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Runnin' From The Law
I was drivin' over 100 MPH from the cops i was nervous indeed
By the way i was drivin' it felt like playing Need for Speed
The cops were getting closer and closer i knew it
I thought of pulling over, but then i thought "Screw it"
Going to jail was now the last thing in my mind
I ran outta gas, but that didnt matter, they were way behind
Suddenly I saw helicopters hovering above me, now im done
Now I knew that I had no choice but to run
I went in the woods, away from the hood
Theyd find me somehow I know it, that was understood
I felt like cryin, betta yet, i felt like dyin'
This shit wasnt fun nigga I aint lyin
If i knew they were gonna find me, whyd a bother tryin?
This was it, I came out of the woods tired and gave up
If my friends or family wanna to bail me out they betta save up
When i stepped onto the sidewalk those cops went right past
I was amazed escape this crime but this was the last
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aight uppin...c'mon i actually need feed on this one since hardly anyone left feed on my last thread
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uppin..cmon dont sleep i need some feed
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not bad.....topic was iight..rhymes were pretty good..multeis too....flow as descent......vocab was simple..elevate on the complexity and imagery.....maybe a lil bit complexer rhymes.......overall this was ok..keep elevating..peace---
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Nice verse, good imagery and your rhyme scheme was good. I think you had a lot going for this verse, but near the end, I just wasn't really feeling the way it ended. It seemed a bit abrupt. If you made it longer and got into more of the detail of the situations, I think you would've had a much better verse. But other than that, this was a straight piece.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=262818
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aight thanks both of u for the feed.... uppin for more and status unknown ill leave u sum feed on urs
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Decent piece.The topic was very well played,in similiar and exact ways,but if you did get better you couldve mae it better.The concept too was well playeed as well.The vocab was decent because you didnt use types of multies that were big or unique.The structure was ok,but the flow wasnt all ok though.Over all elevate and get better dude.
pz.Also check the Open Mic:Only to forgive.
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uppin...thanks for the feed
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Original Topic.....
Concept was understood....Wordplay an vocab was average...This was just something simple...Next time think of something un original and use above average word use an vocab...
Drop feed on one of the Open Mic's in my Sig
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uppin again...couple more ups and im done
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This was an okay drop you had an okay topic good use of vocabs but I really couldnt feel your flow, you didnt have a bad structure. Overall it was pretty tight. Keep it up
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aight thanks man uppin for more feed
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uppin... 1 more after this and im done uppin
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You had a clear understanding of where you wanted this one to go, but when I got to the end I felt like it just kind of hit a wall. Sometimes simple is good, it's the easiest way to get your message across. But for my personal taste I like to see vivid immages and tricky word play. Check out "The wrongs of Africa". He did an outstanding job. All in all...I liked it. it made me smile. Keep 'em commin.
