Lustful (1-0) vs Renegade. (1-0)

LLL Jr. Week 2

Word

first week went kinda well no shows are gone and cats who showed and who signed up are now in...

same as last week check by wednesday drop by friday come good....if your opponent fails to check but shows then that will be allowed but they will be deducted 2 votes for failure to check.....
so all in all you MUST drop a verse this week.....

last of all voting.....im scrapping the 4 links this week, unless voting activity goes then this is how it will stay and if i catch anyone feeding off the first vote you will have votes deducted...constant offence then i'll boot your ass from the league.....


good luck all

:2thumb:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=252847
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=252805
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=252842
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=252809

10 lines..........

predicted to lose, fuk dat, the closer will soon begin
u took the numbers out to look better
.........................but I can still see the noob within
.
.
ren has no girl, beats his dik like it owes him money
hez gone beyond dickriding
.................him and Thor elevated to butt buddies
i no ima son this kid, but still he'z rekoned~to~score
ur crew's roster is like Sadam
...............u lyin wen u say u got weapons~for~war*
ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files
ha, told ya i'd merk, u wanted the W but i hadta close the door
but still try to "cum" hard at me
........................................like when ur tag teaming on Thor

*his crew name is Writen Warefare, sadam didn't have any weapons........................

No hate Thor :love:

Your fuckin' gay son.


I've been on top here for a minute now, though your not 1 to love it
So if you'd like I'll pass the torch..right through your fuckin' stomach
N' ya gotta love it. When the kid disses me yet elevates of my rhymes
But, I can help you be more like 50..In the sence of gettin' shot 9 times
Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag
N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone


GAMEover

Lustful:

predicted to lose, fuk dat, the closer will soon begin
u took the numbers out to look better
.........................but I can still see the noob within
Not hard hitting.
ren has no girl, beats his dik like it owes him money
hez gone beyond dickriding
.................him and Thor elevated to butt buddies
You need to give an example of something they did. Can't just say they dickride.
i no ima son this kid, but still he'z rekoned~to~score
ur crew's roster is like Sadam
...............u lyin wen u say u got weapons~for~war
Wtf hell no.
ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files
Not really feelin it. Ok i guess.
ha, told ya i'd merk, u wanted the W but i hadta close the door
but still try to "cum" hard at me
........................................like when ur tag teaming on Thor
Tag teaming on Thor? Meaning its 2 on 1. Who's the 3rd person? That didn't make much sence. Anyway "come" worplay has been used too many times by to many people.

Overall: To basic and you need to get better using that structure if your gonna keep using it. Keep trying.

Renegade:

I've been on top here for a minute now, though your not 1 to love it
So if you'd like I'll pass the torch..right through your fuckin' stomach
Meh decent.
N' ya gotta love it. When the kid disses me yet elevates of my rhymes
But, I can help you be more like 50..In the sence of gettin' shot 9 times
wtf no.
Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
Better.
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag
What does Record have to do with this battle?
N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone
Decent.


Overall: You came terrible compared to your other verses. You must have known it wouldn't take much to win. Nothing really hard. Still enough.

V/ Renegade for a couple more decent lines. He focused on his oppenent the whole time and Lustfull seemed to lose me every couple bars.

beats his dik like it owes him money
lmao at this one line^

vs

Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
alright nameplay
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag
HOw did you not get this Emanate? and its not worded taht good

vote/Renegade for obvious reasons

And I didnt know tag battling considered me butt buddies with Ren lol?

What the fuck @ Lustful's structure? Your set ups totally bomb the punches, dude.

Lustful- Son i felt you threw nothing in this verse.....Your set ups didnt work at all......u really didnt set up ya punches to lay them down.........Kinda jus made some shit up for the first line then came wiht a punch on the second one.... ur verse wasnt focused.....U had alot of thor shit in here......ok like we care go after renegade.....be more creative....u kinda delivered in a newb way...

Renegade-I felt you came with a more consistent, personalized verse.....you could have done better... but u jus dropped ya non complicated stuff to get it out the way it seems.....cause ive seen ur previous battles and u seem to put alot of thought into them....this time it just felt like u dropped the minimum to win........but u had a better consistent verse

v/Renegade- for mor consistancy

Lustful -
ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files

~Vs~

Renegade -
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag

Lustful- u had personals, personal to ppl he knows n his crew, not him- ur had some multis, but not consistant- ok concepts, but poorly worded- fix those points, and ur punches will hit harder next time-

Renegade- u need to work on ur personals- u had one bar hitting up his name, but everything else were generics- (u dissed his teeth?)- rhymes were pretty basic- u simply had more consistant punches-

Vote: Renegade

Lustfull:
No quotables, sorry man.
Verse just didn't create anthing hard.
Keep plugging away.

