Is this Rb? EVERYTHING EXPOSED

I gotta get sum issues off my chest about this site, so i thort ul put it into a piece...

Is this rb? for real? where there's plenty of biters and rhymers
-i stay focused like cassius clay, the best still livin fighter
net love net thugs, give me a pair of fucking net gloves
-net beef aint on the street, go ask 1 of the mods for sum net relief
this shit funny, u know why? coz in most of your rhymes you lie
-tragedy this mum and dad that, please nigger-we aint guna cry
you had the emotion but you had no devotion-you total crap
-you had the vocab, but your structure is off key-you equal wack
i came on here to up my vocabulary,crazy carl & jonny helped me
-Warchild influenced me, Edicius left feed that pushed me
but still, you have cowards trying be summit they can never digest
-so i progress to elevate an keep my enemies laying on they chest

net beef aint for real, you been playing too much gta
net love aint for real, um not suprised if you gay
net thugs net loves net drugs and sex
what the fuck are you niggaz guna come up wid next

i'm dig deeper than a mole and hurt u like a mother fucking cavity
-i define gravity, why you mad? your feedback is the shit that helped me
dont hurt me please i beg you um sorry, i know u a hardman
-you benlaadam? well if you not your ass better run man
i cant understand man! typeing away thinking you 1 of da goodfellas
-now think clever we on rb, we cant even see each other fellas
a battle is a battle, a newb mite be better than u wid 4000 post
-forget wat you wrote, your whole rhyme scheme is a mother fucking joke
rapbattles dot com i herd of this place thru an ex member
-i remember my elevation took me from mid may to septemeber
like a seed i listened to what the members said about my lines
-used it to improve a little, to produce improved an beta rhymes

net beef aint for real, you been playing too much gta
net love aint for real, um not suprised if you gay
net thugs net loves net drugs and sex
what the fuck are you niggaz guna come up wid next

www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240359
www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=218995

aww, thiz wuz some hot shit, ya flow and rhymes i wuz feeling that to the fullest, U had nice descroiptive words from ya mind and feelings about it all and that wuz hot. U had a good struc as well, i hope to see how U do with other type subjects as well, cus thiz wuz hot hope ta see more of shit, keep up the good writing

Wassup Tre nice piece son your pieces are improving still which is good to see, your vocab has really improved its helping you to come up with some good emotion in your pieces. It's allowing you to express your feelings and thoughts without making it sound corny. Your wordplay is moving on and getting better gradually so i really like your verses, Om is starting to get better right now its good to see other dope writers back on here.
The only thing i could criticise is the lack of multies try and mix in a few just to make your pieces slightly more complex. Also try and work in some metaphors, or punches if its a witty boast type piece.
Return the feed on my new Om:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=240126

This shit was real good. The flow was good and the vocab was picked well. All in all it was a good write. You could tell that it was somethin that you felt and that always adds more to it. Keep it up man.

Thanks for the feed yo, ayo warchild thanks yo, u half the reason why um elevating dogg, anyway uppin!

How gay, 28 views and 3 replies, reply if u reading this ayt!

Best parts of this peice.....flow....structure....concept(diss to site)....hook.....some of the content...

Worst parts of this peice.....lack of strong metas/wordplay/punches....this is along the lines that a diss peice would be and you use few if any aspects of making a great diss

I see you got some skill..but.....anytime you write a diss it has to be with great skill because its such a regularly occuring concept

^^Thanks for the feed, i know homs um still elevating u herd piece!

uppin.......................................

yo this was real good I give u a 10/10 u had everythin goin right vocabs good flow. keep it up

dope ass fuck sons yeah word holla nigga

southside gangstas we takin hitz

dope ass fuck sons yeah word holla nigga

southside gangstas we takin hitz

nice sig.

yo that was crazy and i mean that in a good way every drop u drop always seem to please me man [no homo] but u gonna make it man keep up the good work

Thanks for the feed yo, much appreciated. uupin

I guess this writting some up what you think of RB from your standpoint. You had a great flow, nice word choice / usage. Unfortunately, there is a lot of truth in what your are speaking...

meh piece. u had some nice, some decent n some blah. i think u shoud work on ur rhyming kinda like this:

instead of writing:

i ran to kill
and i jumped to fill

u can make the last 2 similar to make it sound doper like:

i ran to kill
and had her hand to fill

jus some advice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Record

meh piece. u had some nice, some decent n some blah. i think u shoud work on ur rhyming kinda like this:

instead of writing:

i ran to kill
and i jumped to fill

u can make the last 2 similar to make it sound doper like:

i ran to kill
and had her hand to fill

jus some advice.

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thanks bro, no hate homs that makes me elevate thanks yo, thanks fo da feed,

Was a gr8 piece, i mean...u had dope as fuck lines in there!!
check, this was def. an eye opener for me

Quote:

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i came on here to up my vocabulary,crazy carl & jonny helped me
-Warchild influenced me, Edicius left feed that pushed me

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you had really nice flow as well, pretty good... structure was nice to follow, and also nice to see some names in here that were being mentioned for respect aswell, a great drop... nice homie

thanks, uppin

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Trema

Edicius left feed that pushed me

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dope

:thumbup:

Thanks mike lol, uppin

uppin.....