-
Dead Life
The tightened pressure exerts the steam within
With these beats bumpin to lyrics ive written
Dimensions of thoughts combust at the core
Leakin the message as the chaos turns to war
The life forms together model the domino theory
Eliminates every hypothesis and many inquiries
The true answer has appeared in our vision
Everyone shuts up, stopped actions and listens
If nature was born to self destruct whats been made
With blood, bones, dead bodies nailed by grenades
Then the creator helped the suicidal destruction
By the material things and the money consumption
Lead by powers who told us we knew nothing
Cause hatred is easy to feel with lack of loving
Maybe everything we build eventually falls to a force
We may never know due to an unknown source
Rebels band together as the animals fight each other
Everyone gets fucked up calculated by the numbers
The dead rise again to make things complicated
Electricity shuts off as the phones arent operated
Lines disconnected with the sparks flare in the air
Everythings quiet, warriors formulate in bundles and pairs
Every creature lines up for judgement to be resolved
Circulate on the surface each group then revolves
As midnight struck pitch black with stars as lights
The attack mode paints a picture of an unthinkable sight
Ignites anger and hatred into a blood bath everywhere
Sea creatures drain the water as the flesh tears
Oceans dry as fires spark across the dried up land
Storms threaten the Earth as hurricanes blow sand
Its between me and you we view the atmosphere
Everyone focused on the death of another peer
The fightin sparks, hell emerges upon the ground
Ressurrects Satan as the bodies drowned
Blood floods the streets where nature dies
Life has ended and continuation is denied
Hell rebels but heaven self destructs together
Neither persist in existence is the drama setter
Night fades as light comes to the surface
Life died and all was left was the rap verses
-
-
-
This was pretty dope, there was alot of imagery and i think u made it a point for that to be prominent and you accomplished that, the lines weren't too complex but they where good enough to not be simplistic. "If nature was born to self destruct whats been made", i like that line alot, for some reason it stands out to me, the last line was a nice touch to the verse even though i didnt really see where that fit in, overall it was a couple of good verses. Hit up "Just like he said" in my sig, thnx.
-
i like this piece its pretty dope, nice insights and you write alot of nice lines like
"Cause hatred is easy to feel with lack of loving" n "Night fades as light comes to the surface/ Life died and all was left was the rap verses" sick way to end it
-
-
-
pretty nice yo..good poetry fosho.. tite struture and rhyming skills in and out..
i liked the second verse/stanza the best.. it just seemed to flow more complete.. and maybe had a firmer vocab to it.. second verse also had the better imagery.. but yea the 1st verse was a decent introduction in retrospect...
diddnt like the opening 2 lines that much but they worked i guess..
still the ending was good both rhyme wise and in concept...
some lines seemed like they could of had a little more to it...particaly in the last verse.. some lines seemed a lil incomplete for want of a verb or 2
other than that
nice drop...
check this out yo
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=261974
pz
-
-
-
it was tight
good job my nigga
8/10
-
uppin, an no shit feedback like noxious did
-
wun word 2 define dis "DOPE" fa real... lurved da way u started it and ended it..
it flowed perfek, niice structure, very clear & very creative... overall i'll rate it 10/10
wun lurv...
-
i 4got 2 add - u had a very gud use of vocabulary 2... nice wun....
-
i like this piece its pretty Nice, nice Thoughts and you write alot of nice lines like
"Cause hatred is easy to feel with lack of loving" n "Night fades as light comes to the surface Life died and all was left was the rap verses" sick way to end it......but this wasnt the best.....keep elevating
-
^Hell you didnt read my fuckin piece, ya copied part of it from another dude who replied.
Uppin
-