Renegade:
Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone

Overall:
Battle wasn't upto much. Lustfull needs to grab a hold of some
concepts that he can work. Just too much filler all the way through,
man. Ren', you had some wack lines lol.. especially the 50 one.
I actually cringed haha. But the 2 I quoted were cool. Maybe a fake
personal with the teeth but still cool. Did enough to win I guess.

Vote:Renegade

v/ren. lmao at rec punch. i will explain in detail in the mag.

predicted to lose, fuk dat, the closer will soon begin
u took the numbers out to look better
.........................but I can still see the noob within
No
.
.
ren has no girl, beats his dik like it owes him money
hez gone beyond dickriding
.................him and Thor elevated to butt buddies
lol @ set up but punch wasnt good
i no ima son this kid, but still he'z rekoned~to~score
ur crew's roster is like Sadam
...............u lyin wen u say u got weapons~for~war*
wtf no
ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files
Aight
ha, told ya i'd merk, u wanted the W but i hadta close the door
but still try to "cum" hard at me
........................................like when ur tag teaming on Thor
wtf with another Thor punch?? And cum wordplay is mad played unless its just really good.

vs.


I've been on top here for a minute now, though your not 1 to love it
So if you'd like I'll pass the torch..right through your fuckin' stomach
Aight
N' ya gotta love it. When the kid disses me yet elevates of my rhymes
But, I can help you be more like 50..In the sence of gettin' shot 9 times
No
Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
LOL good.
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag
haha good
N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone
Na

Decent battle here but Ren took it with better punches and wordplay. Lust had some good concepts but couldnt pull the wording together.

V/Ren

Nothing

vs

Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag

This battle was one sided, Renegade I don't know what's happened but ever since Nique praised you in her mag you seem to have... fallen off. The two I quoted were cool but that 50 line was garbage, and that teeth alignment was a fakepersonal and it'd been nice if you posted a pic. But Lustful WTF is up with your structure man? The shit needs sorting badly and ruins any potential punch you might have. Anyway no offence but your shit was basic and didn't hit hard. Work on using more complex or harder hitting personal concepts and wording them. And also look at Renegades structure if you want a good solid one to use.

V/ Renegade

haha.. ok there man

Jr. isn't really the league I give my all there really isn't a point to drop hard when kid drops ass is there? He drops first and I dropped some shit that I know can beat it not shit that I want to impress the league with. Its pointless to drop dope punches that you can use against some one who actually drops a good verse and waste them in a battle that you can win w/ a small effort. So say I fell off or w/e but, get a battle with me next week and we'll see what's good.

pz pz pz pz

predicted to lose, fuk dat, the closer will soon begin
u took the numbers out to look better
.........................but I can still see the noob within

Didn't hit hard, concept was ok though.

ren has no girl, beats his dik like it owes him money
hez gone beyond dickriding
.................him and Thor elevated to butt buddies

Nah, the setup was better.

i no ima son this kid, but still he'z rekoned~to~score
ur crew's roster is like Sadam
...............u lyin wen u say u got weapons~for~war*

Weak, just the whole concept itself was weak and so was the wording.

ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files

Probably your most creative line so far.

ha, told ya i'd merk, u wanted the W but i hadta close the door
but still try to "cum" hard at me
........................................like when ur tag teaming on Thor

Don't use cum lines, they are really played, and the Thor thing was weak anyway.


I've been on top here for a minute now, though your not 1 to love it
So if you'd like I'll pass the torch..right through your fuckin' stomach

Ok, the wording was cool.

N' ya gotta love it. When the kid disses me yet elevates of my rhymes
But, I can help you be more like 50..In the sence of gettin' shot 9 times

Weak.

Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit

This was nice.

Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag

Not bad, quite creative.

N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone

Nah, didn't like this.


Renegade took this really easily, he had the lustful line which was cool, at first I really liked his verse then I re-read and it sorta dimmed down a bit. Lustful, just try and improve on your concepts, as you're using really poor played concepts at the moment, and combined with weak wording they ain't gonna hit at all.

v/ Renegade

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Renegade.

haha.. ok there man

Jr. isn't really the league I give my all there really isn't a point to drop hard when kid drops ass is there? He drops first and I dropped some shit that I know can beat it not shit that I want to impress the league with. Its pointless to drop dope punches that you can use against some one who actually drops a good verse and waste them in a battle that you can win w/ a small effort. So say I fell off or w/e but, get a battle with me next week and we'll see what's good.

pz pz pz pz

---

Lol I don't think you've fallen off I'm just saying you're not dropping as hard as you were a few weeks ago, you're still a very good textee but I haven't seen the same quality from you. I don't want beef or shit and I respect the fact that your better punches are required in better leagues. This is the only league I battle in so I might as well use what I've got, but meh, whatever man. You still won easily, you know you didn't come great and I'm not gonna shit you an say you did. You need more than enough to win and had 2 quotables, seems good to me.

