Small Axe

So if you are the big tree
We are the small axe
Ready to cut you down (well sharp)
To cut you down
-Bob Marley

The corporate ladder, propped in front of my path, awaits
Directly relates to my status, and any influence I create
That escalator, merely steps away, is inaccessible
More fortunate cohorts drive my fury to irrepressible
Effortless elevation in the face of my climb
They peer over, as if disgraced by the time...
Put into an area I do not enjoy thoroughly
Subconsciously I employ jealousy
They have what I deserve, the statement I dwell upon
Left to observe, wanting what their pockets swell from
I grasp the ladder’s frame, needing to make up position
More talent, if not the same, why can’t I get recognition?
They will become the big tree that towers above me
Branching out, their power is stretched, more widely seen
I, like the rest, have not accepted this as simply routine
Those with my situation, stand below, sharp with emotion
We are the small axe, ready to cut, bringing their demotion

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229592
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=229555

See I like words man, and especially good use of words. Good read, liked the title too. Personification makes it even more interesting. Keep writing and come as wide ranged as you do. I would drop feed.

i was the vocab a lot homie i liked the topic too

bump

up.

pretty nice fosho.. nicely worded and my kind of vocab fosho...sum decent multeas

and all round dope ryming.. nicely set up in the format as well i'd say

keep it up

i personal liked this peice cuz i said something
instead of just complimenting herself. Wordplay
was good as hell, and especially ur word choice.
Thats what really pulled me in the peice.
You doing ur Thang Girl, keep on doing it too,
only problem was that line wit jealousy

Overall Shits tight

word usuage was nice with the flow.....clean verse man

first off, i want to say that ive seen a lot of ur pieces and they always had a great meaning to it. great job on all the other ones now for this one, this was a great topic. it got my attention b4, but i chose other ones. the rhyme scheme was very advanced. i guess u mostly used vocab to rhyme the lines. great job. ur structure was pretty good. pretty easy to read and understand. had some depth and made it flowing and so on. i personally liked the beggining (i dont know y i always do) but i just like how people think up of the opening lines. i didnt find anythin i didnt like in this piece! great job man keep up the good work on ALL of ur rhymes. 10/10

thanks man, up

Quote:

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The corporate ladder, propped in front of my path, awaits
Directly relates to my status, and any influence I create

---

Pretty good bar... made me want to start reading some more of it. The inner-rhyme on the second line is decent as well, and the first line is pretty cool. 7.5/10[/b]

Quote:

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That escalator, merely steps away, is inaccessible
More fortunate cohorts drive my fury to irrepressible

---

Good long ending rhymes...okay lines. 7/10

Quote:

---

Effortless elevation in the face of my climb
They peer over, as if disgraced by the time...

---

Pretty good...flowed nicely. Not really outstanding. Good alliteration. 8/10

Quote:

---

Put into an area I do not enjoy thoroughly
Subconsciously I employ jealousy

---

Jealously doesn't really rhyme with thoroughly...enjoy and employ do. Pretty good. 7.5

Quote:

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They have what I deserve, the statement I dwell upon
Left to observe, wanting what their pockets swell from

---

from and upon don't rhyme... swell and dwell though...you keep doing good on the inner rhyme. 7.5/10

Quote:

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I grasp the ladder’s frame, needing to make up position
More talent, if not the same, why can’t I get recognition?

---

Once more, you used a good many-syllabled end rhyme. Also, nice inner rhyme. 8/10

Quote:

---

They will become the big tree that towers above me
Branching out, their power is stretched, more widely seen
I, like the rest, have not accepted this as simply routine

---

Nice...wordplay, metaphors, you got a lot in this verse. 8/10

Quote:

---

Those with my situation, stand below, sharp with emotion
We are the small axe, ready to cut, bringing their demotion

---

Dope finisher. 8/10


Overall- I'll give it an 8/10. It's nice, you had some dope inner-rhyme, wordplay, pretty good concept. Keep dropping. Also, RTF on either Animated Creatures or Forbidden Fruits.

....word this was a str8 piece you had good usage of vocab...A pretty good concept...keep dropping brah...

Branching out, their power is stretched, more widely seen
I, like the rest, have not accepted this as simply routine
Those with my situation, stand below, sharp with emotion
We are the small axe, ready to cut, bringing their demotion

..i would say these two lines stood out the most...

...keep em coming brah...good piece...i'd love some feed on Silent Tears...

this was pretty good piece..

have a pretty good choice of wording throughout and thats the main thing in a great piece. flow was pretty nice.. overall vocab, concepts and message were well done.. not bad, keep up.

yeah man good job on this. it was short and sweat, at first i thought it was gonna suck because of how short it was but it was real good. u had nice flow and the structure was good so ..... good job. u already no this but ima say it anyway but ur wording was good and if u post again i will definetly what u got. i like how u took a quote and made an om out of that i havent seen that out of a lot of people and it was cool. hit up my om called gods day off

Thanks for the feed everybody, links have been hit up

well, i saw your link for this rescent peice and i havent seen any of your peices in a while.......

this was really good like most of your peices are, i liked the beginning, it got me interested into the peice, descriptive writing was here, topic was really interesting and creative, flow and structure was very nicely layed out, i enjoyed this overall through the whole peice, nice job, and keep it up, you have great rap skillz- peace

and hit up this link, thanks
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=231539

Links been hit up...bump

this was a creative topic, i liked the rhymes, flow was smooth through out the whole drop, nicely thought out, structure was even............ vocab was very nice......complexity was here, nice job overall, keep it up........................

I thought this was decent nothing really grabbed my attention in the piece.
The concept was original but in my opinion you didnt do the concept justice.
Some of the bars were cryptic and you overused your vocab a lot in the piece. Your imagery was good but the flow was inconsistent so it seemed to make the verse uneven. Next time you think of a hot concept take your time with it and write more than a verse it will make it more detailed and enjoyable to read.

Return the feed:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=232302

this was a good drop, the flow was there, nice vocab too. I liked the multi's too...
and i cant explain it, but i really liked this bar:
Effortless elevation in the face of my climb
They peer over, as if disgraced by the time...
that was sick, but i dont know fo sho why i liked it so much, it was jus when i read it, i was like dam, that was hot, lol, .... i'm not crazy, anyway, good drop homie, keep it up...

~one~

this is one of the best pieces I have seen in a while and expect to see more of them from u in the future nice drop . great usage of words multis and xpressing urself in this piece . i also enjoyed the topic and it kept me reading

8/10

nice drop..good use of words and good structure
Flow was on point,stayed on topic...stay up playa

thanks everybody, up

pretty soild use of vocab and flow was nice word hits in the head like damn this kids pretty good, your not bad id give this like a 7/10

Nice words very good use of vocabs

Nice just as usual. keep droppin. i'll keep readin it.
PEACE