16-26 Lines
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No Hate, Crew or Dick Riding Votes
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16-26 Lines
House Rules
No Hate, Crew or Dick Riding Votes
1 Hour Minimum
Check-In.
checkin in ill be dun in bout 1 hr
wut u mean 1 hr Minumum?
I mean maximum. My bad.
A Murder in the Process
A slow tango of the slivering knives,
The love of an incision autographed on your chest,
Risking double jeopardy with your life,
Our present tense is a murder in the process,
Slowly,
Mutely,
Softly,
Acutely,
Towering sky scrapers loom over like guardian angels,
And business buildings cut close to the corner like acute angles,
Alleyways pull in their welcome mats with their unforgiving dark,
Children frolic and play and the secureness of their neighborhood park,
Apartment building windows have a gap filler with an air conditioner,
Feigns are visible and attentive to passersby like good listeners,
But somewhere in the neverending drone of beeping horns and bustle,
There's a partaking were only the wind blows to make the leaves rustle,
Blood stains these leaves like church catherdral windows,
A frenzy of air, and you can't tell where the wind blows,
He's on top of her, in a very suggestive position,
Her body goes rigid, he hasn't even reached the exposition.
His thumbs concave in her neck pressing on her windpipe,
Through the thick veil of trees and buidlings, it's not even in sight,
She tries to let out a scream, but it's noting but a raspy whisper,
And she's losing her virginity as well as her life, the first man that's kissed her,
And the everlasting cycle of the city plays on, they could care less,
The world doesn't stop or freeze, for one murder in the process.
Topical - A Murder In The Process
I stand to hear the quiet night
to see the dull gray moons light
shadows cover as the clouds disappear
and fadin black til it turns clear
I mis interpret the thought of a demon
wit blood bleedin as i see a woman screamin
as its viciously pleasin like nightmares dreamin
laughter with pain as the starts breathin
the shadows movin rapidly as one pounds the otha
the child holdin her brotha as they see eachotha's motha
cryin and pleadin to circumstances they drain in pain
to mark the insane with crosses as da children complain
hell is unleashed and treated as a disease of peace
but if peace is kind y deny the keys of beliefs in these
when inocent gettin treated like sheep as they weep
with a creep to deep to determine their sleep
with eyes never openin as they close with reality
no mortality will live as the end of the melody
the riot of this woman as she falls on the ground
her children that mound of what their eyes have found
as death strikes near to what they believe is fear
nothin has happened yet to clear whats really near
As the man flees in the distance
no existance of wut runs at instance
suspended in mind that cautios as consious is nautios
the woman is dyin as a murder in the process
V/Exact
Exacts verse was MUCH more creative, said some pretty interesting things, his imagination just ran wild, thats how it seemed. It was quite complex and kept me reading and interested. Nice drop, next time center your piece tho so it looks better and more professional.
V's verse was alright, it was pretty basic tho, i was kind of bored while reading his lines, flow and structure was good tho, and his vocab was pretty damn decent. Not a BAD drop at all, but I can see him getting alot better, considereing he's a no weight I see potential. Keep it up
Please hit my battle here fairly for this fair vote of mine, Thanks :)
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=249825
Thanks. Upping.
Dont over look my battle guys
I didnt, i read both verses.........i cant vote though need 300 posts i only have like 105 but thanx for votin man and nice battle between u and bjamminQuote:
Originally Posted by Thor
uppin ~1~
Cool thanks, and what about you Exact? See this is why I dont vote battles, cuz dudes dont return a fair peep
assholes,
v/ exact
he had better imagery, i could actually picture what was happening, and it was much more complex and flowed well, and EXCELLENT creativity, plz hit up my battle w/ DEF reaper
Upping.
exact gets my vote for this. i felt he came through in this topical with some good images painted through out as i read. the vocab came nice that fitted with the topical. venom, nice flow you camew ith. exact, your lines stretched at time which made your flow come off a little.
for creativity to the verses, i would have to say that exact put more into his verse for the creativity. exact put on a good closer to his drop. venom, it seemed as if you ahd more to say. but exact put up a good closer. that was tight. my vote goes to exact for putting the mose creativity to his verse in this topical and also putting more emotion and expressions to it. hot battle doe
vote/E
God, Thor, stop humping my leg and PM'ing me for votes.
Upping.
jesus exact murked dis nigga... his creativity was enuff to make ME think LOL, good shyt tho i really liked the vocab and the whole idea of what you were sayin...u were tellin the story...and i could see it in my eyes...murderous came a lil to simple wit it not wit hypnotizing lyrics...this is props to exact dont get gassed tho
v/exact
u can checc the first battle in my sig and the three vs three after if u want, but checc the first link in my sig n drop honestly thanx
Last upping man.
alright now my turn uppin this come on peepz plz vote fairly
nce drop Exact and good battle man
//v exact. Creativity, and flow are the most important things too look at in a battle like this. And it has both on Venom.
~K-JaBz~