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LLL Jr. Week 3
yup 3rd week of season
last weeks no shows are gone
2 more weeks and belts will be introduced
boot matches also as the league is too big currently
As for this week same rules as previous weeks
Check by wednesday drop by friday
no fucking around
Good Luck :2thumb:
Checkin' in, 12 lines is good
ahhh..... yea 12 lines is good... good luck......
the last 3 lines is meant to count as 2
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeksQuote:
Originally Posted by Record
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
Ya verse ain't hittin' the hardest n' this fag ain't the smartest
Ya shit makes such little sense, I mistook you for an artist
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
But gimme a Seck, cuz he's almost as easy of a win as you
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeks
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
nice^
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
^dope
Ya verse ain't hittin' the hardest n' this fag ain't the smartest
Ya shit makes such little sense, I mistook you for an artist
kinda played but i still liked it
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
dope
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
not goin comment cuz i did'nt really get it
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
But gimme a Seck, cuz he's almost as easy of a win as you
lol. dope
vs
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
wack
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
wack
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
meh,wats dat got 2 do wit anything
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
wack
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
good
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
nah
datrus hurtz won dis hands dowwn he aint even drop hard cuz he did'nt need 2 cuz andres just came wack and his punches were stretched and they were completely wack
v/datrushurtz
drop a honest vote on mine please
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
^^he's been around since 04, dont ya think Trus and Hurtz punches are played. Ah well, nice try
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
^^heh, actually this isn't too bad
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
^^eh
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
^^very played
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
^^err, no
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
^^tried to be clever, but was just way too stretched and badly worded
so you had 1 good line
vs.
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeks
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
^^ok
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
^^heh, corny, but ok
Ya verse ain't hittin' the hardest n' this fag ain't the smartest
Ya shit makes such little sense, I mistook you for an artist
^^meh, ok
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
^^heh, not too bad
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
^^hehe, I liked this
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
But gimme a Seck, cuz he's almost as easy of a win as you
^^heh ok
v/Trus
hahaha.... nice drop trus....
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeks
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
Game over.
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
ok attempt at the personal, but its kinda obvious hes heard this so many times.
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
this was better, but ive seen this wordplay alot maybe why i only thought ok, but betta
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
no hard punch
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
played, alot, ive read this concept so many times l8ly
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
ive seen this alot too, but without any hate u tried to change it and made it less effective
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
this was aight, coulda been better if it wasnt stretched but ok closer
vs
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeks
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
aight opener, not gr8 but ok
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
lol i liked it, good
Ya verse ain't hittin' the hardest n' this fag ain't the smartest
Ya shit makes such little sense, I mistook you for an artist
not feelin this
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
ok, not hitting rlly hard tho, kinda changed a played concept
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
this was aight, not heard this b4, ok
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
But gimme a Seck, cuz he's almost as easy of a win as you
aight closer
Quite obvious from the breakdown Trus got this one by about 2 bars 2 me with wittier and harder punches. I liked the Nasa line, made me laugh.
Andres, alot of ur punches were rlly played, when ur writing ur verse, ask yaself if uve heard a similar punch before, because it just looks bad. Your closer coulda been ok, if it wasnt so stretched, but you still wouldnt of won the battle.
No hate.
V/ trus for harder punches and a more humorous verse and coming less played.
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
vs.
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
even that was just...meh.^
Andres, you came kinda played in about every bar. Your closer the only thing "original" i saw from you. DaTrus, you posted a stabl verse....nothing special but enough to do more then just win. You stayed consistent.
Vote.DaTrus
thanks for the feed.... looks like u gots an easy win Trus... hahaha
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
Rofl^ Now I know you said to break it down, but I think we can make an exception in this matchup.
V. D
you guys can really write!
v/trus. wow, now im really looking forward to battling u.
will explain why in mag. oh n andres two thumbs up for taking my advice. ur getting better.
Record, no hate to you, but you really gotta stop acting like a vet.
Well given this battle is pretty much decided, Andres I'm going to break down your verse for you since you were such a nice sport to me.
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
Okay, you tried to do a nameplay on me. Everyone knows that nameplays on me are played and boring so basically what to learn from this is, don't try nameplays on people with lots of posts or older join dates.
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
The lion concept was actually cool. You just didn't use it well. I woulda made the punch something like this. "Heard ya admit to bein' wack n' gay so listen n' pray // You're not lion... you couldn't scare NO ONE AWAY" This could be much better, but the idea I'm trying to show you is, i basically called myself gay and wack in the setup. Then I said I'm not lying, but when I used the lion wordplay, I used dots to change the meaning of lion so this punch has a double meaning, I'm saying i'm gay and wack, but also I'm not a lion and can't scare no one. Read more examples of wordplay to see how this works.
