The Haunted Mansion feat tuCkzz

tuCkzz Blue
Frostbite Red


The haunted mansion, where ghosts lurk around the corner/ the once living that were slaughtered there, but now haunt there once living quarters to keep order
They will not tolerate trespasors, no living shall enter this place/ and if you do they'll bring your pain, leave you dead wit your white tee covered in red stains
Nuthin but mailce misery despier and agony/House full of demons evil spirts and dead body all ova just ill and ragidy
Horrible smell that will make ya nose come off like Michel/No escapin this house u run all ova this bitch but spin cycle
And you can feel the ghostly presence, you can smell death's essence/ if you enter this mansion, death will be your only present/the ghosts will dismatle you head, lay you out on your funeral bed/ these demons are like cars with no brakes cuz there aint no stoppin them/This House got ya head messed up like Santa Claus real or fake/U'll find out when the house have ya head layin on a dinner plate
The house is hungry and the appetiate is to die for/Ya chances of gettin out this house is ya chance is livin from swallowin C4/The house is full of demonic souls that will eat ya whole/ so when i say never enter the mansion, do what ya told/
if you enter you'll get erased, the eerieness will drive you insane/ the ghost will get there revenge for all the years of pain, once you enter theres no escape/ Lost Soul roam and torture anybody in the wrong room/Which means if u in this house now it could be ya death soon/
Lifeless soul and creature from a parrel universe all in 1 house/Like hell on earth or just a lil taste of armegendon in this house/When i say dont enter then listen, this house is hells definition/ the ghost feed off of chaos enrichment, its not a good place to live in/
There demons that will leave you headless, knock you sensless/ the mansion is lika prison, and the souls that live in it are forever arrested/ Got ya trapped and the devil is poundin on the fuckin door/Ya heart poundin cause u shit poppin out the floor/
Devil breaks the door to and the room turns into a inferno/Ya life is ended and flush away like Draino

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=238805
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...54&page=2&pp=15

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...10&page=3&pp=15

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...54&page=2&pp=15

Uppin for feed

Gotta admit. This was the 1st time that I have seen this subject. Very original piece and nice rhyme scheme was applied to this title. For what its worth, you guys did a great job staying on topic. The story description was kinda vague though, but never the less, it was a descent drop..

thanks man

Yoo This Is Something Really Good.. !!! I Dont Know What 2 Say.. !!! Keep Up Homiez.. !!
Nice Work...

Yo nice job wit this. Also I found this to b an original. This was full of wordplay kore than decription, but thats good. It's good to practice. There was still decription, I'm just sayin there was way more wordplay in here. What more can I say, I liked readin it.

pz

if anybody really likes this than nominate it for OM HOF

uppin for some feed

Uppin for more feed

come'on ppl lets get some feed here.

yo that was sik real original howd u come up wit the topic?

thanks for the feed

uppin

Everyone's right, this was a good topic. I've never seen this topic done before but I do think you could have done a much better job of writing on it. For starters almost EVERY line in this thing said "the house" or "the mansion" in the line. That got WAY too annoying I almost couldn't finish reading it just b/c how much that was said. Simply b/c of that it took away from the whole piece b/c instead of saying that you could have detailed the house more with action or descriptive lines instead of the same thing. We knew you were talking about the house/mansion in each line b/c that's the title. No need to say it a lot. I'm gonna do a piece on this topic. This looks like it'd be fun to write on... ya care?

pz

Interesting topic. Like the guy above me said, the repetition of "this house"/"this mansion" got a little tiresome and I felt you could of added more action/description (perhaps both). The flow was straight and structure was alright.

uppin

uppin

Anyway, do ya mind if I give this topic a shot... I'm not about to bite someone's idea but I think I could tear up this topic... collab with me if you want shit I don't give a fuck...

pz

Thanx for the feed

Uppin

Gotta admit. This was the 1st time that I have seen this subject. Very original piece and nice rhyme scheme was applied to this title. For what its worth, you guys did a great job staying on topic. The story description was kinda vague though, but never the less, it was a descent drop..

thanks for the feed.. uppin

The second link isn't working, please replace it with one that is or this will be clsoed.

ok.. ill do that now

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...33#post3363133

there.

Uppin from Hell

Ayo first things first...work on that structure...

You had good multies vocab and metas and all but it took me like 20 extra minutes cuz the structure is fucked...your flow was pretty good and I like how you two intergrated teh flows and what not...good shit and nice topic, but your approach could have been better it seems like a typical approach...think outside the box and then take a different approach to the subject or somethin' knahmean?...anyways it was alright just work on a few things, like creativity, imagery and structure and y'all will be alright :2thumb:

pz

this is an old one.