I’ll kill myself,
The death in my brothers eyes is too real and wealth,
And poverty is just too depressing to be godly,
Covering up the problems, trying lessening the bodily,
Pains and suffering but it just doesn’t work,
Understand it; for once just see through the mirth.
(But come on, man, then where did everything come from?)
I’m from my mother’s womb and in the end I’ll be in a tomb,
I’ll hold a ransom on anybody who wants to live trapped in a cocoon,
Know about the big bang, a singularity from nothingness,
That’s my type of god, not Jesus and all this other sh!t,
That people be fucking with, changing the rules to suit them,
Route them towards us and force us to use them,
Everything can be explained, if you just take time to think about it,
There’s no need to rack your brains if you logically reflect about it.
(Maybe you’re right, but then what about Satan,
He’s the opposite of God, the one that instigates ‘em)
Like I told you, its excuses made up to please the people,
There’s as much truth in Satan as Sméagol from The Lord of the Rings sequel,
Evil is human creation and occasionally natures interference,
Nothing to do with god or Satan, just a story for parents,
To scare their kids into thinking that they’re impure,
Bullsh!t, these kids now need my voice to be their cure.
(So Dyl, what was your life’s favorite moment?)
Getting married, having kids, living life without potent,
Religion ruining my family, so then,
My childhood to a teenager to an adult to an old man,
I loved every second of it, cos I didn’t accept god’s plan,
My work I did on earth, hobbies, studies and enjoyment,
If you can’t understand the meaning of life, it’s your employment,
As a member of the human race to improve and reach higher,
Soothe and grew flyer; prove the true liar wrong,
Use a few fire tongs to move the new climate on,
And understand what I’m saying, life can be the shit,
That is if you don’t fall into the venomous pit,
But now its enough answers, it time for me to ask the questions,
Where the hell am I, am I dead, alive or resting?
(You are dead, my good friend, it the end of your life,
No more struggles, no more pleasure, no more hatred or strife,
You’re buried in a coffin, ten feet beneath the surface,
Worms are consuming your flesh; it’s the end of your purpose.)
Sh!t happens I guess, I’ll never know what drove myself to murder me,
(Its ok buddy, we’re both stuck down here for eternity.)
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wow. this was nice peice man. your structure was good, your flow was consistent at all times. it was an easy piece to read, vocab was really good. nice topic, i really liked it. :) good drop homie
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Lets get some more feed iight
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nice man good flow about 8/10 like i think an i wish to c ya feedback in 1 of ma post
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iight uppin this looking for some good feedback
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Come on feed on this shit
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yo this shit was dope you was luaghin and sjit thats funny it's like a lil interview man this shit gets a 9.3/10 yo dope drop nice multis it was like many topics in this one piece that was real creative to do that dope drop Dyl keep it up good thing you in my crew lol stay up like this,and UI can't see how yall sleepin on this nigga~1~
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I thought the intro was a bit forced in feel, it was packed with multies, but they were doen in a fashion that just didn;t complement the meter or tone of the peice. You could have set the scheme up to better complement your word choice, good vocab doesn't ehlp a peice unless it's well planend in scheme.
The verse it self was good, just kind of weak in story telling, you could have done better in discription and emotive projection, technically speaking you hit the components but never used them to YOUR best advantage. The read was one that seemed to drag, mostly due to the issues I've already mentioned, so you need to better balance your writers voice with the technical components of a write. Style was not original, so that kind of took away from it too. Stucture worked, but I think you could have chose a better format, something along the lines of poetic stanzas intermixed with dynamic rhyme schemes to help keep a fresh feel to your verse. It kind of got redundant in terms of asthetics and appeal. You have down the technical issues, now infuse them with some artistic tricks to help win your audience over.
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ight man thats some good feed tanx for that
uppin
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this was mad sick homie... loved the multi's the concept was pretty original... vocab was above par homie sick shit, i like that you say what you want no matter what anybody thinks, thats rare to find on this site... keep it up homie...
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yeah this was pretty nice.. the story could of been fused a lil better i reckon.. for some of the emotion and reflections became a bit seperated
like u mentioned the death of a brother in 1 line.. then move on to something else.. then come back to it later.. instead of say breaking that recollection down within the same bars,, had some good obscenities..which gives it entertainment in my eyes fosho
maybe a couple of visuals or graphic mettas wud be mo good
pz
flowed well.. kept consistant..
good works
