Wasted Talent.

Wasted Talent

Its been about 3 years of verses dispearsed for peers...
with jeers, curses and a surpluss of clear worthless tears.
I've unearthed some fears & birthed many a story of beer...
Some were boring to hear, others were adored by the ear.
Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.
Some kept me closer to dropping shit as i chose not to quit.
Others exposed sloppyness in my prose to stop me a bit.
Got me to just.. not to copy shit & find my own style.
So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent
See, even recently i've written poorly more frequently
and have yet to stream my voice on any known frequency.
These words speak to me, but I just repeat them secretly
like I have an album that I want to keep from leaking. We..
all have hopes and wishes we expect to come true.
But the truth is.. not many, if any, actually do.
Alot of these con's act like they got a contract or two.
And some do, but the rest just get the facts all askew.
They are wack.. so they attack the new jacks who
just want cats to react with some feedback. Through..
out my time on the net i've gotten & given respect.
But i've come to accept that my position is less..
than those who let all of thier ambitions progress.
Consequently, i guess.. my admission is this...
I'm on a road to nowhere.. YES.. ignorance is bliss.
Still, im vigorously pissed fame is igg'n me. Dissed..
by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed.
I trained to spit, but never got passed save & print.
The only one to blame is Rich. Im short changing my wish..
by staying the same old way.. i know.. its lame & bitch.
Its a shame I dont switch.. to different mind frame & twist..
my fate so it exists on the same plane as say.. a Jay & Kiss.

good rhyming n scheming.. tite flow..content was ok.. structure yeah..vocab...ok not too hot.... couple cliches were a bit meh..multies fine..could of had a few more mettas or similies to liven it a bit i'd say .. just my quick opinion...
a pretty ill piece still..especialy the flow and consistancy was real good

1

Thanks man. Appreciated.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=255653&page=1
peep it "The Prophet: Man vs Machine"

hot multies, it really helped the flow, and the structure was nice, good job with that, this would sound doep on audio, and the topic, though it's been done before, is still not completely played out, also the vocab wasnt that big, try upping that, otherwise, good job, wordplay was pretty good and flow was on point.

stay back

Well man, this is the first Ive read from you. And, Im not dissapointed at all, I actually enjoyed this read like all fucking hell. This shit touched me in a way man, I can actually feel your emotion here, I know what your talking about, I myself dont go through something exactly like this, but its along these lines. This sounds more like a life story, which, would make the imagiry much easier to pursue, and you did great on it, I totally understood what you were explaining. Your vocabulary was sweet, no kid words, all big, grown-up words, lol. But that makes this peice even better. Next dude, was your flow and multies, I was in aw when I read the first couple lines, and you didnt fall off one bit in here, thats mostly what had amazed me, it was all the way through, no choppyness, maybe a little bit here and there, but damn dude, the matched syllables, pretty much everything your supposed to do when you want a peice to come out more than decent. Your structure was fine, strucutre isnt really a big factor in OM's to me, or even Poetry of course, I meen, it helps the reader follow along, so good strucutre doesnt hurt, but I would never bash someone on it. But yours was perfect none the less.

So overall, this peice was fucking sweet, I enjoyed reading this, and I as not dissapointed one bit, you did a great job expressing this shit, and adding multies, flow, everything. Truely a job well done. Im looking forward to seeing more from you in the future. Keep it up man!

*Nominates*

wow i liked everything bout this nice topic tha lines and flow it as all good

Thanks for the feed back. It is much appreciated.

woa......this is a real tight drop...i was feelin this all the way..flow was here..very smooth and made it an easy read...rhymes were good and complex..good multies....strucutre was like perfect..vocab was goood.....topic was interesting and i liked this..overall this drop was tight..keep it up....peace

Thanks again.

Uppin over the trash.

gd rhymin
gd flow
gd structure
8/10
keep it up

Thanks

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...t=255653&page=1
peep it "The Prophet: Man vs Machine"

i dont wanna freepost but rtf and hit that up plz

Uppin

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=258893&page=2

Rtf on my collab if you dont mind. Its getting slept on.

Hmm... nice to see you somewhat active.

Unbelievable seriously though.

Quote:

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So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent

---

amazing

Quote:

---

Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.

---

Quote:

---

by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed.
I trained to spit, but never got passed save & print.
The only one to blame is Rich. Im short changing my wish..
by staying the same old way.. i know.. its lame & bitch.
Its a shame I dont switch.. to different mind frame & twist..
my fate so it exists on the same plane as say.. a Jay & Kiss.

---

sorta sad though man. It seems like the final chapter of a book
and with your writing skills there is no reason you shouldn't be
an extemely dope audio. I mean flow wise and rhyme scheme
you could be great. But you know how life is... everything takes
time and money. And when you grow up, as we did, lol... you start
needing more of time and money as they begin to flee. Let me know
what's up with the audio.

This was real nice, i thought your flow was really good and the use of multies also really helped, i love your rhyme scheme though, at times just simple but still effective and then more complex but still so true.

Quote:

---

Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence

---

^that was really good.

You had some good imagery aswell and although i thought this might be played like ones before you really did a good job and its great reading. But on a whole this is a good good piece, i've seen better imagery and emotion in OM but never the less, yours was still good throughout, your a great writer with awesome flow dude, do something about it.

Keep up the good work.

Thanks MM.. I feel you. Time & Money is exactly right.

Reassured by a meer.. compliment or vote of confidence...
or by a quote from a domininant poster with prominence.
Some kept me closer to dropping shit as i chose not to quit.
Others exposed sloppyness in my prose to stop me a bit.
Got me to just.. not to copy shit & find my own style.
So in the mean while, it seems i'll just compile pieces
that aren't Forever Ill & will forever be decent
See, even recently i've written poorly more frequently
and have yet to stream my voice on any known frequency.

Fucking Evolve man, I read this shit so fast, I had to read it once more. It sounded like you wanted to get back at someone, or maybe you just wanted to shake off the rust. Who knows?, but all I know, is that this peice came out dope as fuck. I enjoyed the vocab you added in here, some were a little forced, but most were well put. Keep 'shaking off the rust' Ev lol, nice job. Feel free to hit the links in my sig man, pz.

Thanks Nos.... much appreciated fam.

Dont want this to slip into the abyss of meaningless shit

Holla!!

Nice. piece


I like your use of multies and vocab..
Kina consistent through out wich is good.
Nice subject matter and you attack it very well.
Nice emotions anger little bit I sensed.


"Through..
out my time on the net i've gotten & given respect.
But i've come to accept that my position is less..
than those who let all of thier ambitions progress.
Consequently, i guess.. my admission is this...
I'm on a road to nowhere.. YES.. ignorance is bliss.
Still, im vigorously pissed fame is igg'n me. Dissed..
by same game i've meticuously aimed at & missed."


Nice lines...emotional wise and stuff.
Nice flow those were your strongest lines.

Overall good stuff stay writing.

Only critique is try and use your vocab
wording in better position so it stays
rhetorically smooooth. feel me ?

Thanks man.. Much appreciated

Uppin...

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