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A Soldier's Sorrow
A Soldiers Sorrow
I can’t take it and the end cant bear to see it
my whole life wasted on fighting for myself shits orthopedic
not one to give up and welcome such failure but to my surprise
I have face defeat this time and tears of sadness fall heavily from my eyes
I can’t do it no more, fighting a war I cant win
To all who looked up to a nigga, shit, I’m sorry again
It’s been a long Rhode in this life but now all must end
Because that little flame inside has been blown out from this stormy wind
Its ova! Shit case closed no more fighting for beliefs
And its sad cause I’ve had this song in my heart for weeks
If I let u down I honestly didn’t mean for all ya to follow
A born leader on his knees, head down, this is a soldiers sorrow
I’ve been hit from nuclear weapons, to being labeled as menace
From time to time being used thinking my world will be replenished
With the goodness of heart, wisdom and shit beyond such treasure
But don’t get a nigga wrong leading my troops has been a pleasure
Jus remember I gave it my all to my last breath
And I hope the next nigga will finish this mission n carry out my rep
Once told history remembers Kings, not the soldiers of old
But I’ll tell u if it wasn’t for us Kings would have nothing to uphold
Grasp by there stern grip and call there own
A soldier is jus a King that’s mentally unknown
All I’ve learned I’ll pass to ya and hope for better
And when the dust from my bones is gone I’ll be able 2 still fly with ya feathers
I’m exhausted really this has been my life’s journey
I jus wish I could be that nigga ya really yurn 2 be
Is it in me shit wearing a crown wit no gold
And before I take my last breath there are secrets of this nigga ya need 2 know
In battle believe it or not I was always scared 2 go
A soldier’s deepest fear!
……Dying before accomplishing more
And for the last time I’m sorry but they win……I lost
Paid more then the cost to be the boss I take my crown and toss
I walk on this battle field for the last time staring at the sky
Jus asking God that one question that was always stuck in the back of my head…….Why!
Its painful but at the same time I can rest in peace
Knowing I left it all out here so ya can remember me
So as a soldier takes his last breath and last step on ground that’s hollow
I collapse wit all knowing and energy gone jus so ya can see….. A soldiers sorrow
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You need 2 links to 2 open mics you've left decent feedback on or this will be closed. Read the thread at the top of the forum if you don't know how. If you up this again without leaving links it will be closed.
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This is a alaryte piece,still, i think you should try make it better so it can flow,
,and try to put bigger vocab its still good and keep writing and elevationg peace1!!
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decent OM your flow was decent ur structure could have been better i like the topic and i like the drop just work on the structure just a tiny bit but good drop
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i like that shit.it was real good. keep it up.
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Hay thug guy wat inspierd you to write that
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Shit im going through right now in my life.
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Oh thats deep I likes that
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I'm feelin' that it had good overall flow and vocab wasn't to bad it was a good piece i would love to hear as Audio
you had me cuaght up in it from beggining to end
keep spittin'
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it was a koo song....all i can sya to fix, is put some more vocab up in it.....but this was a nice song...keep the writin up
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Nice Drop...i especially liked the line: In battle believe it or not I was always scared 2 go
A soldier’s deepest fear!
……Dying before accomplishing more
This was a deep peace a little bit more vocab. would make it deeper but nice man
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Nice Drop...i especially liked the line: In battle believe it or not I was always scared 2 go
A soldier’s deepest fear!
……Dying before accomplishing more
This was a deep peace a little bit more vocab. would make it deeper but nice man
__________________
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still here and uppin...that reply was from a cousin of my using my name at the time but still looking for feedback...uppin
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flow was weak ann not all sentences rhymed. sort out da rhymes nd keep it up.
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good shit
the topic is fucking Great, yo. the things you talk about are extremely interesting. but it seems you have the same problem i do. just writing our true emotions without any structure. it is a great fucking OM but to become a song it would need better stucture. i wish i would have come up with that idea. but the hungry kid gets the food, right? nice fucking job on the real. you've inspired me to write tonight and that takes a lot since i am currently deployed in Iraq. keep this shit up.
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hey i liked that piece im feeling it, was deep 2!...nice flow, you should try out an audio 4 it...should be good
hope 2 c more in the future :D
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Not bad, for the most part I enjoyed it, easy to follow, one thing id probably suggest is that you branch out scheme-wise, try something a little different, switch it up every so often to keep the reader interested. I enjoyed this piece. The potentials there, just keep working at it.
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aiight il use that advice
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i'm feelin this peice real life shit, nice flow too
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yo leave feed on my om refelection
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i like this 1 ; my best friend's in the Marines and my man's in the Army--just from talking 2 them bout it, i can tell that they'd b the same way...
i guess what i'm tryna say is that u did a good job relaying ur feelings (even if it wasn't meant 4 others 2 really relate 2)
I give u alotta props 4 puttin this out there & letting ever1 c what u all bout
Keep postin' cuz i wanna c what else u can do...
if u gotz time, chk my OM "Letter From A Ryder" & provide HELPFUL feed -k- Gracias!
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270190
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shiiiiiiiit thankz fo da feed.
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yo U spit some real sh!t kid much props on this at least its good to know its still real lyricist in this world keep doing what you do playa........
The Iron Monk
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sorry those last line werent to you I meant wHat I siad to you about your flow being raw and if some reason your reading like this nigga trippin just know I think you are raw......I gotta close some of these forums im in but sorry for wasting useable space.........
a very Blowed Monk.........(hehe)
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uppin.......shiiiiiiiiiiiit
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lol...must be knew 2 da site homie....uppin
