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...the end
Im finnally dead now so the rioting has ended
So now Ill put it in a line like my sobietys been tested
All of my life I havent submitted to immense suffering and seclusion
Clueless confusion mental contusions and painful delusions
Please refrain from trying to explain why I used suicide to end pain
Ive heard it all before the monotonous lectures cause a throbbing membrane
But in hell I have really startied to miss Tierras kiss
but the break of my routine was refreshing like sierra mist
Niggas used to look at me and said he never quits
hatin bitches..my death has fuckin been to their benefit
so Ive been regrettin mishappens since my genesis
it wuz evident that eversince birth I had heavensent
so now my bruises are almost literally the path that Ive chosen
but who chooses a path so cold the slightest touch leaves u frozen?
I used to think drugs wuld make it better cuz I culdnt take the pressure
and its so plentiful it causes an internal implosion....
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...62#post3625062
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=257455
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nice concept, good flow till tha last bar, good word choice, lots of emotion I could tell, but tha las tbar kinda fell off a bit
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good vocad flow was real consistant and i also liked the ryme scheme nice drop
leave feed on my om microphone
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yea, that was emotional. Not that I can relate to it or anything, but I enjoyed reading it. Nice job on this one. I'd keep uppin this...
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thanx man... atmosphere is helpin with concepts...
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This shit started out aiight.....but got much better on the 2nd half.
so now my bruises are almost literally the path that Ive chosen
but who chooses a path so cold the slightest touch leaves u frozen?
^^That 1st bar is fucking nice.....2nd is a strong follow.
I used to think drugs wuld make it better cuz I culdnt take the pressure
and its so plentiful it causes an internal implosion
^^and this last bar wrapped it up nicely.
good shit, manye.
def. worth the read.
keep it up
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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post3634106
^^Votes needed...PLZ
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thnx mayne..uppin...caint vote on ur battle dog...not enuff posts
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Multies: OK
Structure: OK
Flow: Good
Vocab: Good
Content: Great
[B]Fav Lines: so now my bruises are almost literally the path that Ive chosen
but who chooses a path so cold the slightest touch leaves u frozen?[/B]
ADVICE: Work on ya structure a lil, but thats a bout it, i enjoyed readin it homie...
VERDICT: 8/10
...Stay Up...
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This is pretty good. Decent concepts, flow was decent as well. Vocab needs to be elevated though, it wasnt all it should be. Overall a good job. Keep it up.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...90#post3634390
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thanx yall
uppin feedback
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yo i felt this shorty....vocab was on point, the flow was cool. some bars was straight up dope...keep doin wat u do shorty.
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