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Commandments
GOD gave us 10 holy commandents for us 2 follow and praise
strange to think our days are full of sin.10 commandments will fade
holy sentences are no were to be found, no were in the ground
sounds of sin drown inscripted lines into darkness and it pounds
this dark box of everlasting night.it want 2 be opened and read
ova again like love wit ur chick.it seems every 1s heart is dead
beats on ur chest. reading the words line by line but ignored instead
discrace our world and universe we were not meant 2 be created
we will be wiped out and taken away like the last book in the bible stated
refill ur heart with love and holy greatness of gods great culture
pick ur sins outta ur chest and eat them like gods holy vultures
no doctor or even savior can help u to renew ur christian virginity
think goin in a Holy box an sayin u messed up is gonna help.........
...........................are u kidin me...............................
promises of renewal never come quickly or even come at all
have a brain sesiure and hit up god but u mad when he never calls
u expect to get a favor from a stranger cause u neva spoke 2 him
but when ur in grave trouble u suddenly wanna turn christian........
............................ all yall is real dim......................................
i dont need any arguments or commentry
thou shall not commit adultery
are u kiddin me lets move on because no one kno's scriputers of our savior
thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor
u all are trators even me no need to explain jus scroll the mouse
thou shall not covet anything of ur neighbor’s house
that means dont steal his wife or even a meal
thou shall not steal.
who here has taken some thin without payin the fee?
thou shall have no other Gods before me
clear enough????????already have commited enough damage
thou shall not make for yourself any carved image
we have resorted 2 this mite not notice but we are very slowly
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy
go to church...........dont give it the cold shoulder
thou shall not murder
every day it happens i wont even try 2 bother
Honor your father and mother
dont jus say ur relaed to them beacsause u have the same last name
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain
Now confront urself an think about it ur a real frod
we have forgotten the lines in the holy scriptures that are most closely god
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aye .... excellent work i love the way you put the ten commandments into yu own words and you terrific word play . you scripture is very true and i could surely use it to better my self.
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i hope you continue to do this kind of work and better as you contiue in your life
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dam i can vote now thats great........................
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ay dis some shit at least say if it was god or bad.damn
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i thought it was really cool, it wasreally creative to have the 10 commandments in the song, then a little line after it and it all came together pretty well, keep up the good work
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nice piece of work son. the overall flow was nice and you definitely have imagination when it comes to verse sculpting and vocab. My advice would be to add lines in once in a while that arent super creative other wise it just kinda sounds like your reading out of the dictionary. Mad talent and all the best in the future, keep writing
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Good piece, decent topic, good use of vocabs, flow was there, not that much imagery. keep it up homey lookin to see more from you
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thanx my dude rize..........
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I like this piece, good topical and good creativity yo, this shit's above par when it comes to a topical, good wordplay n vocab. i wanna see more like this peeps, stay up and i'll be on the lookout for more of your work
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I really liked the concept of this piece..and the creativity to incorporate the 10 commandments themselves within the text..your vocab was pretty consistent for the most part..your structure wasn't set up to well however..you should've made the text smaller so that the line breaks would be more clear, that would help with catching your flow..also you should've lengthened some of the lines to keep the flow smooth at the end for example:
"that means dont steal his wife or even a fuckin meal
thou shall not steal.
who here has taken some thin without payin the fee?
thou shall have no other Gods before me"
^^you probably should've worked on your flow there..the syllables per line were really inconsistent..overall i enjoyed reading this piece, fixing those things that i mentioned would've made it even greater but i'd give it a 7/10...keep elevating and keep writing..oNE
please hit up my OM: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268442
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thanx my dude rize........................
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i liked this piece sum reason
i liked how u put the 10 commandments into the drop
flow was ok - wrk on tht
same with da structure
rhymin was gd, jus wrk on gettin it a bit more complex in sum places
can u hit up the battle in my sig plz???
