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A Relaxed Realization
Shit a little stressed, but I feel after this shit I’ll be simply refreshed
Never knew how to be that nigga that cares more instead of less
Shit I’m blessed! And God if ever I been blessed, trust its gone now
Felt like the odds this time was to odd for a King to remain wearing a crown
A non-living mothafucka keeping the eyes on the prize
Fuck trying to rise, cause day by day I struggle jus to get by
Another nigga in the ghetto?...…..Shit I’ll accept that
no future for a nigga actually trying to make it,
.....cause hoodshit is nothing but setbacks
do u hear that,………… shit………..,nothing but setbacks
smoke the blunt until I’m calm watch my future
......from far away and jus maybe perhaps
I’ll be dead before any more disappointment throws me off track
cause I’ll never be recognized on the level that Bush at
I stay wit these rhymes, one at a time
Brake them down jus incase ya wonder who I is, ya can press rewind
Tape the shit, matter a fact ya can take my clip
Take everything so when I’m gone only thing
......left is the truth a nigga spits from his lips
I won’t quit! I admit I did from the beginning
Cause to a blind nigga loosing seems easier then winning
And if niggaz want a show, shit I’ll put on a clinic
Remain myself while I push niggaz who don’t believe…..to the limit
And as far as joy in my life, funny, cause this time it wasn’t taken
Have u ever given up something valuable for a good reason
……….but at the same time knew it was a mistake
I have! Which way to go from here, shit I don’t know
Never loved no body simply because I never seen a real diamond glow
Blow in the breeze and stay in place, not blow away
Jus a beautiful sparkle of what they call amazing grace
But I can’t lie to ya I seen it once
She was as beautiful as the rays that burn off the sun
Hard to picture it, cause at that moment I was no longer a villain
A creation like this shit, ah mahn……one in a billion
Had to leave though cause a nigga didn’t deserve her
Didn’t want to fuck her future up so a nigga jus up and deserts her
But I learned one thing this pass yr. bout pain in Sorrow
Something we all should know before we see Tomorrow
No matter how much pain and hurt we have and success we did or didn’t
The only thing we can do with life is simply just live it
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Drop was gd shit
Flow not bad
Structure improvin
Rhymth kk
keep@it
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Your first link was a line and a half of feedback and a big-assed quote, the second was from a piece released more than 2 months ago. Put in 2 links you replied to recently with decent feedback or this gets closed.
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yo this was hot. it was a long read but it kept me wantin to read it. it had great imagery an some vocab. i liked the way you rymed in this. it flowed very good. just keep doin ya thang. oh an i would put two more threads cause johnny ain't playin. he hates it when peeps break the rules. but i'm just lookin out for ya dawg. peace out
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is that good for you homie
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I liked the structure & ur flo was TIGHT...this is the 2nd piece i seen & it's always floin' from ur heart.
U alwayz create a good image in our minds--somethin any1 could relate 2, whether it happened 2 them or not.
I especially liked ur vocab.--it was simple but it kept everything 2gether.
It's 1 of those pieces that u don't need "big" words 2 make it vibe--it does it on its own.
Ur structure kept it interesting & my fav. part was the last part--where u talk bout whatchu learned...it tied everything 2gether!
Keep postin'
R u out da forces now, or what? (I'm wonderin' where u get ur "inspiration.")
By the way, thnx 4 chkn my OM out, appreciated the feed & yeah, that was Spanish!
-Mari
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Sup, this was actually not bad. Your content was well on point and you never really let the subject slip. It was a nice message which we've all heard a thousand times. Just live for the moment. But you did it in yur own way which was cool. On the down side, using vocab' such as "nigga, capping etc" just dents your piece. I know its venting, but it reminds too many peeps of all that gangstah bullshit. I'm glad in your second verse, you opted to keep it on the d/l.. all in all, your flow was a little off, bt your content was constant. Props, man, keep writing.
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shiiiiiiiit thankz fo da feed jo. uppin
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yo dawg could you vote on this battle against zhi zhi wang?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270147
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yea man this shit was iight nigga good flow and all keep it up
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Couldn't really follow the flow..it was alright I guess..some nice lines here and there.
But I learned one thing this pass yr. bout pain in Sorrow
Something we all should know before we see Tomorrow
^Decent.
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Wow, Thats all i gotta say is wow
U Really Did good in dis one
The flow was Great & da Wordplay WaS perfect
U Hit Multies alot also, The Rhymes went perfect 2day
I Felt alot of Imagery, U Should keep writing
Im lookin Forward to read more shit from u
keep it up
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you had emotion,and even the little bit of emotion you displayed was short lived,your wordplay and rhymescheme were both simple and not too short of elementary,but you have some potential,id just loose tha gangsta shit,bring it more lyrical and hip hop,everyday shit,lyricism in its purest form.i aint dissin your shit im just givin you my opinion.keep droppin and elevatin.~1`