Yeh. man I'm not trying to spark beef either. I understand when people say that I didn't drop like I usually do or w/e but, you went as far as saying i'm falling off. When I purposely only dropped as good as I had to win the battle. I look @ it as why waste a verse of my better punches when I can with with a few decent ones nahmean. I'm not going to drop to potential until I get a battle with some one that's going to make me work(No offence to lustful).



pz.

predicted to lose, fuk dat, the closer will soon begin
u took the numbers out to look better
.........................but I can still see the noob within
Eh I Was Feeling And Thinking You Was Goin Some Where In The Next Bar,But I Lied so Naw
ren has no girl, beats his dik like it owes him money
hez gone beyond dickriding
.................him and Thor elevated to butt buddies
Nope
i no ima son this kid, but still he'z rekoned~to~score
ur crew's roster is like Sadam
...............u lyin wen u say u got weapons~for~war*
naw
ur understudies are wak, all of em stay to played styles
and all ur crew callouts get passed over
...........................like they were racist complaint files
naw
ha, told ya i'd merk, u wanted the W but i hadta close the door
but still try to "cum" hard at me
........................................like when ur tag teaming on Thor
NO

Lust-Over All You Came Very Basic And Your concepts was wack you could of came up with somthen in the beginning but you just fucked it up and you dont look like you tried

vs

I've been on top here for a minute now, though your not 1 to love it
So if you'd like I'll pass the torch..right through your fuckin' stomach
eh decent but naw
N' ya gotta love it. When the kid disses me yet elevates of my rhymes
But, I can help you be more like 50..In the sence of gettin' shot 9 times
heh
Your 3 Line style is ass. N' I aint speakin' nonsence when i say u aint legit
So..If this nigga ever said his name was dope, we know lustful of shit
meh could of reworded it but nice wordplay on his name
Plus you haven't achieved nuffin << thats good enough to shutup this fag
...When the only way you could own a record..is if you fucked up his mag
lmao
N' kidz teeth are fuuuucked up, a retainer could take your throne
...I could draft a fuckin' staircase with your teeth alignment alone
DAMN now thats fucked up lmao If you had a picture of him hehe

Ren-OverAll Your Verse was Coo I Liked Your Concept in the Teeth Bar hehe was mad funny your structure was straight nice wording in your verse some lines i didnt like but very creative verse :)

v/ren both reasons are after their verse break down pz

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Renegade.

Yeh. man I'm not trying to spark beef either. I understand when people say that I didn't drop like I usually do or w/e but, you went as far as saying i'm falling off. When I purposely only dropped as good as I had to win the battle. I look @ it as why waste a verse of my better punches when I can with with a few decent ones nahmean. I'm not going to drop to potential until I get a battle with some one that's going to make me work(No offence to lustful).



pz.

---

Lol you're gonna totally rack me for this but I think your drop in LLL was worse than your one here, I didn't feel that verse at all. I don't think the problem is just 'I drop what I need to'. I'll admit, I had block this week that's why I didn't drop as well as usual, I'm not gonna make excuses and say why waste a good verse on someone wack?

Nah, nothing wrongs with having an opinion. Dood no-showed either way so it doesn't matter much. I got into LLL to late to make playoffs anyway. But, I'm getting confidence back in my writing I'm going to try a new style next week. By next season of LLL I should be ready.

But, till' then I'm going to settle with ownin' y'all..lol =)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Renegade.

Nah, nothing wrongs with having an opinion. Dood no-showed either way so it doesn't matter much. I got into LLL to late to make playoffs anyway. But, I'm getting confidence back in my writing I'm going to try a new style next week. By next season of LLL I should be ready.

But, till' then I'm going to settle with ownin' y'all..lol =)

---

Lol yeah good luck next week. When you're at your best you own niggas. Whatever style you use make sure it's not:


..................................................
...................................

Lol I used to use that style eons ago. I love Fractures old writing style, he had his ...'s perfect.

Renegade. wins

Renegade. (2-0)
Lustful (1-1)