First Love.

First Love.

So beautiful, so attractive, all it did was make it hard..
The type of girl to let you fall, just to break your heart..
Shoving love letters in my pockets.. I couldn't stay away..
Making raps, poems, and notes.. But without her..
.............................................I couldn't make a day..
"Im crazy about you babe," and I knew she was crazy too..
Way she looked at me, no lying, this love we were making true..
"Baby boo," the words "I love you" leaving my lips a second..
I'd drive all the way to the country, all arms for her, I reckon..
Every man, fighting her touch, it was much to compete..
Confused, at why she was the piece..
....................................to solving my puzzle, you see..
So straight were her teeth, blonde hair, nice body, all around..
She tripped over a cloud, the way this angel hit the ground..
There were no girls in this world for me, only she was left..
And without her love in my life, I couldn't consume a breath..
I would ruin her rest, cheating upon me, damn whore..
She killed my inside when I caught her..
.................................She was my everything, and more..
I couldn't do anything, no more, thinking about it, it was wrong..
And my voice sucks, but I'd still get on one knee to sing a song..
She never left my mind, and when I say never, I meen never..
Id lose an arm, or end my time, for our passion to last forever..
Crashing, my head to be severed, and her, I loved to see smile..
Not going a day without our speech, she was on every speed-dial..
Crazy in love, crazy like doves, from when the mourning came..
All the way to sitting on her corner..
.............................Yelling "I love you" in the pouring rain..
This stories strange, until I say this, I wont be able to sleep..
All this love and trouble..
Was just about getting her to go out with me for a week..
Im happy we were together, a blessing, from a saint above..
But to the kids who are yet to find out..
......................Don't underestimate the strength of love..
She left me now, its gay, but just let my announcement say..
I’ll never forget my First Love, I still wait for her everyday..

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20 views. And 3 replies by me.

Lazy fucks.

good piece the ryhmes in that were dope keep it up 9/10

Uh, thanks.

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just dope yo, crazy imagery, dope, nice peice...hot wording....10/10

Thanks alot.

I'll rtf on one of your peices sometime tommrow.

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werd..np g...and you made it into Po'Ethics just so you know....and if you could check my try outs..

this was very peaceful read, it was not complex, vocab wasnt mad crazy, but yet it impressed me, the emotion,imagery flowd with every word, i mean some of ur lines were honestly breath taking, and brought out the true fact that you put your heart into the lines...i mean this is very intellectual piece, that isnt overally complex or full of all the things that some ppl look for, but it has heart and soul, something that has just as much importance 2 a good piece....people can really feel what you say....

...this was a good write, keep on doing ur thang...1st thing that i know of that i have read of urs, and i would say im impressed...you kno if ya ever feel like collab'n im always down..holla at speks on AIM: InkSpekz <

*stay up...keep doin what u doin*

the wordplay wasn't all too great, and your vocab was basic, but it was truly a really touching piece man......i really felt i was inside your head when i read this....probalby one of the only peices right oow i didn't get bored of after the first 3-4 lines..i acutally read it twice -=)......it kept me reading, and the middle part where u caught her cheating brought me to the end....i totally understand your ending too man....there's nothing like those flings where u accidently "trip" in love for ppl....cause it ain't fallin nigga....your still young....keep that headup homie

Wow, for sure with the feed guys.

Im flatterd by all your feed.

Thankyou.

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this is sad... because i have been threw it before it... and this touched me because it was a god peice... and i got personal experience... but just because of that dsoent make this peice dope... it just is good has good srtucture... and your in my crew now apparently are you an alias...??? but anyway... nice work here.... check out my new stuff.... i cant sleep......

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Originally Posted by Po'

20 views. And 3 replies by me.

Lazy fucks.

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get used to it... and please dont bitch about it... you just got here.

Rofl, Im not "bitching," about it, I was just making a simple statement.

Thanks for the feed, I'll rtf on some of your shit.

And no, no alais, like I stated in the tryout thread for Po'Ethics, my friend got my on this site, I usually just write by myself at home.

Also, all my shit is for real, so yes, I have expierienced this, thats why it had the imagiry, because its from my emotions.

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This piece is very deep and emotional which makes it very pleasant to read. The structure was on point all the way through.

I honestly have to say, the deepness of this piece made it very good. I have been through this situation before so I can see where your coming from on all aspects.

One thing i would change (i'm victim of this too), it seems some lines you forced the rhyme and that would throw off the line in a sense. But, for most part the lines were good!

That about sums it up from me. Good piece and be on the lookout in Poetry for one of my new pieces tonight.

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Thanks for the feed.

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its is good its a good piece of work and so tru...........9/10

Why the lousey feed from kids now? I leave 3 paragraphs on your shit, and people reply with 1-2 lines. Oh well.

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get used to it -=)...people are selfish..haha

Yeah, Ive noticed lately.

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Nice flow, imagery and shit, liked the feel ta put in it.....Keep it Poppin'

Thanks alot guys.

overall this was tight..i was feelin the topic and the rhymes were tight
flow was smooth and the creatvity and complexity to this was here and it was good
vocab was good pretty complex and the imagery was good when the aprts were good to have it..overall this was tight..keep it up..peace-

Thanks alot.