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
First off, I'm not a ravens fan, lol. Yea, they're my home team, but what this goes to show is I would avoid using stuff from people's profiles. They're rarely effective because we dont' know much about each other. If your going to use personals, they have to be well known and true. If everyone on the site knew I was a ravens fan, this might have been better. Also, this punchline is played, but you shoulda written it like "N' if D wins championships, why haven't ya won yet" (Cuz my name is D), that woulda hit harder
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
you basically executed this punch okay with the wording. The thing is, it's one of the most played punches in the book and everyone has seen it. When you write, try to think about how hard the punch was to think of for you. If it came very obvious, it also probably came very obvious to others and therefore is played. Also, avoid any sort of cock jokes, just trust me.
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
The aid wordplay was cool, but coulda been better and again, nothing with cock/dick jokes. Here's what I woulda done,
"American soliders are dying, go get in the trenches n' dirty
But at least the bitch is coming with aids.......................
........................................cancer and genital herpes"
In this example, once again, I setup one meaning of the word aids, like help, then in the punchline I changed aids and added cancer and genital herpes, lol
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
This is really just a statement. So all you said was basically that there's a chance of you winning, but so what? You know what I mean? That doesn't really punch me on anything. Make sure every line you write is an actual diss
Andres, you improved a lot in this battle. That nasa space punch I wrote woulda hit much harder if you had kept your old style in here, lol, but it's good you fixed that. This verse looked far less newbish than the last one, so good job on improving, but you still as you can see have a very long way to go. Take these tips and keep elevating your game. It takes time, but if you work at it, it pays off. Good luck - Trus
yea my name is andres, but i aint no latino, to tell you the truth
if i was lying, i guess thats the only way,.. i'd get Hurtz by the Trus
Even if this wasn't played its weak.
so u wanna be king of the rap world?..hahaha.. well, good luck trying
cuz if i said you couldn't be king, i'd be like simba, except i aint lion
meh, alright.
ill slow down my offensive lines, so to you, it wont be very confusing
they say great D wins championships, so then why are your Ravens losing?
naw.
man i have a real appetite for women, so dats why last nite i was wit ur girl
they say u are wut u eat, so i guess this guy's the first cock in the world
no.
u really need to up ur talent, go ask a legend if they could help you
forget it, u'd have to suck dicks cuz thats the only AID they'll give you
no.
to you, i know i dont even pose a threat at all, but let me really start rappin
yea i know, the chances of me winnin are like Jay and Nas endin beef,....
.................................................. but wait, didn't that really happen?
naw, didn't like this, too stretched.
you had one or 2 decent lines the rest were blah.
vs.
I heard ya got riches n' bitches n' that ya can blast geeks
I guess that means your the man...
... who won WORST battle of last week
lol
I read that verse, damn, watch me punch where it hurts
NASA found a new fucking planet with all the space in that verse
^^ok.
Ya verse ain't hittin' the hardest n' this fag ain't the smartest
Ya shit makes such little sense, I mistook you for an artist
alright
So who's wackest of the league? When it comes to crunch time
It's not untold, it's been WELL SAID you belong in front lines
pretty coo
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
nice
Takin' the league by a storm, watch as I'm spinin' through
But gimme a Seck, cuz he's almost as easy of a win as you
meh.
v/Trus.
Andres
No quotables imo. You dropped very played and some of your punches just mad eno sence. I know set ups dont really mean much but, some of your set ups were just dumb. Try to get them to lead into your punch, it makes it more hard hitting. Just drop some fresher concepts next week and learn to word them right.
Vs
DTH
Fuckin' punk, I hate newbs, think ya good? you ain't dude
I'd bring an A game, but then I'd drop wack n' played too
Dope. I liked how you worded this.
Average verse you had other ok lines but the one above is the only one I really liked. The Nasa punch could be ok I just didn't like how you used it. You had some other stuff that could have been better worded or just didn't hit that hard imo. Im not going to critique you that much because I know you didn't have to put in to much effor and I know you drop better than this when you have a challenge.
v//DTH
Word.^Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaskez
No offense though nig.
thanks for the feed.... i got a lot of info from this... thanks all
I can come up with a fresh nameplay on you DTH :D If we get put against each other, you watch, hehe
trus wins
DaTrusHurtz (3-0)
Andres (2-1)