Dear Summer

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October 5th, 2005, 01:47 PM
Nahlidge

Dear Summer

Dear Summer, I know we ain`t talked in a while
It`s like I been puttin` you off, and it`s gotten me down
To the point where, I can`t even spark up a smile
Of a grown man, still got the heart of a child
Tryna, break bread and find my way down the road
Is breakin` my soul, these pot holes are takin` they toll
Cuz when the block get hot, that`s when your home go cold
And these little kid games when we grown, grow old
So, I`m tryna live for 2morrow, I ain`t promised today
Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
Of tears, not tryna waste my years
Erase my fears, get to any place but here
Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug
And you grabbed me heart first to help me raise that son
October 5th, 2005, 01:56 PM
Mystery~Murdera

Quote:

Tryna, break bread and find my way down the road
Is breakin` my soul, these pot holes are takin` they toll
Cuz when the block get hot, that`s when your home go cold

wow... line of the week...
October 5th, 2005, 01:56 PM
Blackflags

Yo Ment......This Shit Is Deep Man, I Like This, It's Short, But Sweet! And Has A Nice Little Short Story Line To It Man.....Ill Drop Son

Keep 'Em Comin!!!

Pz.
October 5th, 2005, 01:57 PM
Nique.

this was dope..

and the flow was real nice

you said a lot of meaningful shit in here

good shit

So, I`m tryna live for 2morrow, I ain`t promised today
Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
Of tears, not tryna waste my years
Erase my fears, get to any place but here
Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug

^Favorite part...real fluid

good shit
October 5th, 2005, 01:58 PM
Paradox1080p

nice man, don;t normaly peep text, but this was more in the structure of a song..
good emotion, short but sweet...props..
i liked the grown man with a heart of a child line..

pz
October 5th, 2005, 01:59 PM
Nahlidge

Appreciate the feedback. And Noor it`s a verse for a track. I don`t write much shit mainly for text anymore.
October 5th, 2005, 05:27 PM
J-Hova

Yo this shit was fire homey u spit flames this shit is hot kid
October 6th, 2005, 01:28 PM
Nahlidge

Uppin`.
October 6th, 2005, 06:10 PM
Mistral

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
October 6th, 2005, 06:49 PM
K-RicK

yo tight rhyme
i liked the flow and the structure of that
some meaningful shit that u spit
tight for real homie, keep spittin
October 6th, 2005, 06:58 PM
Pharoah.

it was ok......... itd prolly flow betta to a songs beat.. like waht youre doing with it
only thing really missing was vocab and a bit more multies......

pz
October 6th, 2005, 07:52 PM
guiffre

Pretty Nice Ment, short but to the point.
theres something about your work that stands out to me....in a good way though. It might be short but i really enjoyed the poetic vibe it gave me.

Good Job man
October 6th, 2005, 10:38 PM
Infamousfelonies

I don't know what you guys was reading but it wasn't that hot. It was alright I mean it's apparent that you guys are friends or something from the way that you are talking about this piece. I don't care for it that much because this has been done before maybe if jay-z hadn't done it first then I would have liked a lot more better. Your structure was good and your topic was fine. But your rhyming was basic nothing special what really got me was when somebody said this was a deep piece. WOW but no diss man you know I like it. But I'm not going to kiss your azz and worship your ground or nothing like that.
October 6th, 2005, 11:41 PM
Domain 9

That was a good piece Nahlidge. I liked:

Cryin` over last week`s loss, is only a waste
Of tears, not tryna waste my years
Erase my fears, get to any place but here
Damn, girl it`s like I can`t embrace your love
But when push come to shove, I can`t replace those hugs
So many niggas in the hood can`t escape that drug

I was really feeling that part and the rest was average... I have seen MUCH hotter verses come out of you but this is still a good read... Good job fam.

pz n cherries
October 6th, 2005, 11:50 PM
Mic D

nice kid.....it is deep......nice wordplay thrown in......but its more about the emotion then anything else that makes it nice
February 10th, 2006, 01:37 PM
Mystery~Murdera

Quote:

I don't know what you guys was reading but it wasn't that hot. It was alright I mean it's apparent that you guys are friends or something from the way that you are talking about this piece. I don't care for it that much because this has been done before maybe if jay-z hadn't done it first then I would have liked a lot more better. Your structure was good and your topic was fine. But your rhyming was basic nothing special what really got me was when somebody said this was a deep piece. WOW but no diss man you know I like it. But I'm not going to kiss your azz and worship your ground or nothing like that.

yea, Nahlidge what were you thinking? you shoulda had lines like

"they phsycotic, mutlibiotic state of slitting her own mammal wrists"

I mean that's the good, deep shit.